Macy and the rest of the Horizon Middle School orchestra performed at Fargo Assembly of God church last night, because apparently if you want enough room to seat all of grades 5-8 and their friends and family you have to use a church. (Seriously, if I attended that church and they passed around the collection plate I would give my best watchoo talkin bout Willis look.)
The orchestra got to perform with a world-renowned composer and concert violinist, Daniel Bernard Roumain. It was a very cool performance, as DBR kept things moving and basically ad-libbed some great accompaniments to the songs (he only had about four hours across two days to work with the kids).
Macy is coming along with her violin playing, and it's reflected in the growing complexity of the pieces she's playing. Last night's selections were Double Trouble and the awesomely named Dragon Hunter.
I readily admit that I had trouble finding Macy during the first piece so if you don't recognize the people I zoom in on, that's okay; neither did I.
In September of 2011 I made a promise to the band that played my wedding. As the members are all Microsoft employees, it is a tradition that they play our annual Christmas party which is known as the Holiday Wine and Cheese. The name refers to the original party back in the days of DOS and 5¼ floppy disks when it was literally a wine and cheese shindig. These days it is of course a three day bacchanal resplendent in tales of our market exploits drenched in flagons of ale and the blood of our enemies. But I digress.
One of the cool things about the band is that they allow other musicians to come and rehearse new songs with them that they then play at the party. The promise I made to them last year was that I would be one of those guest musicians in 2012. Little did I know then that the earth would not be depopulated my Mayan gods by now, so it appears I have to honor my promise.
Since my motto is Curdeficiatsemel cummultisfaciam which means roughly, "why screw up once when you can screw up a bunch of times", I will be playing not one but three songs with the band next week.
The first of these is one of my favorite songs of all time and so I asked to play on it. Here is what it is supposed to sound like:
The 4:00 minute mark of that video is still one of the coolest things I've seen in a music video this side of Tool. The second song is one I suggested to the band:
That of course is Jack White fronting the Raconteurs. Awesome band, and unlike his old band The White Stripes, one that doesn't owe me a concert. Side note: the Stripes canceled a date in Fargo because Meg White had a bad case of can't play the drums anxiety. The group broke up before they could make the date up. If they ever play a reunion show, that show better be in Fargo, Jack White.
The last song in my trio is one that I was only asked to play on last week so I haven't had much time to prepare:
Now, for the bombshell you never saw coming: I'm actually playing the acoustic parts on this song. Mind. Blown. You're welcome.
Macy has recently taken up the violin as part of her school's orchestra program. She recently had her first recital at the Festival Concert Hall on the campus of North Dakota State University.
Fifth graders from all the Moorhead elementary schools participated. Most of the songs were played utilizing the pizzicato technique (they've only been playing for a few weeks).
They had a dress rehearsal just before the performance, and their teacher was confident enough in their abilities to let them conclude the concert with this:
So far, Macy seems to really enjoy playing. She practices five nights a week. It would be pretty cool to have a violin player in the family.
...if Gibson is still around. In what may be yet another case of the Obama adminstration trying to bully businesses it doesn't like, the feds raided Gibson's facilities in Tennessee over some wood (I'm not kidding).
What makes this possibly politically motivated? Well look at who gives money to whom:
It has come out that Juszkiewicz is a Republican donor, while the CEO of one of his principal competitors, C.F. Martin & Company, is a Democratic donor. Martin reportedly uses the same wood, but DOJ hasn’t raided them, leading to speculation that the Obama administration is sending a warning to Republican businessmen that they had better not oppose his re-election, lest they face criminal investigations.
Funny how that works out. If there isn't a political component to it, it sure looks like there is. Complicating matters is that a certain high-profile dignitary once gifted a Gibson to a foreign counterpart. Wonder if the investigation will extend that far. Nah, probably not.
All this sort of thing does is make me want to spend my money on a Gibson the next time I'm in the market for a guitar.
