Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Ways To Spend An Extra $13 A Week

With reports the stimulus will provide workers with an extra $8 to $13 a week starting in June, I've been contemplating what to do with all that extra cash:

1. Buy a Snuggie on an installment plan.

2. Trade it in for 1300 pennies, stack them, and pretend it's gold.

3. Buy a Whopper from an airport Burger King.

4. Don't spend it; save it up until I have a fat wad to flash around town.

5. One $13 hooker each week.

6. Thirteen $1 hookers each week.

7. Buy stock. Or light it on fire. Whatever.

8. Get dial-up internet service.

9. Hide it in a mattress for the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

10. Liquor. Duh.

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