Pocket Jacks

As "Real Journalism" Dies, Have Real Journalists Stopped Caring?

2012-01-27T08:40:00.000-06:00

I have a pet theory I'm kicking around. It goes like this: as traditional news media declines and the war between "real journalists" and serious news bloggers (note: I am not one of these) who, while not offically working for a news outlet, nevertheless function as journalists begins to tilt to the side wearing the pajamas, traditional news suffer a loss of prestige.

That slide results in a drop in quality on three fronts: first, less people are eager to be identified with traditional journalism. After all, who volunteers to associate with a dying endeavor?

Second, those who do decide to go the traditional media route are less skilled and/or professional.

Third, those already established in the media either try to get out, or at the least stop caring about it.

I have no idea which of those categories applies to David Adams of Reuters, since, as I am not a journalist, I don't have to go research Mr. Adams' background to figure out when he graduated college. However, it's pretty clear that whichever bucket he falls into, he is a data point in favor of my theory.

Oh No, That Evil Republican Is Paying Exactly As Much In Taxes As He Is Legally Obligated To!

2012-01-26T13:25:00.002-06:00

In the latest installment of The Media Is Trying To Make Me Like Someone Despite My Best Efforts (see previously: Sarah Palin), the gnashing and fainting surrounding the "revelation" that Mitt Romney's tax burden hovers near the 15% range is making me defend the guy behind the inspiration for some of the worst legislation of my lifetime.

Note that no one is claiming that Romney is a tax cheat (which, apparently is not a big deal these days). No, the complaints revolve around the nebulous rallying cry from 2011 that refused to die: he's not paying his fair share! A quick aside: who gets to determine what is fair? Will you be comfortable with that answer when the person or entity wielding the power doesn't share your political views?

Romney pays around 15% in income tax because most of his income is derived from sources that are taxed in the tax code at 15%. So what is the problem with that? Is it that capital gains should be taxed at a high rate? If you immediately answered yes, I bet you don't own any stock. That's too bad; when the economy is tanking it's generally a good time to invest, assuming you can stay in for the long haul. But enthusiastically wanting to raise taxes as long as they don't affect you personally is just so selfish. I can't believe a good liberal would ever be for it. And no self-respecting conservative would push for higher capital gains taxes, so...

Is the problem that Romney has too much money? To which I respond, how much money you make is irrelevant. The only way the amount of a person's wealth could be relevant is if wealth is a zero-sum game. Which frankly, I think a lot of people on the left seem to think. I have bad news for your worldview: this guy having more money doesn't mean that guy has to have less. This should be obvious, but for many it is not. Look at it this way: if wealth was a zero-sum game it would be a true statement that the world is exactly as wealthy now as it was 1000 years ago. Do you think that is a true statement? No, you don’t. So why would anyone make the argument that someone else has too much money? (Note: I could have just as easily used 100 years ago above, but I wanted to invoke that image of civilization at a point where the hot new invention was a bar of soap.)

Okay then, is the problem that Romney is "gaming the system", deliberately structuring his income so that his tax burden is as small as possible? Raise your hand if you don't do the same thing. That's what I thought. I have yet to meet anyone go out of their way to structure their finances with the goal of paying more taxes. That includes Warren Buffett.

Another aside: you should read the whole article at that link. One, because it hilariously talks about Buffet being ready to "take the Republicans tax challenge" by matching any checks Republicans write to the treasury while simultaneously ignoring the fact that the challenge was for Buffet to write his own check. The article tries to twist things around and make it seem like Republicans -- who don't want taxes raised -- should voluntarily write a check in order to not seem like hypocrites while Buffett -- who wants taxes raised -- is a hero for not writing one. The other reason you should read the article is that it's Time, and your last chance to read it could come any day now. (Sorry Canada, you had your chance.)

Back to the whole tax avoidance thing: do people have a duty to pay as much in taxes as they can, or does this moral burden only fall on certain people? People who, say, make "too much money"? If you believe that, then you should be all over people like Warren Buffet, who as we already know, is outraged -- outraged! -- about how little he pays in taxes. Not outraged enough to write that check to the treasury, but you know, outraged!

So, just to be clear: Romney hasn't done anything illegal. He hasn't done anything morally wrong. So just what is the problem here? Besides, you know, Romney having an 'R' after his name.

You Realize, Of Course, That Today's Environmental Movement Would Kill The Computer Revolution

2012-01-19T10:34:00.001-06:00

Glenn Reynolds had a link this morning to a deal on a 32GB flash card and reader. Along with the link he did some reminiscing about days gone by. He later updated the post with a reader comment:

"Heck, I remember when punch cards were hi tech. It would take a stack of cards 47 miles high to store 32GB. That’s a lot of trees.”

That is a lot of trees. Which made me realize something:

If computers didn't exist in 2012, would they ever? If an inventor (a latent Charles Babbage, say) came along now and proposed a machine that could do calculations at a heretofore unheard of speed and all that was needed was lots and lots of wood to make punch cards, would environmentalists sit still for it? Would a president as firmly in the pocket of those same environmentalists support it?

Not Long Ago I Had To Kill Zombies On a 32", Non-HD Television

2012-01-17T12:38:00.001-06:00

A couple of years ago I began floating the idea to my lovely wife of ditching the dish and getting in with the hip crowd, who use these fancy new gadgets called computers for their entertainment needs. I wanted to get rid of the dish, get cable internet service (which is the best I've been able to find in the area), and rely on Netflix, Hulu and network websites that allow you to watch their shows online.

Donna was hesitant at first, not because she didn't believe computers existed, but because she worried that she wouldn't be able to see all her shows. Pish posh, I explained.

One thing we could agree on however, was that our internet sucked. Our provider, Eye Thirty Minus One* was slow and unreliable. So we made the decision to get rid of our dish and sign up with Cable One, the only cable provider Fargo will ever need, which is a good thing because they are a monopoly. Their televison sucks, with a DVR user interface that hasn't been upgraded since, I don't know, 1954?

It can't do basic things like group multiple episodes of the same show together in a folder, or remember which user's guide was last accessed (meaning you have to repeatedly push the Guide button to get back to your menu every time you access it). There's no preloaded guide that is smart enough to know which channels you subscribe to. It's all very 51/4" floppy. That said, I'd rather have great internet and so-so TV than the other way around.

Especially when, as Christmas 2011 approached, we made the decision to join the 21st century and get a flat screen TV for the living room. A nice 46" Samsung LED SmartTV looks really great. You haven't fought to survive
the zombie apocalypse until you've done it on a giant HDTV.

I then I did some research and found a compact little PC that was all wired and ready to be an entertainment hub. Waiting until after Christmas was a smart idea, as I got it for less than $400 and it included free 2-day shipping.

So we now have a state-of-the-art television with a PC attached for watching movies and TV shows we can't get on cable, an XBox 360 for killing zombies in HD, and a Wii for, well, we have a Wii. We may never have to leave the house again.

*Names have been transparently changed to protect the crappy.

Dinner and Drinks: Crockpot Chili

2011-11-14T21:09:00.000-06:00

When the weather starts to cool off in the fall, our thoughts usually turn to outdoor projects we try to avoid in the heat of summer. Recently we realized we couldn't put off raking leaves any longer and so, on a cool (~55°F) Saturday we filled bags (and bags and bags) full of leaves. And for good measure, I cleaned the gutters.

Thankfully I had the foresight to chill some beer in the fridge and start some chili in the crockpot before we went outside. There's nothing better than coming inside after a long day of working in the yard to a house that smells like a chili truck exploded. Except maybe knowing the fridge is full of cold beer.

Crockpot Chili

1 lb ground beef
1 large can of red or black beans
6 oz of tomato paste (one of those little cans)
32 oz can of tomato sauce
14 oz can of diced tomatoes
1/2 a large onion (diced)
2 cloves of garlic (minced)
4 tbsp chili powder
2 tsp salt (divided)
1 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp white pepper

If you can get good fresh tomatoes, by all means use them. Donna's parents can them so we get fresh stuff year round. But a crockpot can cover a lot of sins, and canned tomato sauce is one of them.

The trick to good crockpot chili is to hold off on adding the hamburger until you plan to eat. If you've ever put hamburger in a crockpot and let it slow cook, you've undoubtedly noticed that it tastes... wrong. The texture gets all mushy and that's no good.

So, set the hamburger, allspice, black and white pepper, and half the salt aside. Everything else goes into the crockpot on high for one hour. (Remember to drain the excess liquid from the beans. No one wants bean juice in the chili.) Then turn it to low and forget about it. Well, you can stir it once in awhile if you want. Maybe gaze at it longingly while you drink beer. Not that I would do that.

Let it slow cook for at least 6 hours. The longer it cooks the better. When you can't stand to wait any longer, brown the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat. Season with all those spices you held in reserve. Add the ground beef to the crockpot and stir. Then crack a beer and enjoy.

Speaking of beer, on the crisp autumn evening I enjoyed a (okay several) Sam Adams Black Lager. I'm not a huge Sam Adams fan to be honest, but the black lager has a nice balance of maltiness and lightness. It's a beer you can chug a little after a day of toiling in the yard but still has a little bit of heft to it.

Macy's First Orchestra Concert

2011-11-06T17:35:00.000-06:00

Macy has recently taken up the violin as part of her school's orchestra program. She recently had her first recital at the Festival Concert Hall on the campus of North Dakota State University.

Fifth graders from all the Moorhead elementary schools participated. Most of the songs were played utilizing the pizzicato technique (they've only been playing for a few weeks).

They had a dress rehearsal just before the performance, and their teacher was confident enough in their abilities to let them conclude the concert with this:

So far, Macy seems to really enjoy playing. She practices five nights a week. It would be pretty cool to have a violin player in the family.

Worst Comment of the Day: Not Understanding How Free Markets Work Edition

2011-10-26T12:18:00.000-05:00

Consumerist has an article up about the lack of competition in the healthcare markets in various major cities. The commenters at the website are generally liberal, based on the comments that show up whenever politics can be injected into the conversation (which is way more often than one would think). And if there's one thing liberal commenters like to do, it's misunderstand how free markets are supposed to work.

According to the article:

The AMA study looked at commercial health insurance market shares and federal concentration measures for 368 metropolitan markets and 48 states and found the following:

*A significant absence of health insurer competition exists in 83 percent of metropolitan markets studied by the AMA.

Now, if you've ever studied the way insurance regulation works, you most likely would never write the following:

So much for capatalism and free-markets working their magic here.