I finally broke down and bought a small practice amplifier for my old electric guitar. I bought the guitar back in 1988 or so. It's an Ibanez EX series. I got it for about $200 which back then was like a gajillion bucks. It still sounds pretty okay though, and it holds its tuning alright. That's pretty good considering that guitar didn't see the light of day very much between 1990 and 2011. I did take care to store it properly, so good on me.
Anyway, now I can hear the licks I'm trying to play and I can tell better if I'm getting it down. Cat Scratch Fever doesn't sound the same on an acoustic, and it's not much better on an unplugged electric. I got a nice little amp at Schmidt's Music after I tried to go to Marguerite's only to find out that they close at 6:00 pm on weekdays because, well, shut up, that's why. Anyway, it's a nice little Fender Mustang I which is rated pretty highly as a practice amp. It can crank at 20 watts even though it's the size of a paper shredder (no, seriously -- it's sitting on the floor right next to my paper shredder and they're the same size). My guitar couldn't be happier.
Now I can start learning some of the dulcet riffs of my childhood. Stuff like Judas Priest, Heart, and Krokus. Yeah, Krokus kinda sucks but I always liked that one song. Sue me.
So I'm learning the guitar. My first step was to find some software that would help me learn the basics. If I felt the need later to get some personal instruction, at least I wouldn't be a total newbie, right? I finally settled on something called eMedia Guitar Method. (I see it's going for $49 right now -- funny, I got it for $39 last week). I've gotten through the first three chapters and it's pretty fun. I recommend it if you're in the market for such a thing.
The more important thing is that both MJ and Donna want to learn as well. So this weekend we've been huddled around the computer learning chords and terminology and 3/4 time and 4/4 time and all that fun stuff.
But I'm getting ahead of the story. I told MJ that if she really wanted to learn and if she stuck with it, I would get her her own guitar for a birthday present. I needed to go to the local music store (Marguerite's) to get some strings for my acoustic guitar along with a couple other little things. But since Donna is interested too, it seemed we were short a guitar. So when we went into the store on Friday and I told the clerk that I was looking for a starter guitar for a nine-year-old, somebody's eyes got really wide.
So MJ has her very own guitar now. She's really into it (I hope that lasts) as the learning software starts off at a very easy pace.
Then we had another issue; Donna doesn't like either of my guitars. The electric is too heavy and the acoustic has a round back which made it hard for her to keep it in position. So on Saturday we went back to Marguerite's and Donna picked out a really nice-sounding Yamaha for herself. It's like we're starting a band.
That's MJ's starter guitar on top. My very old not-so top of the line SPS
is in the center (hecho en Mexico!). Donna's new Yamaha sounds awesome.
So far so good. I've got the dozen-plus chords I've seen so far down pat (though I can't transition to a C-chord to save my life). I'm having a lot of fun with it. My immediate goal is to be able to play some simple songs from beginning to end. My medium-term goal is to get good enough to justify buying a new electric. That's a bit off in the future though, Maybe a small practice amp for the Ibanez I have now is a little closer to reality. We'll see.
Last night I did something I haven't done in about twenty years: I went to see Megadeth in concert. They're touring with Slayer and (apparently) decided to use their off day to rake in a little extra cash by driving over to Fargo to play a gig. Donna and I went with a couple friends from work (both of whom in true metal fashion were in the bag when we got there).
Of course, in situations like this you have to put up with the one-off opening acts. In this case, there were three. Some would say three too many, and I would be one of those people.
First up was some band who's name I can't remember. They sucked, so it's okay. They had a late 80's Nine Inch Nails looks to them, but their music was more like that time Trent Reznor's cat got gang raped by those rabid banshees who were in turn being gang raped by Polish police sirens.
The second band was called Warbringer, and with a solid early-eighties metal name like that, I was hoping for some good metal. I got some pretty heavy riffs accompanied by this guy:
I am become death, the destroyer of comprehensible lyrics.
They could be pretty cool, but even as a teenager I wasn't into the growl-really-low-and-don't-say-anything-that-can-be-understood school of singers. Dave Mustaine ain't Pavaratti, but his vocals work for me.
