Monday, September 20, 2010

She Never Saw It Coming

By now some of you may have heard that I popped the question to Donna while we were in Nassau, Bahamas on vacation. The plan was a lot more romantic before the Night of a Thousand Pukers. Since my original plan was spoiled by the rough seas, I decided not to chance waiting until the next evening and asked her as we sat poolside at the Atlantis Resort. Again, not the most romantic proposal in history, but it got the job done and she never saw it coming. To answer the inevitably questions:

1. Yes, she accepted. Jerk.

2. There's no date yet.

3. Donna is not pregnant.

4. I don't know if you'll be invited; we haven't discussed guest lists yet.

5. Yes, there will be an open bar.

Vacation, Happy To Get Away

So Donna, Macy and I are on a late vacation to Disney World in Orlando, with a 4-day cruise to the Caribbean thrown in for good measure. Things got off to a rocky start, what with our departure time and all. See, when I booked the flight I had two choice: 5:00 am or 5:00 pm. I chose pm as the lesser of two evils. The flight itself was actually quite pleasant; the plane to Minneapolis was only about 1/4 full. Normally the flights to the Twin Cities are piloted my guys who wear aviator goggles and long, flowing silk scarves. This time we were on an actual jet and thus the extra room.

The same thing happened on our Minneapolis to Orlando leg; we got to spread out and I only had to punch one old lady in the head for reclining her seat into my lap. Unfortunately, the late start meant we didn't get into Orlando until 11:00 pm local time. By the time our Disney-approved sherpa got us to our hotel it was almost 1:00 am.

Disney is generally a first class operation when it comes to customer service, but I have to tell you; if you take a Disney vacation don't cheap out and stay in the budget resorts. We stayed in the Mighty Ducks building of the All-Star Movie resort, which is a long-winded way of saying "Motel 6". At the time though we didn't care; by now it was almost 2:00 am and we needed sleep.

The next day (Sunday) dawned bright and humid in that inimitable Florida fashion. Soon the general disappointment in our accomodation was forgotten in the grease of a $32 breakfast and the disel exhaust of the giant bus taking us to the docks and our cruise ship. True story: the last time I took a Disney cruise I drank nothing by water, juice and milk for an entire week. Not a single drop of alcohol passed my lips. Another true story: this I lasted about 36 seconds in the welcome buffet line before I looked down and noticed I was holding a Bahama Mama.

Anyway, things were going swimmingly until the sun went down and we noticed that the ship was pitching to and fro like LA waiter to a table of network executives. I have never suffered from motion sickness. Not so for Donna (or my sister-in law). While putting up a brave front, Donna had to excuse herself from dinner (aside, appropos of nothing: I got escargot!) at which point I got her some Dramamine and tucked her into bed. Suffice to say I may never get her on another ship again.

At any rate, tomorrow we are scheduled to wake up in Nassau, Bahamas where we get to spend the day at the Atlantis Resort lying on the beach, playing in a water park, doing some shopping and otherwise not pitching around in random directions like the bridge of the Enterprise circa 1968.