Running a business so well that you can buy up all your competition is perfectly fine if your business is, say, beer. Not so much when your business is catagorically denying medical care claims to people while still increasing their premiums every year.

Something called crispyduck13 don't need no stinkin' research, however.

What crispyjackass13 doesn't know is that regulation helps to kill competition in the insurance market. Insurance companies aren't allowed to sell policies across state lines. Which means that if a New York insurance company wants to sell policies in North Dakota, it has to incorporate there. Some companies are big enough to do this (mostly the old players -- this is why there is a Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota and a BCBS of Washington, and so on).

Add to that the twisted system we have that ties health insurance coverage to employers, where the large companies can afford to undercut local suppliers' premiums (because they can spread the cost around) and you have a perfect breeding ground for undercompetition (if not outright monopolies).

All regulations are not bad, and no one I know has ever said such a thing. But the converse is also true: all regulations are not good. The word deregulation has taken on mystical properties that somehow make it sound to certain people like no regulations, ever. Regulation is supposed to provide a level playing field where companies can compete on things like services and cost. Current healthcare regulations are designed to throw up roadblocks to competition. Healthcare costs go up as a result.

This is what I wrote back in 2009:

First, end employer-based healthcare as it currently exists. I say this as the recipient of what may be the best employer health plan in America. I don't pay for jack. My daughter was on antibiotics for almost two years as an infant due to a medical condition that couldn't be corrected until she was two. I never paid a dime. Pharmacists used to run my insurance information multiple times because they thought it was a mistake that the amount due kept coming back zero. No co-pay, no deductible. My daughter ended up needing two week-long hospital stays, one of which included the surgery. Out of pocket I paid zero. I tell you this not to brag, but to show you that what I am advocating would cost me some kick-ass coverage.

The downside to this is that I am disconnected from the cost of healthcare. My decision to go to the doctor is not based on whether I really need to go. My employer picks up the tab, so why not go? Maybe I'll score some percodan for my acute back pain! In all seriousness, I don't go to the doctor for every little thing. However, it's more a function of stubborness and having better things to do with my time. The reason I don't go unless I really need to should be that I don't want to waste money or file an insurance claim that could negatively affect my rate for something trivial.

Right now companies use healthcare as a benefit. The coverage comes in lieu of more pay. I advocate companies paying more in direct compensation, allowing the employee to use that money to purchase their own coverage. This has the benefit of letting the individual make decisions about their healthcare based on direct knowledge of the cost. No more going to the emergency room because you have the snifles. Now you would have to decide for yourself if you want to spend the money on elective visits. You'd pay your own premiums and make decisions accordingly. Right now people with coverage like mine go to the doctor for all sorts of minor things that normally would handled through rest and over the counter medicines. Why not? The company's paying for it. When healthcare is "free" for everyone you can expect the same mindset on a national scale.

This would also address another problem. Right now, insurance companies bend over backwards to make companies happy. They work with hospitals to get reduced rates on procedures, office visits, and prescriptions because the company represents huge numbers of insured. Think of it like a bulk discount on health care. Those costs get made up somewhere. In this case, "somewhere" is a town populated by individuals who buy health insurance without the benefit of a corporation negotiating on their behalf. If health insurers were competing for individuals instead of companies, the same forces that exist virtually everywhere else in the marketplace would take hold.

You want cheaper healthcare costs?

Step 1: Decouple healthcare from employers. Let consumers get a feel for how much healthcare actually costs.

Step 2: Let insurance companies compete like any other business; meaning, under regulations that only level the playing field and ensure fair competition.

Marriage Urban Legend Still Persists

2011-10-20T11:15:00.002-05:00

I read Dan Savage's column at the Onion AV Club every Wednesday. I do this because I think it's funny. I overlook his complete aversion to all things illiberal and his clear disdain for traditional one-man-one-woman monogamy. He's funny and unserious in a way that someone, like, say, Slate's Dear Prudence is not. Seriously, Slate, tell that woman to stop trying to be funny.

But while I can roll my eyes at Savage's unprovoked attacks on religion, Conservatism and monogamy, I had to refrain from firing off an email when I read his column this week. I'm a bit surprised that someone who considers themself as smart and savvy as Savage is still repeating this fallacy in 2011:

Half of all opposite-sex marriages end in divorce, TSBM, which makes it pretty easy to deflect arguments about a gay divorce somehow proving that same-sexers aren’t worthy. And divorce—access to the courts to divide up joint property, work out custody arrangements, determine spousal support, etc.—is one of the important rights that comes with marriage.

Oh, I should mention that Savage's column is not for the easily offended or those who like their sex vanilla and their gays in Paree in the 1880's. I guess this paragraph should have come earlier. Oops.

Anyway, the idea that half of all marriages end in divorce is an urban legend that grew from a misinterpreted study during the "divorce boom" of the 1970's. That's the time when "no-fault" divorce came into vogue and divorces became much easier to get. The numbers did spike after the rules were eased, but nowhere near the point where "half of all marriages end in divorce".

How did it come about? Well, it turns out that it's another case of schools spending too much time teaching about recycling and self-esteem instead of something useful, like statistics or basic critical thinking.

If you look at the statistics from a given year, there are years where the number of divorces is about half of the number of marriages. That's a 50% divorce rate, right? Wrong. Put the reusable grocery bag down and pay attention for a second.

Warning: made-up statistics for illutrative purposes ahead.

Let's say that in 2010 there were two million marriages. Also in 2010 let's say there were one million divorces granted. Does this mean:

A. half of marriages ended in divorce
B. half of marriages that took place in 2010 ended in divorce
C. neither a nor b is correct, but divorce lawyers probably made out all right.

The answer is C. If you have normal levels of self esteem you probably already see why. But if your sense of self-worth has been inflated to unhealthy levels by your years in the public school system -- time that would have been better spent on math -- I will spell it out for you.

The numbers in any given year do not take into account that there are already tens of millions of married couples in the US. The only way that two million marriages in 2010 + one million divorces in 2010 equals a 50% divorce rate is if the total number of married couples before 2010 was zero.

Furthermore, the only way that two million marriages in 2010 + one million divorces in 2010 equals a 50% divorce rate for marriages that took place in 2010 is if all the divorces were filed by couples married in 2010. In other words, any married couples that existed prior to 2010 all stayed happily married while only those couples married in 2010 were represented by divorce lawyers.

Is that possible? Sure, I guess. It's possible you'll get pinned beneath a meteorite only to be saved when that meteroite gets split by a lightning strike, revealing a winning powerball ticket that was embedded in the meteorite. That's not likely.

Anyway, the next time you read that "half of all marriages end in divorce" point and laugh, but don't believe it.

Update: I got asked on Facebook what I thought the real rate was. I answered the question with some off-the-cuff research, but I thought I'd update this post as well for posterity's sake.

You'd think this would be an easy question to answer, and it sort of was. Not in the "type 'what's the real divorce rate' into a search and engine and be done" sort of way, but I was able to piece together and answer.

From this article I was able to get the latest census claims that 48% of households in the US are married couples.

From here I was able to determine that in 2010 the census says there were 114,825,428 households in the US.

Simple math tells me that ‎48% of 114,825,428 = 55,116,205 married couples.

According to the CDC (apparently taking a break from finding a cure to the zombie apocalypse), there were over 2 million marriages a year each year from 2000 to 2009 and between 800,000 and 955,000 divorces over the same period.

Since we're comparing 2010 households with 2009 (and earlier) marriage and divorce data, I'll use numbers that are both plausible and err to the side of making my case seem worse off: the low end of the marriage scale (2 million marriages) and the upper bound of the divorce scale, plus a little to make it round (1 million divorces).

55,116,205 + 2 million marriages = 57,116,205 married couples. Divide that into the 1 million divorces, and you get roughly 1.8% as a divorce rate, which is a far cry from "50% if all marriages end in divorce".

(Thanks to truthorfiction.com for some of the background information in this post.)

Dinner And Drinks: Grilled Scallops

2011-10-15T16:39:00.000-05:00

I stopped at the local butcher shop early in the week and couldn't help myself when I saw some sea scallops the size of marshmallows. I saved them for Friday night when I could pair it up with some fresh steak. The grocery store where I buy steaks has better meat than the butcher (which I would not have expected but is true nonetheless). Unfortunately, they didn't have my favorite cut -- the bone-in ribeye -- so I picked out a couple of nice New York Strips and called it good.

Then it was time to open a bottle of wine and fire up the grill.

Sea Scallops (with a side of steak)

Sea scallops
lemon juice

salt
pepper
chili powder
tarragon
garlic powder

First, pat the scallops with a paper towel to get rid of any excess moisture.

I mix the dry spices in a small bowl. To be honest, I don't have measurements for this because I eyeball it all the way. Basically, use your best judgement. Dip each end of the scallops in the mix and put on the grill. Press down for a second or so. You want to get a good sear. Drip a few drops of lemon juice on each one. The juice should work its way into the crevices of the scallop.

It doesn't take long to cook a scallop; a minute on a hot grill is enough. Flip them over and give them a quick press with your spatula. After another minute, take them off. That's it.

Garlic mashed potatoes go great with scallops, but since I had just made those a couple nights ago I went with angel hair pasta. Once the pasta is done, toss it with some butter and oregano. Trust me.

While I was doing this I was thoroughly enjoying a 2008 Antigal Uno malbec that was given as part of a wedding gift by my good friends Sunny and Kris. It was a really subtle but powerful wine with a lot of oaky undertones. Really good wine. Thanks, guys!

Fall Soccer Ends Just Before It Gets Really Cold

2011-10-15T16:03:00.000-05:00

My fifth grade girls finished the fall season today. Due to a front office snafu, Fargo teams combined 5th and 6th grade while Moorhead did not. This meant that my girls played against girls a year older (and two of the teams had only 6th graders).

I had another good group of girls who were eager to learn and worked hard, which is what makes coaching fun. We don't keep score or track wins and losses, but as always the girls do. We went 2-4 and lost one of the games by a single goal. Not bad for playing against older competition.

Like I said, the girls were great and I hope I see all of them next spring.

This Week in the Decline of the British Empire: Blowing Up Balloons Is An Adult Activity

2011-10-13T11:50:00.000-05:00

Under new rules debated and agreed upon by the British government (in concert with the European Union' toy safety directive) have identified a menace to children everywhere: blowing up balloons

Official guidance notes: "For latex balloons there must be a warning that children under eight years must be supervised and broken balloons should be discarded."

A government official, perhaps realizing that he is wasting his life, admitted, "You might say that small children have been blowing up balloons for generations, but not anymore and they will be safer for it". Right. Everyone knows that more children die each year from choking on balloons than the next three causes combined: coloring outside the lines; wearing shoes on the wrong feet; and removing itchy tags from the back of shirts.

