Rights I Just Made Up: The Right To Go To A Grocery Store Without My Child Seeing People Drink Wine

Seriously. I mean, the author of the bill put it just that way:

"And you know my feeling was if parents decide that they want to go to a wine tasting in a specialty store and they have a two-year-old or infant in a stroller, that's their choice, it's their children, you know? But when families go into grocery stores and they don't want their children exposed to that they have a right to that too, and so that's what we were trying to do." (emphasis mine)

I don't want my child exposed to smelly guys in wifebeaters buying Cheetos and Mountain Dew, carts that squeak like they're being tortured, or bleu cheese dressing. Do I have the right to go into a grocery store and not have my delicate flower of a child exposed to these things?

I want less of the first, more of the second at my local grocery store.

Of course, the law referenced in the story has the added feature of not being what the author intended at all, but, oops, so sorry, it can't be fixed until the next legislative session. In the meantime, sorry for the inconvenience!

Here in the midwest, people don't realize the exquisite convenience of being able to pick up a bottle of cabernet or a six-pack of beer while shopping for groceries. Don't worry though; at least my fellow North Dakotans don't have to bear the horrible risk of exposing their children to a wine tasting.



(Link via Overlawyered)