This Week in the Decline of the British Empire: Blowing Up Balloons Is An Adult Activity

Under new rules debated and agreed upon by the British government (in concert with the European Union' toy safety directive) have identified a menace to children everywhere: blowing up balloons

Official guidance notes: "For latex balloons there must be a warning that children under eight years must be supervised and broken balloons should be discarded."

A government official, perhaps realizing that he is wasting his life, admitted, "You might say that small children have been blowing up balloons for generations, but not anymore and they will be safer for it". Right. Everyone knows that more children die each year from choking on balloons than the next three causes combined: coloring outside the lines; wearing shoes on the wrong feet; and removing itchy tags from the back of shirts.

At least some people can point out the absurdity, even if they have no power to change it:

Paul Nuttall, a member of the European Parliament's consumer safety committee, said the "kill joy" world of EU officialdom was being ill-equipped to understand the concept of children having fun.

"I would say that this is crackers but I sure children are banned from using them too. EU party poopers should not be telling families how to blow up balloons," said the Ukip MEP.

In other rules, party favors like whistles are to be banned, those things that unroll and make a little noise when you blow on them are to be labelled as unsafe for anyone under 14 years of age, and teddy bears for kids under three must be fully washable.

I'm not making that last paragraph up. They're actually doing this.

This Week in the Decline of the British Empire: Man Arrested on Murder Charges After Stabbing Intruder With His Own Knife

This from the London Daily Mail:

A wealthy family man was arrested on suspicion of murder yesterday after allegedly stabbing a burglar to death with his own knife has been bailed until mid-October.

Businessman Vincent Cooke, 39, was relaxing when he heard a knock at the front door of his detached home.

When he answered he was confronted by two men, at least one armed with a knife, who allegedly threatened him and tried to force their way into the £350,000 house in the Cheshire stockbroker belt.

It's entirely possible that the charge gets dropped. But the fact that he was even arrested speaks volumes about Britain's policy toward robberies and home invasions. That policy is, in a nutshell, that it pays to rob someone because if they fight back, the victims can go to jail.

This Week in the Decline of the British Empire: Passive Overeating?

Remember how passive smoke inhalation (second-hand smoke) kills billions each year? Me neither. But while the exact effects are in dispute, there's no denying that the theory behind the delivery system is sound: someone smoking near you exhales smoke and you inhale it.

Does the same thing work for eating? Well, obviously not. I mean, what kind of...

The journal carries four new research papers by academics in the UK, US and Australia on what is termed "the global obesity pandemic", charting its causes, implications, likely progression and the ways it could be reversed...

Swinburn's paper comes up with a clear primary culprit: a powerful global food industry "which is producing more processed, affordable, and effectively-marketed food than ever before".

He said an "increased supply of cheap, palatable, energy-dense foods", coupled with better distribution and marketing, had led to "passive overconsumption".

The nanny-statism going on in the UK right now makes the American version look like child neglect. British politicians and social scientists need to sit down, light up, and have a good long listen to The Wall.

(Guardian link via NRO)

This Week In the Decline of the British Empire: Squatter's Rights

I posted several links in the past to unbelievable news stories out of the United Kingdom highlighting the absolutely batshit crazy path our favorite cousins are traveling down. It happens enough that I'm going to start a new category of posts, called This Week in the Decline of the British Empire. For the unaugural installment, I give you this item detailing the travails of a man whose home has been invaded by squatters.

"Neighbours said the property had just been sold when the 12 squatters broke in during the early hours of the morning after a window was forced open.

Since then there has been more damage and endless parties – several of which have culminated in the police being called."

Now, you might think this would be a simple matter of calling the police. Not in the U.K. In the U.K., these squatters have rights. They include free legal representation.

"Mr Hamilton-Brown, 36, applied to the county court last week to seek an interim possession order to enable him to claim the house back.

He did not hire a solicitor because of the expense.

But when he arrived at Clerkenwell and Shoreditch County Court, in East London, he was amazed to find that two of the squatters had been granted legal aid and were represented by a duty solicitor.

Because they were EU citizens and unemployed, they qualified for free legal representation."

Yay! To pour a truckload of salt into the eyes of common decency and conventional wisdom, the squatters posted a sign on the residence to remind everyone just who is in charge (hint: it isn't they guy who pays taxes and owns the house).

"A legal notice put in the front window by the squatters states that anybody who enters without their permission could face six months in jail and a £5,000 fine.

A neighbour said: ‘They have more rights than we do."

So it seems. Enjoy oblivion, England!