Monday, January 12, 2009

Something Wicked This Way Comes (to Destroy My Toilet)

Fargo, ND -- Police are warning residents of Fargo to be on the lookout for a serial toilet breaker. Last seen in late December, the suspect was reportedly responsible for single-handedly doubling one resident's water bill.

"Apparently, she was able to flush the toilet without allowing the ballcock assembly to reseat the flapper, causing the toilet to run continuously for a week while I was on vacation," said Donna Marshall, 33, of Fargo. Marshall then alternated between giggling uncontrollably while repeating the word "ballcock" and weeping at the sight of her $108.65 water bill.

This is not Marshall's first encounter with what police are calling the Crappinator. An earlier incident left her toilet clogged beyond her capacity to fix. "There was water and [excrement] all over the place," said Marshall. "It looked like a Fryin' Pan restroom."

Anyone with information is urged to call the Fargo Police Department. In the meantime, residents are urged to be careful who they let into their bathrooms. Support groups are forming for past victims. Contact the Fargo-Moorhead YMCA for details.


  1. That artist's rendering is scarily accurate.

    Even if it does look like it was drawn by a 4-year-old.


  2. Macy was busy playing her DS, so I was forced to draw it myself.


    Jay, you could easily moonight as a sketch artist. If this drawing were given to police, they'd pick her up in about 5 minutes.

  4. I just realized looking at it again that I forgot to give her eyebrows.