Tuesday, April 14, 2009

When Pirates Attack

With all the pirate attacks going on now, you'd think that a solution would be in the works. Instead, there seems to be a lot of handwringing and debate. In the U.K., they're worried that captured pirates would claim asylum, and retire to a cushy (compared to being a pirate) life on the public dole. It also would possibly violate their human rights to detain them long enough to enroll them in the NHS. I'm not kidding. To think Britain used to hang pirates.

In the U.S., I'm still waiting for the President to make a strong statement. What should he say? I'm so glad you asked! He should announce a new mission for the U.S. Navy. Begin patrolling the troubled waters. State clearly and with no equivocation: any ship approaching U.S. shipping in a threatening manner gets one warning. After that comes the sinking, with the ten-inch shells and the booms and the water splashing and the drowning.

Why this is even a question is beyond me. Hundreds of millions of dollars have apparently been paid out in ransoms over the last several years. Think how many bailouts the world could afford if we still had that money!

Why is this hard? Kill the pirates. Don't detain them. Don't give them asylum. Don't negotiate. K-I-L-L them.

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