At least some people can point out the absurdity, even if they have no power to change it:

Paul Nuttall, a member of the European Parliament's consumer safety committee, said the "kill joy" world of EU officialdom was being ill-equipped to understand the concept of children having fun.

"I would say that this is crackers but I sure children are banned from using them too. EU party poopers should not be telling families how to blow up balloons," said the Ukip MEP.

In other rules, party favors like whistles are to be banned, those things that unroll and make a little noise when you blow on them are to be labelled as unsafe for anyone under 14 years of age, and teddy bears for kids under three must be fully washable.

I'm not making that last paragraph up. They're actually doing this.

Blogging in the Key of Nerd: Accessing the GAC Through File Explorer

2011-10-04T08:10:00.000-05:00

This is an old one, but it's served me well over the years. Have you ever wished you could dive into the GAC and see what was in there, maybe drop in some rebuilt assemblies or even debug with those assemblies?

There's actually as simple way to do this. All you're really doing is mapping a drive to the super-secret bunker that is the assembly cache. From a command line, use the subst command:

subst [drive letter]: %windir%\assembly

I use drive letter G: (for GAC, duh!). Once you run this command you can Run > g: and a file explorer window will open on the wonderful world of the GAC. You get all its greatest hits: GAC; GAC_32; GAC_64; and of course, GAC_MSIL.

I would highly recommend backing up the files that are already there, however.

Wedding Diaries: Pictures

2011-09-27T07:26:00.002-05:00

I'll update this post with interesting pictures as I get them. As always, click to enlarge...

UPDATE: Here are a few courtesy of Rob Wagner:

This first batch is courtesy of Tim Nolan:

Wedding Diaries: The Final Report

2011-09-26T19:08:00.000-05:00

The big day has come and gone. Everything went incredibly well, far better than we had any right to expect. The weather was perfect. There weren't any glitches worth mentioning. The food was great. The cake was incredible. The guys looked sharp and the gals looked amazing. The band rocked the roof off the place. It was perfect.

Things started on Thursday with rehearsal and dinner. We picked Grazie's in Fargo, an Italian place. The food was wonderful and even my brother Andy -- who isn't high on Italian -- was impressed.

My niece Aubrey.

The meeting of the Winkis and Marshall clans. It is hoped
our union will bring an end to decades of war.

OFF THE MARKET

Friday was bachelor's and bachelorette's night out. Not together because that would defeat the purpose. The ladies went out for Mexican food while the boys went out for steaks. A huge sigh of relief came out of me when my ribeye at Redford's (formerly Norman's, home of the Best Steak I've Ever Had) lived up to the standard I've come to expect. Afterwards we went to a Buffalo Wild Wings near the hotel, one because it was close and, two because I wanted to see the manager. He bought us a round so, yeah, be sure to book BWW as your liquor caterer at you next event. Yes, I am a cheap whore. The ladies showed up and no one at all made any inappropriate remarks or did anything embarrassing so there's no need to talk about it anymore.

Saturday I actually coached MJ's soccer game. I know, I know. But I had no responsibilities until 1:00 and the game was at 9:00 AM. The family got to watch MJ play. She scored the first goal of the match and Team America won 3-2, so that was pretty perfect.

Donna had bride things to do, so MJ and I grabbed lunch and headed out to the venue. With pictures at 3:00 I began hoping that someone would show up soon with a six-pack but it was not to be. We had only one minor glitch: we didn't have MJ's bridesmaid dress. Luckily Donna's brother Ryan was volunteered to be her errand boy, so he fixed that issue.

Pictures/dressing/waiting.etc....

Donna and I are not traditional wedding types. With that in mind, we wanted the ceremony to be short and too the point. The kids marched in, Donna came down the path, the officiant said some things, we said some things, there were rings involved, someone tolled a bell, then we got the hell out of there and started to party. It was exactly what we wanted. The guy running the music and sound told me it was by far a record for shortest ceremony at their venue. I told him that I didn't want to know if anyone ever broke it.

I have some good news and some bad news. What's that? You want the good news first? Okay. The good news is that we hired Dave at Milestones Photography to do the pictures. He's the best there is at what he does, so our pictures will be amazing when we get them.

The bad news is that Shanna, a friend of Donna's, agreed to use our little point and shoot throughout the night to get us some candids. Well, that's not the bad news. The bad news is that neither of the batteries I had for that camera would hold a charge. Of course, I found this out after the wedding, so I don't really have anything to share at the moment. I've put out a call to friends and family to send all photos, but as of right this moment, I have no visual evidence that this event ever happened.

No photographic evidence anyway. I also brought my little video camera. My friend Tim did an excellent job filming the ceremony and getting some candid shots of the aftermath:

Then, of course, there was the big surprise for Donna at the reception. A special guest vocalist came to honor her with song. We had a band made up of Microsoft employees who worked incredibly hard to put on a great show for us (which they did). The twist was that the band would allow anyone to come up and sing any song in the set list. It was basically karaoke with a live band. Imagine Donna's surprise when this happened:

All in all it was tons of fun and exactly what Donna and I wanted. Quick ceremony, great food, all our friends together, a live band playing anything except traditional wedding music, and a reception that was more party than wedding dance. One of the most fun nights I've ever had.

This Week in the Decline of the British Empire: Man Arrested on Murder Charges After Stabbing Intruder With His Own Knife

2011-09-19T12:23:00.000-05:00

This from the London Daily Mail:

A wealthy family man was arrested on suspicion of murder yesterday after allegedly stabbing a burglar to death with his own knife has been bailed until mid-October.

Businessman Vincent Cooke, 39, was relaxing when he heard a knock at the front door of his detached home.

When he answered he was confronted by two men, at least one armed with a knife, who allegedly threatened him and tried to force their way into the £350,000 house in the Cheshire stockbroker belt.

It's entirely possible that the charge gets dropped. But the fact that he was even arrested speaks volumes about Britain's policy toward robberies and home invasions. That policy is, in a nutshell, that it pays to rob someone because if they fight back, the victims can go to jail.

Dinner and Drinks: Cornbread

2011-09-05T19:35:00.000-05:00

All southerners eat cornbread. It's codified in all southern state laws along with owning guns and listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd. Cornbread is great because it goes with so many things and is so easy to make.

That said, there are a millions different ways to make cornbread, and aficionados generally fall into two camps: dry or sweet. Let the proclamation ring forth this day that I am firmly in the dry camp. Cornbread should be dry and crumbly and have a texture reminicent of... well that's the thing. If you make it right, the texture is unlike anything else. If you want it sweet and cake-like, stop reading.

Cornbread

1 1/2 cups yellow cornmeal
1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
2 tbsp canola oil
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
margarine

Preheat the oven to 450°.

Grease a 10" baking pan with margarine. Mix the remaining ingredients in a bowl and whisk vigorously for thirty seconds. Pour the mixture into the pan. Bake in the oven until cooked all the way through (I use the old toothpick method), about 30-35 minutes.

As for cocktails, I made this as a side for my jambalaya (yeah, I eat a lot of that). That means a bottle (or three) of you favorite beer. You may remember that I like my jamabalaya hot.

This Week in the Decline of the British Empire: Passive Overeating?

2011-09-01T08:06:00.000-05:00

Remember how passive smoke inhalation (second-hand smoke) kills billions each year? Me neither. But while the exact effects are in dispute, there's no denying that the theory behind the delivery system is sound: someone smoking near you exhales smoke and you inhale it.

Does the same thing work for eating? Well, obviously not. I mean, what kind of...

The journal carries four new research papers by academics in the UK, US and Australia on what is termed "the global obesity pandemic", charting its causes, implications, likely progression and the ways it could be reversed...

Swinburn's paper comes up with a clear primary culprit: a powerful global food industry "which is producing more processed, affordable, and effectively-marketed food than ever before".

He said an "increased supply of cheap, palatable, energy-dense foods", coupled with better distribution and marketing, had led to "passive overconsumption".

The nanny-statism going on in the UK right now makes the American version look like child neglect. British politicians and social scientists need to sit down, light up, and have a good long listen to The Wall.

(Guardian link via NRO)

For Once, The Camping Curse Left Me Alone

2011-08-31T21:30:00.000-05:00

There will be blood.

Every year we go camping and every year there's a theme that emerges. Once it was angering the rain gods. Another time it involved massive blood loss. Last year it was reverse Arbor Day. So what horrible fate awaited us this year? Locusts? Fire? A chunk of the International Space Station crushing our tent?

In the end it turned out involve lots of bicycle crashes. For one, however, the curse missed me and instead splashed all over loved ones. First, MJ wiped out in some loose dirt at the campground. Thirty-four bandaids later and she was back up and riding. No broken bones or sprains, thank goodness.

The next day we went to Itasca State Park to go biking on the extensive trails there. Unfortunately, we weren't done with crashes; Donna wiped out on a hill. She escaped relatively unscathed except for a really nice scrape on her elbow. Her first thought of course was will this heal before the wedding? It will.

Other than all the mangled flesh and machinery, the weekend went really well. We had about 45 seconds of very light rain. Other than that it was perfect camping weather. We ate some food, drank some beer, stanched some wounds. It was great. I just wonder if, since the curse left me alone this year, does it mean I'm free or I get it double next year? Shudder.

During a break at Itasca.

MJ, Emily and Carly crossing the Mighty Mississippi.

A wooden walkway running parallel
to the Mississippi headwaters.

Keep Your Stupid Wine, Pennsylvania

2011-08-31T09:15:00.000-05:00

Reason asks the question, "how does a wine monopoly lose money" when examining the Pennsylvania state liquor control board's plan to sell wine at kiosks in various stores (mainly grocery stores and retailers like Wal-Mart).

"...the kiosks dispense a limited selection of wines at limited locations and times (not on Sunday, of course!) to customers who present ID, look into a camera monitored by a state employee, breathe into a blood-alcohol meter, and swipe a credit card. The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board (PLCB) originally expected to have 100 kiosks in grocery stores throughout the state, each selling 30 to 50 bottles a day. But only 32 machines were ever up and running at one time, and only 15 manged to hit the bottom end of that sales target. In June the Wegmans supermarket chain withdrewfrom the kiosk program, bringing the total number of machines down to 22."

So, let a state employee spy on you through a vending machine, swipe an ID card, and take a field sobriety test just to buy a bottle of wine, or go next door to the liquor store that every grocery store seems to have attached these days. Tough choice, let me see... the wine is cheaper in the kiosks, though, right?

