Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Your Kid May Be An Honor Student But He Has Idiots For Parents

An open letter to parents of students at Ellen Hopkins Elementary School in Moorhead, Minnesota:

Are you one of those parents who park in the middle of the driving lane in front of the entrance, trapping cars who have parked legally for drop off along the curb? Do you do this because your precious darlings can't be expected to walk more than thirty feet to get into school? I've got news for you: your kids go and play in the snow banks without gloves or boots before class begins. If they're going to get frostbite, it won't be because of the walk from your car to the building.

Do you just like to create traffic jams in the parking lot? If so, then you are an idiot and should have your driving privileges revoked. I'm serious. You're too stupid to be allowed to drive.

Do you think you're just too special to have to pull up to the next open spot on the curb? You're not. Unless we're talking "special" in the short bus sense, you, sir or madam, are not special. Your kids aren't special either. I don't care if they're honor students (what does that even mean at an elementary school). It's clear you never were. Or if you were, then it just goes to show that honor students at elementary schools can grow up to be morons.

Why don't you try setting a good example for your kids for once and obey the rules about drop offs. It's not that hard. Even an elementary school honor student could figure it out.


  1. Another rough morning at the elementary school? Welcome to the age of entitlement and's the eurasian milfoil of society.

  2. Screw it. I'm mounting a .50 cal on the hood of the F-150.