The third act was a true abomination in the eyes of the Lord, Suicide Silence. Jesus Christ. This band is apparently on the forefront of the movement to replace bridges, verses and solos with breakdowns. Each song lasted about twelve minutes, and consisted entirely of a ten-second lightning riff followed by a two minute breakdown consisting of atonal screaming and the lead singer stomping in rythm to the bass drum. Kids eat this crap up apparently, but then that's why kids are morons.
The singer looks like he's on the ginko biloba and heroin diet, as he was so thin as to cease to be visible when turned sideways. I shall call him Trainspotter. Fashion tip, Trainspotter: if you're going to wear sneakers on stage, buy jeans that don't end halfway up your socks.
Suicide Silence: this band committed neither of these things and we were all the poorer for it.
Easily the highlight of Suicide Silence for me was when Trainspotter introduced a song by saying he wrote it for his daughter. He then proceeded to screech for eight and a half minutes. Here are the lyrics, as I understood them:
Donna and I had quite the time holding pretend conversations between Trainspotter and his daughter: "Daddy, play that song you wrote for me!" "Of course, pumpkin. Yeaaargh blaf brop brop..." Good times.
This would be a good time to comment on the state of moshing in 2009. That is to say, it is both tamer and more annoying that I remember it. Tamer in that I saw no blood. I saw people spend large parts of concerts on the floor unconscious at a Slayer concert in the late eighties. They'd wake up ten minutes later, realize where they were, get up and start the devil signing anew. Last night was more like square dancing for short bussers.
It was more annoying though because I was constantly getting hit from behind. Blindsiding is uncool and leads to poor hygine and cancer. I simply began keeping one eye behind me and raised my elbow when appropriate. Okay, so I threw an elbow when appropriate. Which turned out to be when anyone under the age of thirty approached me. I have to admit, throwing elbows at the heads of teenagers is way more satisfying now that I'm over 200 pounds and can get some force behind it.
After that is was on to the main event. Megadeth was pretty awesome considering 1) the show got moved to a smaller venue[*], 2) the acoustics in The Venue are not conducive to heavy metal, and 3) Dave Mustaine is like 48 or something which is 116 in metal years.
I managed to shoot some video. The audio is pretty bad early on. Once the solo kick in it improves somewhat. Dave can still play.
All in all is was a good time. Megadeth can still bring it, though Dave Ellefson not being on stage with Mustaine is just plain weird. I'd love to see them in a venue with better acoustics. Oh, and play Devil's Island next time.
Dave Mustaine's dad? A roadie? Both?
[*] Another data point in support of the idea that only concerts that feature someone wearing a cowboy hat unironically can sell out a big venue in Fargo.
I watched The Filth and the Fury on Saturday night, a documentary about the Sex Pistols. A good portion recounted the public outrage over the band and it's [screw] everything mentality. There were calls to ban the group's music, protestors outside their hotels, that sort of thing. It reminded me of the uproar over heavy metal in general and artists like Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica and even Prince in the 1980's (remember the PMRC? Was there ever a time someone in the Gore clan wasn't trying to tell us how to live our lives?).
Before that was Elvis. Remember when it was forbidden to show him on TV from the waist down? I don't, actually, but it happened. Something about his pelvis ruining the moral fabric of America. That fabric appears to be very fragile,: it can be torn by teenagers masturbating!
More recently was outrage over Marilyn Manson, who took the shock antics of Alice Cooper (another target of the morals police) and gave it a 21st century special effects upgrade. We were all assured that his music caused teen pregnancy, devil worship, and school shootings.
(As an aside, isn't it amazing what a musician with a goth aesthetic and a penchance for controversy can accomplish in the field of "getting women ordinarily out of his league"?)
Anyway, after watching the Sex Pistols drink, smoke, wear swastika t-shirts and generally act like jackasses for two hours, I began to wonder who will be the next band to take up the mantle of "destroyer of the moral fabric". Somewhere out there, right now, are a bunch of obnoxious kids practicing in mom's basement. They're going to grow up, write some catchy songs and adopt something, some look, some profane tendency, some public persona, that will convince a sizeable portion of the population that the band will kill America once and for all. That this time it's for real; they'll succeed where Elvis, The Beatles (after they found drugs), Judas Priest, Ozzy, Public Enemy and Marilyn Manson all failed. I can't wait. I just hope it's after all this emo crap dies out.