"The committee also worried that the lone bidder, Simple Brands (I shit you not) of Conshohocken, was vague about the fees it might be charging, did not respond to repeated requests for information, and 'continued to change its business plan 'on the fly' as the Committee has broached operational issues and concerns.'"

Okay, but at least since this is contracted out to a private company, the taxpayers (some of whom don't drink -- think if this involved cigarette machines instead of booze) aren't on the hook for anything, right?

"The PLCB says the company owes the state the money it has lost so far; the company disagrees. "

Wow.

The Next Guitar I Buy Will Be A Gibson...

2011-08-30T07:54:00.002-05:00

...if Gibson is still around. In what may be yet another case of the Obama adminstration trying to bully businesses it doesn't like, the feds raided Gibson's facilities in Tennessee over some wood (I'm not kidding).
What makes this possibly politically motivated? Well look at who gives money to whom:

It has come out that Juszkiewicz is a Republican donor, while the CEO of one of his principal competitors, C.F. Martin & Company, is a Democratic donor. Martin reportedly uses the same wood, but DOJ hasn’t raided them, leading to speculation that the Obama administration is sending a warning to Republican businessmen that they had better not oppose his re-election, lest they face criminal investigations.

Funny how that works out. If there isn't a political component to it, it sure looks like there is. Complicating matters is that a certain high-profile dignitary once gifted a Gibson to a foreign counterpart. Wonder if the investigation will extend that far. Nah, probably not.

All this sort of thing does is make me want to spend my money on a Gibson the next time I'm in the market for a guitar.

Does Everything Have To Be Political?

2011-08-28T15:36:00.001-05:00

ESPN long ago went down the same dark, brimstone-paved road that MTV blazed back around the time it decided that music videos were yesterday's news. The sports network -- +1 million internet points if you even know what "ESPN" stood for when it launched -- used to be a nice little channel where you could see sports highlights and live events that centered around Australian Rules Football. It was the Little Network That Could.

Then it got too big and bloated and began breeding networks (did you know there are currently seven networks in the ESPN family, and that only includes the non-internet stuff?) like the last two rabbits on Earth. It started with forays into "serious journalism" as the network made a play for the prestige ostensibly enjoyed by "real" networks. Outside the Lines, The Sports Reporters; these were efforts by ESPN to gain credibility as more than a place for jocks to get their sports fix.

At the same time, ESPN went after various other audiences; it tried to woo the teen demographic by trying to singlehandedly elevate skateboarding, motocross, snowboarding, and other "X-Games" to the status of "real sports" among mainstream America. It went after the fantasy crowd by running stories about how Stephen Strasburg's Tommy John surgery would affect your fantasy rotation. Sure, that he would miss the pro season was news, but so was how that would affect draft strategies for rotissiere leagues. It shows Little League games. College softball. Scrabble. It wants to be everything to every sports fan.

Which makes it more than a little odd that it would jeopardize that in the name of politics, of all things. Why ESPN (or any network that wasn't involved in, you know, politics) would start wearing its politics on its sleeve is beyond me. What possible reason could the network have for announcing to the world that it leans one way or the other when it comes to something so unsporting as politics? Hubris, I guess. ESPN considers itself so big and untouchable that there will never be repercussions for its actions. Or maybe they just think sports fans won't care.

I care though, and when I see that ESPN has begun picking forks in the road of partisanship -- a road it never needed to go down in the first place -- I have to shake my head and wonder why. Oh, and begin to wonder if I need to go elsewhere for my sports.

Democracy, Wisconsin Style

2011-08-24T10:15:00.000-05:00

Over at Say Anything, Rob has a post about a "Democracy Convention" being organized in Wisconsin to, in the words of the organizer, "... help people move back toward a more democratic country where the people have more say". I see. So all those elections where people voted weren't giving the people their say. The recall elections weren't giving people their say. Gotcha.

I have received from a covert operator some simple flow charts being used by the Convention to explain to new members how this whole "giving people their say" thing should work. Let's take a look:

Well, this certainly explains a lot.

Dinner and Drinks: Greek Pizza

2011-08-20T21:42:00.000-05:00

Greek pizza is basically the Mediterranean version of lavash. There's no sauce, so the toppings you add really have to carry the day. It's great as either a main dish or as an appetizer

Greek Pizza

3 x 6-7" diamater pita bread (or one large)
1 yellow or orange bell pepper (cut into rings)
4 roma tomatoes (cut into thin slices)
1/4 bacon or prosciutto (sliced thin)
2 cloves of garlic (sliced thin)
1/2 cup spinach (chiffonaded)
1 cup combined of asiago, parmesan and romano cheese
olive oil
salt

Preheat the oven to 400° F.

In a small amount of olive oil, sautè the garlic just until it begins to brown over medium heat. Remove the garlic and add the spinach to the pan, removing immediately from the heat. This will wilt the spinach. Remove and place on a paper towel to dry.

Brush both sides of the pita bread with olive oil. Sprinkle with salt to taste. Layer the toppings (except the cheese) evenly around the pita, going to the edge all around.
Place in the oven and bake for 20 minutes. Sprinkle the cheese evenly over the top. Bake for an additional 5 minutes.

It was a pleasant surprise finding that pita bread makes a fantastic pizza crust. If you like your crust crispy, it's a really easy way to go.

I had a nice little Bogle merlot with this. It doesn't have the wow factor of some of the reds and malbecs I've been drinking, but it's a nice little wine at a nice little price ($11).

Worst Comment of the Day (8/17/2011)

2011-08-17T14:21:00.001-05:00

Today's comment comes to us from SocialBlunder, accompanying a Slate article arguing against banning incandescent light bulbs:

If you think it is safe to wait for a deus ex machina to reduce CO2 before climate change caused agriculture failure, flooding, droughts then waiting for innovation is reasonable. Unfortunately we are already above 350 ppm (http://www.350.org/en/understanding-350#11). Adding coal plants and developing tar sand oil are now moral issues. Patio heaters, heated car seats, light bulbs, and fireplaces in air conditioned hotel lobbies are those same issues writ small.

It is the role of government to ban or tax undesirable behavior. This has to mean behavioral change – I don’t think we will find an energy source as calorie dense as fossil fuels, so “luxurious” patio heaters may have to give way to warmer socks and a sweater.

Who gets to decide what is undesirable? The government? Pass. It amazes me that anyone could write this with a straight face. I guess they think that if that sort of totalitarianism ever comes to pass, they'll be magically elevated to the role of arbiter based on their ideological purity or something.

Until that happens, excuse me while I point and laugh.

Does This Mean I Can Shop At WalMart Now?

2011-08-17T08:38:00.000-05:00

"A coalition of groups that advocate for the elderly and poor are urging California online shoppers to boycott Amazon.com because of its refusal to collect state sales tax on purchases made through the website.

Organizations including California Alliance for Retired Americans, the Health and Human Services Network of California, Health Access, the Western Center on Law and Poverty, the California Immigration Policy Center, the California Partnership held a Sacramento press conference on Aug. 15 to announce the creation of the Think Before You Click website. They urged people to cancel their Amazon accounts."

HAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAA! No, seriously. Good luck with that.

Dinner and Drinks: Kitchen Sink Chorizo

2011-08-15T07:29:00.003-05:00

I had no plan for dinner last night so I opened the freezer hoping something jumped out at me. A package of chorizo fell out an tried to break my toe. Close enough. What to do with it though? In the end I decided to start grabbing and chopping until I was tired and then see what I had. In the end what I had came to be called...

Kitchen Sink Chorizo

1 lb chorizo, cut up or ground
2 cups white rice
1 red pepper
1 green pepper
1/2 cup green chiles (chopped)
1 onion (chopped)
2 cloves of garlic (minced)
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tomato (diced)
1 can black beans
1 tsp cilantro (2 if using fresh)
2 tsp salt (divided)
1 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 cup chicken stock
1 tsp butter or margarine

Cook the rice according to package directions. Once done, mix in the butter and 1 tsp salt. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the garlic, peppers and onion. Mix in the remaining seasonings. Sautè for about five minutes. Add the chorizo and brown on all sides. Add the chicken stock, beans, tomatoes and chiles. Reduce the liquid over high heat for about 5-7 minutes, or until it reaches desired thickness.

Serve over the rice.

That's it. Pretty uninspiring that. Just cut everything up and throw it in a pan. No fancy plans, no culinary genius. What can I say? It was Sunday night and I was tired.

In keeping with the whole spontanaeity of it all, I paired this dish with a Breckinridge Vanilla Porter. The heavyness of the beer worked, through the vanilla really couldn't shine in a dish like this. I'd better have another to confirm that theory, however.

As Long As You're Going To Take All Sides Seriously, Fargo Forum

2011-08-14T11:02:00.000-05:00

I saw this in the Sunday, August 14th edition of the Fargo Forum and marvelled at the lack of awareness -- intentional or not -- on display.

Happy Birthday, Greatest Basebrawl In History!

2011-08-12T07:46:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid I got to watch the Atlanta Braves on WTBS in Atlanta (you know it now as basic cable channel TBS, home of Seinfeld reruns and The George Lopez Show. Very Funny indeed). On this date in 1984, I saw the Braves play a game against the San Diego Padres. Pascual Perez was the pitcher for Atlanta, and he was, in a word, hot-headed. Another word might be crazy. He once missed a start because he got lost on the way to the stadium and drove the I-285 conntector around Atlanta for hours.

I don't know if it was the August heat or the offensive dog poop-brown Padre uniforms, but Perez' first pitch of the game nailed the batter right in the back. This set off the first of about 42 serious confrontations, mostly involving the Padres' attempts to hit Perez when he came to bat. There were three major fights, one of which involved Braves 3rd baseman Bob Horner and two fans(!) tackling a Padre who tried to rush the dugout to get at Perez. By the time it was over, 13 players and coaches were ejected and five fans were arrested.

Atlanta fans are accused of being too laid back and quiet. It was not always thus.

This Week In the Decline of the British Empire: Squatter's Rights

2011-08-03T11:57:00.000-05:00

I posted several links in the past to unbelievable news stories out of the United Kingdom highlighting the absolutely batshit crazy path our favorite cousins are traveling down. It happens enough that I'm going to start a new category of posts, called This Week in the Decline of the British Empire. For the unaugural installment, I give you this item detailing the travails of a man whose home has been invaded by squatters.

"Neighbours said the property had just been sold when the 12 squatters broke in during the early hours of the morning after a window was forced open.

Since then there has been more damage and endless parties – several of which have culminated in the police being called."

