How do I find out whether I am attractive? [My friends] tell me that I am attractive, but they are either lying or trying to make me feel better. How do I find out? And does it matter whether I am objectively attractive?
Look in a mirror. Ask a stranger. Yes.
My husband and I have always attended Thanksgiving at his sister's house since we married seven years ago. We eat at 2 p.m. sharp, and my sister-in-law is right behind the last one in line, packing up stuff and putting it away. She won't accept any help, and when I bring food, it gets handed back to me when I leave. My family is now scattered all over the globe, but my husband and I have friends we'd love to see on Thanksgiving, and I want to have an open house myself. Should I just plan our own gathering and deal with his family's wrath? Or is what I want to do just not that important?
Invite all your family and friends to your sister-in-law's house. When you go through the food line make sure to heap food on your plate till it touches the ceiling. Don't bring any food of your own. Make sure you constantly and loudly remark about how long it's taking to clean up the buffet table. Don't offer to help. As soon as you finish eating, take your friends and family and leave without saying goodbye. Go enjoy a bottle of wine somewhere. Next year you'll get to host Thanksgiving at your place.
My husband and I recently attended a funeral. The service was so intense that someone actually fainted. I'm a nurse, so I dashed over to the man's side. On the way home, my husband asked me about the fellow who fainted. I shared the experience of helping a stranger and talked about the funeral and the eulogy. I was pouring my heart out, but when I took a breath, he broke in and said, "I see Pedro's in the game." How can I let him know that it means a lot to be able to share my feelings and experiences with him?
I understand your frustration. Bringing in Pedro in that situation was the wrong call. A left-hander was the right move. It's called playing the percentages and it's what smart managers do.
As always, compare my advice to someone getting paid and see how I did.