Last night some inhuman goal scoring android from the future replaced my daughter. Before this game Macy had not scored any goals and her team was on a two-game losing streak. So, like Joe Montana, Michael Jordan and Bluto Blutarsky before her, she took the team on her shoulders and led them to an 11-1 win.
She scored four (!) goals including a nifty breakaway one-on-one where she actually changed direction with the ball and faked out the goalie. It was like watching Pele in Victory only with more hair. She also got some goalie time in and shut the other team out in her time in net, including a save on a hard-struck ball following a penalty where she had to catch the ball out of the air. It was like watching Sylvester Stallone in Victory only with better diction.