Now, you might think this would be a simple matter of calling the police. Not in the U.K. In the U.K., these squatters have rights. They include free legal representation.

"Mr Hamilton-Brown, 36, applied to the county court last week to seek an interim possession order to enable him to claim the house back.

He did not hire a solicitor because of the expense.

But when he arrived at Clerkenwell and Shoreditch County Court, in East London, he was amazed to find that two of the squatters had been granted legal aid and were represented by a duty solicitor.

Because they were EU citizens and unemployed, they qualified for free legal representation."

Yay! To pour a truckload of salt into the eyes of common decency and conventional wisdom, the squatters posted a sign on the residence to remind everyone just who is in charge (hint: it isn't they guy who pays taxes and owns the house).

"A legal notice put in the front window by the squatters states that anybody who enters without their permission could face six months in jail and a £5,000 fine.

A neighbour said: ‘They have more rights than we do."

So it seems. Enjoy oblivion, England!

Perception Vs Reality: the Debt Deal

2011-08-02T11:00:00.003-05:00

All this handwringing over the budget deal makes it sound like there are serious cuts to governement spending involved. Tsk, tsk. You should know better than that! While all the discussion in the media makes it sound like the cuts are going to put poor people in the street, starve kids, and kill grandma, the reality is that the proposed cuts are spread over the next ten years, and, more importantly, represent reductions in planned spending, not real cuts to overall spending.

That's right. When politicians say, for example, that they're going to cut a budget, say, defense, by 4% in 2015, one might assume that that means that in 2015, the defense budget will be 96% of what it is in 2011. Pish posh. What if the plan is to raise defense spending by 8% in 2015. Now they're going only going to raise it 4% instead! Government math, kids, learn it. Know it. Love it. They do this all the time. If Democrats want an 18% increase in education spending, and they ultimately strike a deal with Republicans for an 8% increase, that is touted in the media as a 10% cut in education spending.

I'm serious. They really do that.

Is your head spinning yet? Maybe a simple visual aid will help.

Updated: Crossposted at Say Anything

Music Diaries: Happy Birthday to Me

2011-07-31T16:34:00.000-05:00

My old SPS acoustic guitar does not sound good. It's not really its fault; I bought it for a about $100 back in 1989 or so. Although I've taken pretty good care of it, it's simply a bottom of the line guitar. Since my birthday is coming up, I thought I'd treat myself to a new one. My requirements were that it sounded at least as good as Donna's Yamaha and that it be electric.

So I headed out to a couple of music stores in town. I sensed a pattern early on; if it was really cool looking it was really cheap and sounded like it. The best sounding guitars I could find were all pretty standard looking natural finish bodies. In the end I paid a little more than I was planning but I found one that sounds amazing. It's a Breedlove Passport Plus C250/SBe. I got it for $599 at Schmidt Music in Fargo. You'll notice, if you click that link, that I got it for $200 under MSRP. Finally, the recession pays off!

Anyway, it sounds incredible -- it's amazing how much better a $600 guitar sounds than a $300 guitar; I don't understand the hows and whys, but it's true -- and is even a bit easier to play than the old SPS. I'm not going to get rid of my old one, by the way. I still like the way it looks, and hey, nostalgia and all that. I think if we can ever get this house fixed up enough to sell it, the SPS would make an awesome piece of wall art.

Dinner and Drinks: Chicken Marengo

2011-07-30T19:13:00.001-05:00

Chicken Marengo is one of those dishes that takes a little while to make, though it's mostly simmering this and baking that, so it's not actually hard, per se. It's really fun to make though, as you can drink lots of wine during the process and it makes the house smell incredible.

It is was supposedly one of Napoleon's favorite dishes, so it may stunt your growth. Studies are inconclusive.

Chicken Marengo

6 chicken breasts (or a whole chicken, skinned and cut up)
1 medium onion (sliced thin)
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup white wine
2 cloves of garlic (chopped)
1/2 tsp thyme (dried, double if using fresh)
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup diced tomatoes
1 cup mushrooms (sliced thin)
1/2 cup black olives (sliced)
1/4 cup butter
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 1/2 oz brandy
salt and pepper

Sautè the onions in the olive oil over medium-high heat until soft. Remove and set aside. Brown the chicken on all sides in the same pan. Add the wine, chicken stock, tomatoes, garlic and thyme and simmer, covered, for about a half hour. Make sure the chicken is done, as it won't spend too much time in the oven later. I turn the chicken halfway through but that's not law or anything.

You've got an hour to kill now, so drink some wine. I'm sipping on some Clos du Bois chardonnay, which is a dry white wine that I think goes well with chicken. I used it in the recipe as well, though you can use cooking wine if you prefer the extra sodium. I don't think this recipe needs it though.

When you've got about fifteen minutes left, preheat your oven to 350°, top off your wine glass and get a sautè pan going with the butter and lemon juice. Soften the mushrooms in it. After that, remove the chicken and set aside. Strain the sauce out of the pan, discarding the solids. Add the liquid back to the pan and reduce it for about 5 minutes on high heat.

Put the chicken, mushrooms, onions, olives in a casserole dish. Sprinkle a shot of brandy over the whole thing and add the sauce. Heat in the oven until everything is nice and heated. That's it: you're done!

I like to keep this meal light, so I make a little spaghetti-type pasta, tossing it with a little butter and salt, then spooning some of the sauce over the top. Ridiculously good.

Music Diaries: Muscle Shoals It Ain't

2011-07-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

I've got an amp; the netbook is for
reading tabs; the atlas is for killing
spiders. No, really.

I have been plugging away at the guitar for about, what, ten weeks now. I am definitely making some progress. The next logical step after learning some chords and working on the transitions is to find some songs you want to learn -- some simpler ones -- and start practicing. Basically I find tabs on the internet, print them off and go down to my makeshift studio in the basement. I listen to the song on my mp3 player and play along until I get the feel for it. I ignore the solos, because well, I'm learning to walk. Flying comes later.

About my "studio": it's really a couple of chairs and a table in the basement (which is in the middle of repairs). It's far from clean, or comfortable, or, you know, nice. Oh well. It'll do for now. As for the playing, I'm not ready to headline Red Rocks yet, but I could probably make enough coin for a beer or two if I set up shop in a subway somewhere.

Trends In Federal Spending

2011-07-21T09:37:00.005-05:00

There is no area of the federal budget that couldn't use a little trimming. This includes the sacred cows of the Left (entitlements like welfare benefits and Social Security) and the Right (Defense). The easiest thing would be an across-the-board cut to the budget. Pick a number, something sensible. Five percent, say. That seems to be off the table though, and instead there's a lot of infighting and charges of wanting old people to die and children to go hungry, and so on. Meanwhile, nothing gets cut. Where does all this money go? Well, looked at one way, the biggest chunk goes to Defense ($925.2B). Of course, that includes all defense spending. Entitlements get broken up into subgroups like "Welfare" ($431.5B), "Pensions" ($805.6M), and "Healthcare" ($866.1B). Put together, entitlement spending far outstrips defense spending. That said, there's still room to cut defense spending. Perhaps we could stop building ships that never sail, for example.

But when you look at the historical data around government spending, some interesting trends emerge. First, take a look at Defense spending through the years. Note that I picked 1950 as the cutoff. I picked it because it's a round number and because the immense amount of spending on WWII skewed the chart's y-axis, making it a bit more difficult to read. Suffice to say that at the peak of WWII, defense spending accounted for over 40% of GDP.

(source)

The trend over the last 60 years is clearly a downward one. Even with the "massive" buildup in the 1980's, we're talking about 7% at the peak of the Reagan era. Fiscal Year 2010 projects around 5.8%.

Now look at the trends in Healthcare:

(source)

And Pensions:

(source)

These trends are not sustainable. They just aren't.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

2011 Schwan's USA Cup

2011-07-17T09:13:00.000-05:00

MJ's traveling soccer team is finishing up their season in Blaine, Minnesota at the Schwan's USA Cup. After severe storms postponed their first game, the team had to play three times on Saturday. The dropped the first game 3-0. In the second game, they won 5-2 behind a hat trick by #59 (aka MJ). Clearly exhausted, they lost a heartbreaker in the third match 3-1.

MJ making a save.

And another.

Celebrating the first of her three (!) goals.

Dribbling in traffic.

Waiting for a corner kick.

MJ taking a shot.

The team (MJ in goal) waiting for a corner.

For all the pictures, visit the online album.

Obama Says... Eat Your Peas!

2011-07-12T09:06:00.000-05:00

An Evening With Kinect

2011-07-05T20:05:00.000-05:00

7:12 pm: Hey, let's play Kinect Adventures!

7:23 pm: This is fun! We should do this every night. It's great exercise.

7:28 pm: Hold on a second. I need to get a towel.

7:37 pm: *Wondering how Wild Turkey improves my reflexes*

7:41 pm: Please, no more jumping. (whimper)

7:48 pm: Pause to execute Bing search for "fastest recorded human heartbeat."

7:55 pm: ----^----^----^----^----^-----------------------------------------------

Fixing Airport Security

2011-06-30T09:25:00.001-05:00

After hearing about this story this morning, in which a man used a fake Id and an expired boarding pass to get on a plane in New York, I had some questions.

Olajide Oluwaseun Noibi, a Nigerian-born man who was found with the stolen ID and up to 10 old boarding passes containing various names, was arrested Wednesday after attempting to board a flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta; five days after passing through layers of airport security at New York's JFK airport to board a plane with a day-old boarding pass.

My first question was, how is that so many things that are a potential threat to airline safety get through TSA checkpoints? For example, a man can carry four knives through TSA checkpoints. A well-known myth buster, can get a 12-inch saw blade through TSA checkpoints. Bombs can get through TSA checkpoints. Guns can get through TSA checkpoints.

My second question was, how can so many things that obviously aren't a threat to airline security get caught. The bomb link above notes that a water bottle was confiscated. Toddlers are searched. Old ladies are practically strip searched. Somehow, a man with a fake Id and an old boarding pass got through. When asked, all the TSA spokesperson could say was:

Generally speaking, though, the TSA said in its statement, "Every passenger that passes through security checkpoints is subject to many layers of security including thorough physical screening at the checkpoint. TSA's review of this matter indicates that the passenger went through screening.

In other words, "We checked to make sure he didn't have a water bottle. We don't check to make sure your boarding pass is valid." Great.
I'm thinking that the TSA needs to spend more time checking the validity of Ids and boarding passes and less time worrying about water bottles and nail clippers. I understand that Ids can be hard to check since each state's looks different and very few (if any) agents can -- or should be expected -- to be able to spot a fake.