I remember several years ago playing a new CD I had picked up earlier in the day for some friends, telling them that this "new" band was really cool. I played a song and they both panned it. I took the CD out and that was it. The CD was White Blood Cells, the song was Fell In Love With A Girl and the band was the White Stripes. So, to those people (who shall remain nameless), I say [adopts Cartman voice] ha ha ha ha haaaaa ha, I was right about the White Stripes!
My Zen has played Conquest at least once every day for the last six days, which is more than enough to qualify for this mini-feature. With the number of songs I have, it's not uncommon to hear a specific song less than once a month (understanding that I basically only listen to it while I'm at work). To hear a song every day for almost a week is uncommon.
I love this song because if the Stripes were not one of the biggest bands in the world it would certainly pop up in a Quentin Tarantino movie at some point. Probably in a scene where the heroine is kicking the crap out of the lover that done her wrong with a katana. In other words, in something totally badass.
What this may mean: my Zen is into quirky, offbeat singles featuring mariachi horns.
What else this may mean: since this song also serves as my personal ringtone on Donna's phone, it may mean that I don't call enough.
When i was a kid, i didn't like country music at all. Even now, the country i like comes from bands like drive-by truckers and drag the river rather than shania twain. Relatively speaking, i now find mainstream country to be boring and repetitive. Every now and then, though, i heard a country song growing up that caught my attention.
First, let me say that i can't name another song by the charlie daniels band. Likely this is because country was part and parcel of growing up in the south. You couldn't spit on the sidewalk without hitting cowboy boots or a giant belt buckle. I resisted this, and it was probably my earliest stab at nonconformity. Now it just seems like good sense, considering where country music has gone in the last 25 years.
Georgia, naturally, loved this song. I was no exception. Never had i heard anything quite like it. Without getting too deep, it was a profoundly disturbing song. Every chord sounded like something the devil would play if he were looking for a soul to steal. Doing his best to counter, 'johnny' played a hoedown as though his life depended on it, and it did (or at least his soul). Never mind that he was fiddling against the devil himself; a gold fiddle would sound awful, though that was beside the point. Every note conveyed good against evil. Struggling against satan never sounded so good. Damnation was the penalty for failure. Awesome stuff to a young kid (and still pretty cool today). You have to love this song:
Rainbow was a band that went through lead singers like politicians go through mistresses. I think this was mainly because Ritchie Blackmore (of Deep Purple fame), the driving force behind the band, was patient zero for what would later be named Yngwie Malmsteen Disease, a malady which causes talented guitarists to develop a God complex and piss off their lead singers (as well as everybody else in the band).
Ronnie James Dio gave way to Graham Bonnet, who gave way to Joe Lynn Turner (who would later sing with Yngwie's band before leaving. See? SEE?) who gave way to something called a "Doogie White".
Anyway, lately the ole' Zen has been feeling nostalgic for a time when lead singers wore giant aviator sunglasses, drummers sported wristbands with big spikes that went perfectly with their windbreaker, and feathered hair wasn't a fashion choice, it was the law:
What this might mean: Zen is interested in the dynamics of how a band can survive, and even thrive, after multiple lineup changes while retaining the one piece of the puzzle (Blackmore) who keeps mucking it up in the first place.
What else this might mean: If I made a Halloween costume that combined Bonnet's sunglasses, Blackmore's leftover haircut from Deep Purple, Roger Glover's satin jacket and white tie combo and the wristbands that the drummer stole from Gwar's dressing room, October 31st, 2009 would be the day I took over the world.
Bonus trivia: Russ Ballard wrote this song. If you don't know who that is, Google Bing him. He wrote an awful lot of songs you'll recognize.
Those Geico commericals really piss me off. The ones with the stacks of cash with eyeballs that stare implacably at some helpess diner or dry cleaner patron. Some third party steps in to say, "that's the money you could be saving with Geico!"
