Saturday, January 3, 2009

Running Diary of a Falcons Game (part 1)

3:30pm CST: Kickoff. Don't blow this Don't blow this Don't blow this.

3:42pm: Ryan's first pass is intercepted. We're the worst team in football. Is it too late to draft Dorsey?

4:10pm: Falcons get on the board. It's 7-3 in the 2nd. We settled for a field goal. Get Jerry Glanville on the phone. If he's still living in Texas, he can get here in time to coach the second half.

4:21pm: On a 3rd an 9, Anquan Boldin takes a ten yard pass around the left end for a 72-yard tounchdown. 14-3 Cardinals. How can the NFL let a team as crappy as the Falcons in the playoffs? The Falcons suck, the Braves suck. I hate sports.

4:33pm: Ryan takes the Falcons down the field. Roddy White drops a 32-yard pass when he is blinded by the incredibly low difficulty involved in catching a pass when you have no one around you for 20 yards and the ball is placed directly into your hands. Worst 1300-yard season by a receiver ever. He then proceeds to make about 36 tough catches to get us into 1st-and-goal. Like I said: most underappreciated wide receiver in football. Turner around left end untouched from eight yards out -- touchdown. We're back in this thing baby! Didn't I tell you!

4:42pm: Some white guy lets a Warner pass bounce off his shoulder pads. Interception Chevis Jackson. Announcer Tom Hammond calls him "Chee-vus". I don't care. This is the greatest defense in the history of history.

4:49pm: We're up 17-14 after the old fake-to-the-back-and-throw-it-to-the-white-guy play.

4:59: End of the first half. I need beer.

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