What if a passport were required to fly? U.S. passports now contain microchips, holograms, and other hard-to-fake features. The biggest argument against this is cost. While a typical driver's license is cheap to obtain, passports can cost over $100 and are almost as expensive to renew. What if they were as cheap to obtain as a driver's license?

Wouldn't it be a more effective security measure to be able to ensure that the person getting on the plane is the person who is supposed to be getting on the plane? That wouldn't ensure that no plane ever gets attacked or blown up ever again, but it would be a lot more sensible than the system we have to day, which focuses on water bottles and shoes rather than on who's getting on the plane. Partnered with metal detectors and bomb-sniffing dogs, we'd be a lot safer with a lot less hassle.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

Photos from the Tri-Cities Tournament

2011-06-27T10:22:00.000-05:00

This weekend MJ's travelling team played in the Tri-Cities Tournament, which is hosted by the Red River Soccer Association and held at locations in Fargo and Moorhead (I didn't say the team had to travel far). The Pumas lost all three games, showing how far Moorhead competitive soccer has to go. However the girls played hard and were in every game (4-3, 6-2, 2-0 -- okay maybe not that second one).

Here are a few photos:

You can see all the pictury goodness here.

Music Diaries: Amped Up

2011-06-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

I finally broke down and bought a small practice amplifier for my old electric guitar. I bought the guitar back in 1988 or so. It's an Ibanez EX series. I got it for about $200 which back then was like a gajillion bucks. It still sounds pretty okay though, and it holds its tuning alright. That's pretty good considering that guitar didn't see the light of day very much between 1990 and 2011. I did take care to store it properly, so good on me.

Anyway, now I can hear the licks I'm trying to play and I can tell better if I'm getting it down. Cat Scratch Fever doesn't sound the same on an acoustic, and it's not much better on an unplugged electric. I got a nice little amp at Schmidt's Music after I tried to go to Marguerite's only to find out that they close at 6:00 pm on weekdays because, well, shut up, that's why. Anyway, it's a nice little Fender Mustang I which is rated pretty highly as a practice amp. It can crank at 20 watts even though it's the size of a paper shredder (no, seriously -- it's sitting on the floor right next to my paper shredder and they're the same size). My guitar couldn't be happier.

Now I can start learning some of the dulcet riffs of my childhood. Stuff like Judas Priest, Heart, and Krokus. Yeah, Krokus kinda sucks but I always liked that one song. Sue me.

Dinner and Drinks: Special Sauce Edition

2011-06-25T22:03:00.003-05:00

This was a bad week for cooking. I made dinner Monday night, though I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Tuesday was soccer practice, so I took MJ to McDonalds, which is something I really hate doing, but time was against us. (A quick aside -- it's not that I don't like fast food. That's the problem; I love it. Because of that I try to avoid it like the plague. Sometimes it doesn't work out though.) Wednesday Donna had a hair appointment and I had an errand to run, so we grabbed some dinner out. Thursday we were taking the wedding band out to scope the venue, so we made some sandwiches and had a picnic after work. Friday MJ had a soccer game and after that we had tickets to the Redhawks game. Hello foot long chili dog and beer, goodbye nutrition.

So along comes Saturday and it's time to make something at home before I forget how. I'm in the mood for chicken, so I thaw some. MJ's been talking lately about how much she loves spinach dip, so it occurs to me that I could make a nice little sauce that, while no where near as thick as a dip, would still have the flavor. So I whip one up and she loved it.

Asiago Spinach Sauce

1/2 cup asiago cheese (grated)
1/2 cup of fresh spinach (chopped)
1/2 cup cream
1/2 cup chicken stock
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp flour
1 tsp salt

Okay, before we get into the sauce (which is super easy -- I don't know why I'm wasting your time with posting this, actually), a quick word about the chicken. I just cooked this in a little olive oil over high heat to sear it. I seasoned it with sea salt, fresh black pepper, chili powder and tarragon. I know that that combination might make you scratch your head. I have no doubt that if Gordon Ramsey were reading this, he would be sitting at his computer laughing and calling me clever things like "bloody tosser". That's okay. Believe me if you will: that combination worked.

As for the sauce, it starts with a classic cream base: melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir in the flour and whisk until blended. Add the cream and chicken stock and up the heat to medium-high. Be sure to keep whisking so that it doesn't clump. Once it start to boil, add the spinach, salt and garlic. Reduce the heat to medium low. If the sauce gets too thick you might need to add some more chicken stock. Basically, you want it to be thick enough so that it doesn't run all over the place, but not so thick that it won't run a bit when you put it on a plate. Think more gravy than syrup. Add the cheese just before you start plating.

Speaking of plating: I put a few tablespoons on the plate first, then place the chicken breast ever-so-lovingly on top. This sauce is very rich and flavorful; a little goes a long way. You definitely don't need to drown the chicken with it.

I cooked some fresh green beans in garlic, olive oil and a little white wine and whipped up some garlic mashed potatoes to round out the dish (I'll post that recipe some day). I also quartered some mushrooms and sauteèd them in a little butter and garlic (seasoning with a little salt and pepper) because, hey why not.

As for the drink part of this meal, I stayed true to my current obsession with malbecs. Tonight it was a 2008 Alamos. It was a pretty heavy wine, though it apparently isn't a pure malbec. According to this review it's got some cabernet in it. Whatever. It was actually pretty good. Very spicy and heavy. I got it for $10, so, hey, you can't go wrong. I'm still drinking it as I type this so make of that what you will.

A Quick Though Exercise: Applying Government Logic on a Micro Level

2011-06-24T10:00:00.001-05:00

Listening to Tim Geithner try to explain how raising taxes is necessary in order to preserve the current size of government was enough to give me a headache. It's like watching someone try to explain to you that the Earth is flat. This fictional person isn't lying; he really believes the Earth is flat. No amount of explanation on your part about mercator maps and telescopes and space shuttles taking pictures and nobody having ever fallen off the edge of the Earth into deep space will convince him otherwise. He just answers in a sanguine fashion, "Yes, I understand all that. But back to my point. The Earth, being flat..."

Geithner (and most of the current administration) appear to take the following as givens:

1. The deficit is unsustainable.
2. Government must not be made to shrink.
3. QED, taxes must be raised.

That may seem an oversimplification, but watch the video at the link above. Geithner says,

"If you don't touch revenues and you leave in place the tax cuts for the top 2% that were put in place by President Bush, if you leave those in place, and you're trying to bring our deficits down over time, then you have to do exceptionally deep cuts in benefits for middle class Americans and you have to shrink the overall size of government programs, things like education, to levels we could not accept as a country."

The problem is, there is no level of cuts that don't get attacked with words like "draconian" any time they are proposed.

The list above could be more broadly deployed thusly:

1. There is no problem that government can't fix.
2. There is no problem that can be fixed by shrinking government.
3. QED, taxes must be raised.

Look at Geithner's argument: we can't shrink government enough (in his opinion) to deal with the deficit. So rather than spend less money, we need to keep more of the money that workers earn. How that is supposed to stimulate the economy I will never understand. But let's do a quick thought exercise:

Frank is unemployed. He hasn't held a steady job in over four years. He gets one just long enough to requalify for unemployment benefits then leaves. He has a cell phone with a nice data plan, a computer, a nice car, cable TV, and all sorts of other amenities.

One day he realizes that his unemployment benefits aren't going to cover his rent, cable, cell phone, car payment, and his active lifestyle (he likes to go to bars). Frank has two choices: he can stop going out to bars, get rid of his cable, maybe sell his car for something cheaper, get a cheaper cell phone plan. Or, he can go to the unemployment office and say, "I can't get my spending in line without exceptionally deep cuts in my lifestyle to levels I could not accept as a layabout. You need to give me more money to cover my bills."

Tim Geithner and the current administration are Frank.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

President Announces Troop Withdrawal from Afghanistan

2011-06-23T10:43:00.001-05:00

President Obama has announced his plan for the withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan. In short, the plan is to recall 5,000 troops this summer, another 5,000 by the end of the year, and an additional 20,000 by September of 2012. Leaders on both sides of the elephant/donkey divide are criticizing the plan.

"It has been the hope of many in Congress and across the country that the full drawdown of U.S. forces would happen sooner than the president laid out and we will continue to press for a better outcome," said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., leading a chorus of disgruntled Democrats who took the president to task, albeit politely.

Okay, so the Democrats are unhappy that it's taking so long. What's the Republicans' problem with the plan?

House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, warned Obama not to sacrifice the gains the U.S. has made in Afghanistan, while Arizona Sen. John McCain said the drawdown was too rash.

"This is not the 'modest' withdrawal that I and others had hoped for and advocated," McCain said in a statement following Obama's prime-time address to the nation Wednesday night.

So the drawdown is too much, too fast. No surprise there.

I think it's far more likely that the reasoning behind the plan has much to do with the timing; the bulk of the troops will be coming home just before the 2012 election. I think the administration is just hoping that it will give them something positive (from its point of view) to use as a talking point in the late stages of the campaign next fall.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

Some Other Warning Labels the FDA Might Want to Consider

2011-06-21T12:24:00.001-05:00

Hey, look! The government is launching its next offensive in the war on tobacco! Now, at least 50% of a cigarette package's surface area will have to include disgusting images portraying the possible consequences of smoking:

No kidding.

It seems only fair that other dangerous products get treated the same way. To help the FDA along, I've mocked up some helpful warning labels to add to some existing products that are known to cause illness, death, and other negative words that get lawyers all a-twitter. (Click to enlarge)

Seriously. There's even some pseudo-scientific
mumbo jumbo to back it up.

Breaking the Fourth Wall

2011-06-16T07:04:00.003-05:00

So our first round of trying to sell the house didn't go so well. It was on the market for six months. It got looked at three times and there were no offers. Our first realtor had us put it on the market without addressing the leaky basement. We weren't being underhanded; we didn't throw carpet down there and try to make it look liveable and thus foist the problem off on the next owners. We were just up front about it being leaky and explained that this is why the house was inexpensive. No go.

Yeah, just as I thought. bowler hats, a
garter belt, some jacks... and a little mold

So now we are on to our second realtor, who advised us that, no, we really need to do something about the basement. So last night we had a contractor come out and appraise the situation. Basically, he told us that the drywall needs to be cut out along the west side of the house so that he can try and find what he believes is a crack in the wall. The outside seemed to be in good shape, so he believes we won't have to go the (more expensive) route of digging up the outside of the house. Whew.