Well, it's a pile of cash. It may have eyes but there sure aren't any legs on that monstrosity. Just grab it and put it in the bank. Or buy shoes. Or hey, go for ironic and use it to pay your State Farm premium.
The worst part is the crappy '80's song that plays in the background. Somebody's Watching Me sucks. Always has, always will. So Geico, if you want to fix this broken heap of an ad campaign, take it in new, bizarre directions. Have the money stalk a specific actor-working-for-scale rather than a random bunch of saps.
Show the money following a victim to the bank, the health club, the grocery store. Show him or her in the shower, then pan over to where the money creature is silently staring from the slightly-parted doors of a cabinet. Show those grotesque eyes patiently watching from the foot of the bed while he or she sleeps. Go Alfred Hitchcock with that mother.
And for Jeebus' sake, pick a better song. Here are a couple off the top of my head (both of which could easily suggest plot points in the campaign's paranoia-soaked story arc:
Or, if you're worried about pissing off the fringe right with the devil music:
Def Leppard was one of the greatest rock bands ever. For three albums. Then there were overdoses and amputations and late '80s production values and it was over. But their first three albums, On Through The Night, High -n- Dry, and of course, Pyromania were some of the best rock n roll out there.
So grab your favorite libation and turn up the volume.
Alice In Chains lead singer Layne Staley died from a heroin overdose. He obviously had a very hard time of it dealing with his addiction, as approximately 114% of AiC's songs were about heroin. They alternated between Staley bragging about his use and his ability to control it and his struggling with an addiction that was clearly spiralling out of control.
Anyway, I've heard this song about eight times this week. (Video not embedded because Sony BMG somehow thinks they will lose revenue.)
What it may mean: My mp3 player has been projecting my own fears in an uncertain economy, ennui about my job and my current residence in a down-cycled mood.
I've noticed that my MP3 player tends to get into a groove from time to time and play a certain song way a lot. When I notice it happening I'm going to note it here and see if there's anything to be gleaned from my MP3 player's taste in music.
This week, my MP3 player won't stop playing...
Orange Crush by R.E.M:
What it may mean: My MP3 player is saddened by the use of chemical agents during the Vietnam War.
What else it may mean: It doesn't understand euphemism and is thirsty.
I am ready to hear something new, music wise. I download music sporadically and, to any RIAA agents who may be reading, legally. Whenever I remember a song I haven't heard in awhile or on those days when I don't have my mp3 player and I'm using Pandora and hear something cool, I download.
But lately I've been running out of ideas. My only other current spawning ground is Donna's subscription to Rolling Stone, which is a hollow shell of what it used to be. For me, it hasn't been anything to get excited about in my lifetime, but I acknowlege the import bestowed upon it by all you drugged out hippies in the audience.
So I'm asking for "donations" in the form of music. If you've got a band that just kills or even just a song that you love even if the rest of the band's catalog doesn't do it for you (your own personal one-hit wonders), tell me about it in the comments section.
16 Horsepower is a weird band, and one that is hard to explain exactly what the heck kind of music they play. Started by the son of a Colorado snake church preacher, 16HP officially disbanded in 2005.
Almost everything is rooted in religion, but from a place most happy shiny Christians don't visit very often. God in 16HP's universe is vengeful and likes to bring the pain to evildoers. This attitude lightens as the albums progress, but they still don't sound like anybody else. And the songs have some of the most twisted and devastating lyrics I've ever heard:
I will forgive your wrongs, I am able And for my own I feel great shame I would offer up a brick to the back of your head boy If I was Cain
Each successive 16HP album became a little more radio friendly (but never got within actual shouting distance) before going ultra dark and dirge-y with Folklore. That would be their last studio album, and one that sounds way more like lead singer David Eugene Edwards other project, Woven Hand. I like a little dark and dirge-y, but Woven Hand wallows in it. I much prefer the crazy banjo/accordion/guitar/stand-up bass/single drum/other-stuff-I-don't-know-what-it-is that made up 16 Horsepower's sound.
