Saturday, January 15, 2011

Blogging The NFL Playoffs: Falcons Vs. Packers, The First Half

So here we go again, Falcons playoff football.  See how I played it off like the Falcons are always in the playoffs?  Pretty cool, huh.  God, Atlanta, please don't blow this.  Everyone in the world is picking you to lose.

7:06  Enough with the banjo and the "it's the FALCONS VS THE PACKERS" lead in stuff. Just kick the ball off already.

7:11  Did they say this is the Zac Efron Band?  Isn't he the kid from High School Musical? Who knew he could sing. (Song continues...)  Oh wait, he can't.  Don't quit you day job, whatever that is.

7:15  Kickoff.  Okay, we didn't fumble.  My first wish came true.

7:23  Well, the Falcons game plan of getting into 3rd-and-eight-or-greater as often a possible is a success so far.  You can only convert so many of those, guys.

7:27  Color guy say, "the last time these teams played Atlanta predominately rushed three guys."  That is an utter lie.  The Falcons blitzed almost every play when the played in December.  I am now officially ignoring everything you say.

7:29  The first turnover comes courtesy of a heads-up play after the Falcons blow 3rd-and-13.  That's it, lull them into a false sense of security, then GET 'EM.

7:33  First 4th-and-inches of the game for the Falcons.  Go for it.  Seriously.  Go for it.

7:34  Nice.  If Ovie Mughelli had eaten one less cheeseburger this week he doesn't have the heft to get that.

7:36  Hey, Michael Turner, thanks for showing up.  When he wants to be a beast, he's a something from the Paleozoic.

7:53 "Maybe Jordy Nelson can be a hero for the Green Bay Packers."  Maybe someday you won't be a complete tool.  Seriously, just come out and say, "I really want Green Bay to win this game".  You'll lose your "objectivity" but at least you'll be honest.
7:56  Eric Weems, Pro-Bowler.

8:07  How many bratwursts did it take to buy off Chistopher Owens?
8:13  The DirecTV commericial where the superhero is too busy watching TV to notice that the city outside is turning into Detroit when the Pistons win a title is pretty good except for the fact that he's watching "Twilight".  Who is he, Effeminate Lad?

8:20  See, Matt Ryan, when you throw one like that it makes people question your arm strength.  Throw the damn ball.

8:23  Now John Abraham is limping.  Rub some dirt on it, John.  Fulton Kuykendall is the second best pass rusher on this team and he retired in 1985.

8:30  So, I'm not an NFL defensive coordinator, but if I saw Aaron Rodgers buying winter coats on eBay while scanning the secondary, it might occur to me that rushing three guys is never, ever going to work.  Eight-person zones are also about as useful as checking Georgia Bulldog  academic transcripts for A's.

8:33  Touchdown Packers.  Oh well, it was a fun year, I suppose.

8:39  FFS.   Bing it.

8:41  Breaking out the hard liquor now.

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