Anyway, Donna and I are a bit apprehensive about what we're going to find on the other side. Hopefully it will be benign, like Al Capone's vault or Sarah Palin's emails. Otherwise, this could get very expensive. We'll find out tonight when the contractor comes back. With tools.

Music Diaries: Today I am a Man

2011-06-15T12:36:00.000-05:00

The guitar playing has been going well. Even though I took a week off to go fishing the callouses on my fingers were still pretty much intact when I got back and one of the first things I did when I got back home was get a little practice in (Donna was not yet back from a trip to her parents' home).

Banging away on chords is fun, and I'm getting better at the transitions. But I have to admit that after a few weeks I started getting the itch to, you know, play something. Something other people would recognize (not that anyone is going to hear it anytime soon). So I began looking on YouTube for some famous riffs so I could at least practice these chords on songs I like. That software is great, but I don't share the same level of affection for Bob Dylan, The Grateful Dead and Tom Waits that the author does. Yeah, yeah, they're all important to the canon, I get it. But still...

So I found a few videos and wrote down the chords. I can pretty much play the entirety of Hotel Yorba without screwing up too badly. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being "the beginning of Chopsticks on the piano" and 10 being "Any Yngwie Malmsteen solo", Hotel Yorba is about a 2. But it's something, and it's a fun song.

But last night I go to a point where I could play something meaningful, something that all creatures of the Earth respect and love. Something that every guitarist must be able to play before ever dreaming of entering the pantheon of musical greats.

I can play the intro to Cat Scratch Fever.

Today I am a man.

Monday Tuesday Morning Awesomeness (6/14/2011)

2011-06-14T06:42:00.000-05:00

~~Some links to start your day while I get ready to celebrate MJ's tenth birthday!~~ This was supposed to post automatically Monday morning but for some reason it didn't. So, better late than never?

Someday the sun is going to explode and kill all life as we know it. Wanna see that on a micro scale? Of course you do!
What do you do when someone leaves a profanity-laden message on the answering machine of your movie theater complaining about being kicked out of a movie for texting? You play it before every movie as a warning to others!
This is probably fake since I can't figure out why she would post it, but it's pretty funny nonetheless. To sum up: she really cares deeply about cats and needs a date.
An Australian has built the perfect vehicle for outrunning stormtroopers on Endor.

Dinner and Drinks: Tapenade with Mushrooms

2011-06-12T10:06:00.001-05:00

On the list of things I never thought a (then) eight year old girl would love, tapenade would have to be number one with a bullet. It's all the things I hated as a kid: it's unappealing to look at, it has a strong odor of olives, its contains ingredients I had never heard of (capers) that look like miniture peas, bane of my young existence. Then you smear it on bread. There is no way I would have eaten this as a child. MJ loves it, showing once again that she is a smarter kid than I ever was.

This isn't a meal of course. It's an appetizer/finger food. Despite the fancy name it's actually very simple to make. It has a consistency something like caviar, and even looks a bit like it. Rest assured there's no fish eggs in here though. That would be gross.

Tapenade with Mushrooms

Six pieces of french bread, about 4-6 inches long
1 cup portobello mushrooms (sliced)
1/2 cup kalamata olives (or your favorite)
3/4 tbsp capers
1/2 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp thyme
3 tbsp olive oil (divided)
1/2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 cloves garlic
1 tbsp butter

salt
pepper
oregano
fresh parsley (chopped)

Over medium heat melt the butter. Sauteè the mushrooms, sprinkling with salt, pepper and oregano, until soft, about 4-6 minutes. In a small bowl mix 2 tbsp of olive oil and the balsmic vinegar. Submerge the mushrooms (you may want to let them cool first) in the liquid. Cover and refrigerate for at least a 1/2 hour (overnight doesn't hurt; the longer they soak the more flavor they'll retain).

In a food processor combine the olives, remaining oil, garlic, thyme, capers and lemon juice. Pureè until smooth. That's it; you made tapenade!

You can let that set for a bit while you melt some butter or margarine in a microwave. Brush on to your bread and sprinkle with some more oregano. Place in an oven (or toaster oven) and toast that bread until it's a little crispy. Spread the tapenade in a thin layer on the bread (a little goes a long way) and top with the mushrooms. Sprinkle a little chopped parsley and impress your friends.

Tapenade is fun to make because it's easy; you don't have to chop anything. That means it's a simple matter to enjoy some wine while you throw everything in the food processor. Tonight I tried a new one, Red Guitar red. It's another in a long line of $10-$14 wines I grab when I'm at the liquor store. It's "a blend of Tempranillo and Garnacha" that has a "rich, powerful flavors, ripe fruit, and a passion capable of warming the heart even in the cool recesses of the cellar". Whatever. It was okay, but it really seemed to me to be a light fruity merlot. It had that consistency anyway. It's not bad, but for the money I can get some Root: 1 cabernet which is much better.

Dinner and Drinks: Pan Seared Walleye

2011-06-09T19:37:00.001-05:00

Fish frys are great. But sometimes you get a filet so fat that deep frying it violates local ordinances and another method is called for. When those occasions arise, pan searing is a great way to go. It's pretty simple to do and you get some great taste out of few ingredients. You want the fish to be the star.

Pan Seared Walleye

walleye fillets (or heck, use whatever fish you want)
olive oil
salt
pepper
paprika

(optional)
two roma tomatoes (diced)
1 small onion (diced)
1 clove of garlic (minced)
1 tsp olive oil
1/2 tsp tarragon

Season the fish with the salt, pepper and paprika. Pour a bit of olive oil into a skillet and heat on medium high to high. You want the oil to be hot. Use enough so that the fish will submerge about a third of the way. If the oil starts smoking, it's past time you got started. Place the fish down and press with a spatula. You hear a lot that this squeezes all the juice out of meats and fishes, but when pan searing you want to get a nice, well, sear on it. Pressing it down for a couple of seconds helps with that. Don't squeeze the life out of it, just press it a bit.

How long to cook on each side depends on how thick the filet is. It shouldn't take too long, however. The filet in the picture above took about 3-4 minutes per side and came out perfect. If that looks good to you, then you're done. Enjoy!

Otherwise, you can heat a teaspoon of olive oil in another skillet on medium-high. Add some minced garlic and sauteè for about 30 seconds. Add some diced onions and sauteè again -- while reducing the heat to medium-low -- for about 2 minutes or until the onions begin to soften. Add some diced roma tomatoes, tarragon, and salt and pepper to taste. Keep cooking for another 3-5 minutes, or until the tomatoes are softened but still firm. Spoon it on top of the fish and take it to the next level.

Normally for a companion wine I'd suggest a dry chardonnay. But I just got back from a week long fishing trip during which I drank entirely too much alcohol. With this dish I had a giant glass of skim milk.

Here Fishy Fishy

2011-06-09T10:28:00.000-05:00

I'm going to tell you a story. A story of may flies and walleyes, Animal House levels of alcohol comsumption, a steakhouse that wasn't, urination, and beginner's luck. It won't always be pretty. It might offend some of you with more delicate constitutions. Some of the language may be borderline harsh. I apologize in advance for all of this. But it's just a story.

If you look closely you can
see the kitchen sink.

It was a Monday, Memorial Day actually, when friend and coworker Bob^[1] packed up a truck and headed down to South Dakota to meet up with another friend and coworker, Jim, and his boat. When we arrived the wind was howling, causing swarms of may flies to careen into my face and, when it was open, into my mouth. Jim warned us to avoid the "patches that look like mud" on the ground, as they were actually the remains of hundreds of thousands (millions?) of may flies. Apparently there was some sort of insect turf war. I guess the may flies won, as they certainly maintained air superiority.

To all the workers who died building
this monument, rest in peace.

We loaded up the boat and headed the four hours west to our final destination: a state park in central South Dakota I later found out was known for the Great Rattlesnake Manifestation of 2009. Let me just say it's a very good thing I found this out after we were driving back to Fargo and leave it at that. Being Monday evening, the campground was almost deserted. There were maybe two other campsites occupied close enough that we could see them. We quickly made camp, starting with the giant tent Jim brought along. Once it was up and we dismissed the hundreds of day laborers we hired to help, I quickly dubbed it the "Tim Mahal". Jim. Jim Mahal.

With that it was time to mix a drink. Okay, second drink. We had one while supervising the tent workers. As unlikely as it sounds, drinking would become a recurring theme of the week. More on that later (read: shocking statistics to come). I broke out some really excellent hot dogs and cajun brats from Thielen's Meats (after having boiled the brats in beer before leaving Fargo; I'm not a barbarian). After washing those down with some Crown Royal we hit the hay, ready to hit the water early in the morning.

The next morning the wind was gusting up to 476 miles per hour. Naturally, we set out to find a bay or something we could hunker down in to fish, cause after all, what are we, girls? We got on the water and fought the wind for a couple of hours. At one point Poseidon rose from the depths of the bay and hurled a wave at us. It was 100 feet high if it was an inch. That didn't really happen. But we did get tossed around to the point that we all three simultaneously said, "f--- this, let's go back to camp and drink." So we did.

First catch of the trip.

Wednesday dawned and things looked a bit brighter. The winds were a manageable 15-20 and the sun was coming out in dribs and drabs. It was a little cold on the water, but it was welcome after our run-in with the water god the previous day. Being the rookie^[2] I needed some pointers on how to catch walleye. Apparently dragging a leech along the top of the water is not the preferred method. Huh. Anyway, Bob caught our first two fish of the day. Jim got one too, and I was feeling like an extra anchor since I hadn't gotten even a bite. Then I caught the next four fish of the day, including a 29 ^1/2 inch monster that nearly cracked the hull getting it into the boat. Good times. Oh, and we were doing "Lithuanian Shots" everytime we caught a keeper. A Lithuanian Shot is when you guzzle from a liquor bottle because (1) you don't have a shot glass and (2) you're trying to get loaded, duh. We took our limit (of fish, not booze -- that would come later).

Biggest catch of the trip.

Obviously, the first thing you want to do when you come off the water with your limit of fish is to go back to camp and fry them up. So obviously we headed to a place called Bob's Steakhouse^[3] instead. Bob's Steakhouse is the most unique steakhouse in the world in that it only has three steak entrees on its menu and all three of them are the same cut. 90% of the menu is not steak. That said, the top sirloin was pretty good and they almost managed to cook it rare for me. Seriously, no chef ever believes me when I say I want it rare. That's a post for another day though. Anyway, it was pretty good and they had a full bar there so it was fine.

