Friday, June 5, 2009

Songs In The Key Of Parnanoia

Those Geico commericals really piss me off. The ones with the stacks of cash with eyeballs that stare implacably at some helpess diner or dry cleaner patron. Some third party steps in to say, "that's the money you could be saving with Geico!"

Well, it's a pile of cash. It may have eyes but there sure aren't any legs on that monstrosity. Just grab it and put it in the bank. Or buy shoes. Or hey, go for ironic and use it to pay your State Farm premium.

The worst part is the crappy '80's song that plays in the background. Somebody's Watching Me sucks. Always has, always will. So Geico, if you want to fix this broken heap of an ad campaign, take it in new, bizarre directions. Have the money stalk a specific actor-working-for-scale rather than a random bunch of saps.

Show the money following a victim to the bank, the health club, the grocery store. Show him or her in the shower, then pan over to where the money creature is silently staring from the slightly-parted doors of a cabinet. Show those grotesque eyes patiently watching from the foot of the bed while he or she sleeps. Go Alfred Hitchcock with that mother.

And for Jeebus' sake, pick a better song. Here are a couple off the top of my head (both of which could easily suggest plot points in the campaign's paranoia-soaked story arc:

Or, if you're worried about pissing off the fringe right with the devil music:

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