Thursday, April 9, 2009

Six Degrees Of Salad

Donna signed up for the position of The Bringer Of Salad for the Easter weekend trip we are making to her parents house. This has inadvertently led to my being schooled in the labyrinthine world of potluck salad-ology.

There are apparently many categories of salads, each with its own special group of sublevel designations. Donna is in charge of brining two salads. She has settled on specimens of the leaf and either the pasta or potato styles. There's also something called the "sweet salad" genre, which includes fruit salads and dishes made from things like Snicker bars. I had no idea anything made primarily with ingredients from a vending machine could be called "salad" but there it is.

There's also a creation that is sometimes referred to as "taco salad", but contains Doritos and Western salad dressing (also known as "Red"). I am convinced that midwesterners stole this from some lint farmer in Alabama, as this is the most redneck thing I have ever seen midwesterners consume[*]. Don't get me wrong; it's actually pretty good. But come on: tell me it doesn't sound like something that you can buy from a Piggly Wiggly store in Mobile, in a container with a picture of a toothless guy in overalls and no shirt stamped on it.

[*] Note: fair food, including deep fried Milky Ways, deep fried Coca Cola and deep fried frying oil are exempt from this claim.

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