Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Superheroes For The Economic Crisis: Congress Man

(Note: This is part four in a six part series looking at a new breed of superheroes for the new economy. Read background here.)

Congress Man


Congress Man is a powerful wizard from a dimension in which magic is an every day occurrence. Not in that "any sufficiently advanced technolgy will seem like magic" way. We're talking honest-to-goodness magic, like turning straw into gold or finding a bus that doesn't smell like urine.

This be-fezzed dynamo of justice uses the ability to bend reality to fight crime. He has already made headlines in the battle against earmarks. Making this enemy disappear was as simple as denying its existence! Such is the power of Congress Man.

High taxes, his oldest foe, have been dealt defeat after defeat by our hero. Using his hamster ball-shaped Crystal of Power, Congress Man was able to turn tax hikes into tax decreases, simply by changing the nature of reality. Thanks to him, reducing a proposed tax increase is now the same thing as lowering a tax! Excelsior!

The power of Congress Man is great, and will be sorely needed in the coming Class Wars. While some claim the Class Wars are being perpetrated by Congress Man himself, he denies it, saying, "those rumors were started by some unemployed American Gladiator watcher not fit to shine my gardener's shoes".

No comments:

Post a Comment