Monday, September 28, 2009

'The Funniest Movie Ever' Usually Sucks

I love movies of all kinds. I especially love horror movies, though most of them are terrible. Alien, The Ring, and Halloween (the original) are notable exceptions. A special place in my heart exists for movies that defy conventional genre labels. Donnie Darko. Fight Club. Memento.

But comedy is the bread and butter. Who doesn't like to laugh? It's the one genre that everybody likes, even though one person's hilarious knee-slapper is another person's why-are-we-watching-this-again whipping boy.

Which brings me belatedly to the subject of this post. If I had a dime for every time someone told me," you've got to see __________. It's the funniest movie I've ever seen!" I'd have, like, a pack of Juicy Fruit, because that's all you can expect for $1.10.

The thing is, I have yet to like any movie used to fill in that blank. Here's a partial list of movies that have been presented to me as The Funniest Movie Ever. I'm sure I'm forgetting a few, but whatever. You're not paying for this content:
  1. There's Something About Mary -- There sure is, but that something isn't comedy.

  2. O Brother Where Art Thou? -- I actually liked this movie, but it wasn't very funny.

  3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- One thing I don't have to worry about with Donna is her ever using this or any movie like it in that blank. God, she's awesome.

  4. Napolean Dynamite -- I got tired of Jon Heder in like eight seconds. The only thing I liked about this movie was the White Stripes song playing over the opening credits.

  5. Superbad -- At least its title had honesty going for it.

  6. American Pie -- This movie bored me and it was full of boobs for God's sake.

  7. Scary Movie -- I don't remember anything about this one. That can't be good, right?

  8. The Big Lebowski -- I know this one is dripping with cult cachet and all that, and to be honest I didn't see the whole thing. That's because what I saw didn't make me laugh.

  9. Tommy Boy -- Should have been rated 'U'. For ugh.

  10. Wedding Crashers -- I'm too depressed now to go on. Thanks, usually-reliable Vince Vaughn.

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