Friday, October 23, 2009

Hippie Mail 2: The Return

Donna got some more hippie mail recently. Unlike some earlier correspondence, it didn't revolve around massacring wolves with apache helicopters. Instead, it revolved around buying various animals for various indigenous peoples from this place and that. They're very professional looking mailings. It's only when you open them and start reading that the crazy becomes evident.

Don't get me wrong; charities are wonderful things. Helping others is a noble goal. If a girl in Peru is given a chance to choose one thing that will lift her out of poverty and she picks an alpaca, hey, I've got no problem with that. Personally, I would say, "just give me the cash value", but I've never been a ten year old Peruvian mountain girl.

It seems to me though, that these charities could just buy a few goats, alpacas, rabbits, water buffalo, chickens, etc. Make sure they get some boys and girls and, you know, let nature take its course. They should only need some farmland, some feed, and maybe some mood lighting and Barry White CDs.

The other piece of mail makes a pitch for a much less nebulous form of help for those people suffering from third world maladies like measles, malaria and Madonna buying up all their children. It asks for money to do things like provide cataract surgery for the blind, provide training for healthcare workers and building community gardens. Noble goals, to be sure. Then it goes for jugular, and well, misses.

Bob Barker was a very vocal proponent of spaying and neutering your animals. Pamela Anderson extolled you to go naked before wearing fur. Ed McMahon told you how easy it was to sell your gold online. Who will stand up and plead the case for third world eye surgery?

This guy.

I am not lying.

Here is how he is introduced in the catalog: social activist, clown, author, Co-Director of Camp Winnarainbow.

Social activist and author make perfect sense. I have no idea what Camp Winnarainbow is (I'm afraid I might have a bad trip just from typing it into a search engine) but I'm sure it's brought a lot of something or other to an unspecified number of people. But clown? Unless you're the co-director of Kamp Krusty or possible a member of the Harlem Globetrotters, is that really an adjective you want attached to your endorsement?

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