10 Things Congress Debated Longer Than The Stimulus

1. Olives on the dining hall nachos: green or black?
2. Could President Obama create a boulder so heavy He Himself could not lift it?
3. Allowing members to text in votes from those resorts "where the real work of Congress is done".
4. Mandatory tax preparation training (rejected).
5. Making graft lost after shady business deals are exposed deductible from income.
6. Creating the new cabinet position of Secretary of Press Leaks.
7. Hiring readers to ensure members know what's contained in the bills they're voting on (rejected).
8. Increasing the age before Social Security benefits are paid to 116.
9. Is Mighty Putty really that strong?
10. Voting for a Congressional pay raise. (Ok, this is the one thing that took less time to debate.)