As an aside, I had no idea how spiny walleye are. When you get one in the boat they lay there, all passive, until they sense you are about to touch them. Then they spring themselves into the air and all these defensive weapons in the form of spines fly out from all parts of the fish, impaling everything in site. My fingers and hands were cut to shred before I just started shooting them once I got them into the boat. If you've never seen this phenomenon, this is what it looks like:

A walleye with defensive spines deployed.

Wednesday night, more drinking, etc.

Thursday would prove to be a seminal day in the history of fishing. The weather was absolutely perfect. There was a bit of a breeze, just enough to keep the water moving but no enough to make it difficult to navigate. We didn't catch anything like the monster from the day before, but we did catch both our limit and take three walleye over 20 inches (which was also a limit). More importantly we beat a 1.75 of Jack Daniels to death with our livers. Since the dawn of time man has yearned to destroy a 1.75 liter bottle of whiskey from within the confines of a fishing trip. Well, we did it. And we looked good doing it, too. That evening we did fry up some of our freshest catch and it was delicious.

Thursday night, more drinking, etc.

Linda's: home of the $24
six pack of Busch Lite

Friday was basically a repeat of Thursday as far as the weather and our success at catching fish. It was a bit hotter (around 82 as I recall). We didn't drink nearly as much, having suspended the "catch a fish, drink a shot" rule due to the small poles flying tiny white flags that unceremoniously thrust themselves through our torsos by our failing livers. Good time rock -n- roll! We fried up some more fish for dinner and killed off the last of our beans that night. On the way back to camp though, we decided to break our treaty with our livers and get some more booze, so we stopped in Akaska^[4] and picked up two liters of Jack. Do not ever do this. Apparently the town's sole source of revenue is the taxes it levies on alcohol. One liter of Jack in Akaska goes for $32.50. This is not a joke. I've been in three card monte games that didn't rip me off this badly. Of course, this didn't stop us from paying.

Saturday was our last day on the water, so we wanted to make it count. To show you how serious we were, we only packed beer on the boat this time. Yeah, I know, right? Like I said: serious. Now, when I say "beer", I mean Coors Lite, which is to beer as reality TV is to reality. That is to say, it bears no relation. But canned beer was the logical choice to take camping and boating, and when I'm going to drink cheap beer I want it to taste as much like water as possible. Thus, the Coors Lite. Seriously. Drink a Fat Tire or a Rogue Dead Guy and follow it up with one of these. I dare you to tell the difference between Coors Lite and bottled water. Anyway, we brought 48 of these and were down to our last 20 or so. In the cooler they went. They would not return.

We caught one short of our limit, and only one over 20 inches, so it wasn't our best day of fishing. That's not to say it was bad. Jim did an awesome job of finding the spots where they were biting and keeping us over them, so after being frustrated most of the day we started hitting late. On the way back to shore we discussed the liquor situation, which at that point was dire. We had a 1/2 bottle of $32.50 Jack at camp. We had exhausted the beer. So, yeah, we went back to Linda's and bought a liter of Crown Royal. It was the right decision.

Remember the fallen.
(Not pictured, 48 cans of beer.)

That night we finished off the dogs and brats, supplementing it with a little bit more fish. We also killed off all the booze. Our liquor bottle population was decimated at this point. It was like we committed whiskey genocide or something. Heck, I haven't even mentioned the words "Jim Beam", because he was with us for so brief a time. He was there and gone like leaf in the wind. The next day I gathered the bodies. They were stacked like cordwood, having given their lives to shorten ours.

Sunday dawned and we packed up, tired but a little sad to be going. It was a great trip, and I give my eternal thanks to Jim and Bob for inviting me. I hope I acquitted myself well. If not, at least I got to drink a lot. I learned quite a few things on the trip and have memories to last a lifetime. Some things I'll never forget:

"I like your outfit."
"Hey, I caught a rock!"
"I like a fat wiener in the ash."
"What just fell in the water?"
"You're interesting to talk to."
"Hey, I caught another rock!"
"I'm becoming a Crown bigot."
"I have to write this s--- down."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
^[1] Names have been changed to protect the intoxicated.

^[2] I've been fishing plenty of times before, but my only experience walleye fishing involved catching every other type of fish other than a walleye, up to and including giant squid.

^[3] No relation to the Bob on our trip, which isn't even his real name anyway. Are you paying attention?

^[4] Town motto: 'It's like Alaska with an extra K!'

For all the pictures you didn't see here, check out the online photo album.

Why is the Media Trying to Make Me Like Sarah Palin?

2011-06-06T14:11:00.001-05:00

I am not a fan of Sarah Palin. Not that I dislike her as a person -- I don't know her. But she is a politician with possible aspirations of being President of the United States. As such, she suffers from the same terrible flaws that our current president did when he was running. Very little actual time spent in the trenches of government (Obama was a first time senator, Palin was governor of Alaska) and a foreign policy portfolio that is emptier than PNC Park when the Pirates are in town. For me, these were critical flaws that made supporting Obama impossible and should be doing the same for Palin. There's just one major difference: the media is spending an inordinate amount of time trying to make me like her.

The media is absolutely obsessed with making Sarah Palin look bad. Slate has a running feature called Palinisms which chronicles the supposedly dumb things she says (nothing in there about 57 states, near as I can tell). The major media outlets run with any story that may cast her in a bad light, uniformly bypassing the "layers of fact checkers" which supposedly gives them a sense of superiority in their war with bloggers. All this negative press would be enough for me to get over her terrible accent and feel sympathy for her. But it goes beyond that: she keeps being shown to be in the right in these hatchet job stories.

First there was the famous "I can see Russia from my house" line. Actually, Tina Fey said that in a Saturday Night Live sketch. What Palin actually said was, "They're our next-door neighbors, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska." Turns out that she was right. It soon became conventional wisdom however that the Fey quote was really Palin's and a cottage industry in trying to make her out to be stupid was born.

The Left blogosphere erupted when Palin, while addressing a crowd in October 2010, stated it was too early to "party like it's 1773." Media types, including Gwen Ifill of PBS, rushed to point and laugh. Of course, it then dawned on people that Palin was addressing a local Tea Party group and well, the Boston Tea Party happened in... I'm sure you can figure it out.

Later, Palin used the term "blood libel" in reaction to another media uproar: the idea that conservative talk show hosts and politicians were responsible for inciting violence after the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords. Palin herself was mentioned as a perpetrator after it was revealed that she had used campaign materials that contained crosshairs. This was quite the double whammy: not only was Palin an instigator of violence, but she misused a loaded term while defending herself! There were three problems with this: one, Palin was not the first person to employ crosshairs (or the last). Two, there's a lot more evidence that the Left is responsible for violent acts than the Right. Three, it turns out that Palin not only used the term correctly, but that she wasn't the first. Earlier uses didn't seem to stir up much reaction though. It's like there's an agenda out there or something.

The latest controversy was over Palin's comments during a trip to Boston about Paul Revere's famous ride. In them, she spoke the following words:

He who warned, uh, the ... the British that they weren't gonna be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells and, um, by making sure that as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free ... and we were gonna be armed.

First, let me point out that I love how the writer left all the "uhs" and "ums" in there. Quotes are usually cleaned up to make the speech sound more cohesive) unlike a transcript which is supposed to be verbatim. More importantly however, it turns out that once again, Palin knows more about history than the people mocking her.

I'm sure I'm leaving out all sorts of other episodes in this vein, but this is plenty. All these "Palin moments" are having the effect of making me sympathetic to her. On a basic level I don't like it when I see a bully plying his trade. I root for the underdog. I understand on a gut level that the media doesn't like Sarah Palin. I understand even that they fear her running against Obama in 2012. I get it. I think she's unqualified to be President. If she got the Republican nomination, there's a 98% chance that I would leave the Presidential ballot blank. But there used to be a 100% chance back before the media started working so hard to make me like her.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

Gone Fishin'

2011-05-30T07:09:00.006-05:00

Blogging will be non existent this week and I will be in South Dakota on a week-long fishing trip. Expect pictures galore, as well as tall tales of my fishing prowess and masculinity in the great outdoors.

I didn't have a "Gone Drinkin" sign.

Dinner and Drinks: Savory Sausage and Rice

2011-05-29T20:09:00.001-05:00

One food that I have come to love --LOVE-- in all its glorious forms is sausage. Nothing brightens up a stew or adds the same character to a pasta dish as a good sausage. When I answered Donna's "what's for dinner" by asking for suggestions, she wondered what what we had available in the sausage department. Ignoring the obvious dirty comeback, I started rooting through the freezer. What I found was some wild rice sausage we bought from Thielen's. I've never had it, but I thought it was high time I fixed that.

Savory Sausage and Rice

3 links of your favorite sausage
2 cups of rice
1 cup beef broth
8 oz mushrooms (sliced)
2 green onions (sliced)
2 tbsp corn starch (dissolved in 2 cups of cold water)
2 tsp tarragon
2 tsp salt
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp olive oil

First, get your corn starch mixed in cold water. Important safety tip: corn starch will not mix with hot liquids. Trust me on this. You can't add it to the broth later unless you want little white lumps of corn starch floating around. How much you need to use ultimately depends on how thick you want the sauce.

Get the beef broth cooking in a large skillet on high heat so it will reduce. Add the spices, mushrooms and green onions. Keep reducing until about half the liquid is gone, or until it gets to the consistency you crave. At the same time...

In a separate skillet heat the olive oil over medium high heat. Brown the sausage on all sides. You don't need it to cook all the way through. Slice it and add it to the broth. Reduce the heat on the broth to a simmer. Let it simmer for a while (the longer it does, the more tasty it gets. Cook the rice according to the package directions. Serve the sausage and mushrooms over the rice.

I sauteèd some asparagus tips to go along with it. Heat some olive oil in a skillet on medium-high heat. Add the asparagus and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Toss it around and keep it moving so it doesn't burn. It should just start to go limp. Get it off the heat immediately and serve as it will keep cooking even off the heat.

I accompanied this dish with a Fat Tire, which is a great Belgian amber ale. To me it tastes like a Newcastle Brown ale with a tootsie roll in it. Really good beer, especially when paired with a savory meat dish like this.

Music Diaries: I'm Ready To Learn the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique

2011-05-26T15:46:00.002-05:00

"First punch through this board, then I
I will teach you the F-chord, you
worthless American dog!"

Chord training is going swimmingly, though I've moved past the "easy" ones (simple c, simple g, a7) and gotten into some of the more challenging ones (c, f, g). It's all repetition and improving transition speed from one to the other. The software's been pretty great, especially since the author is no longer doing the singing -- sorry dude; you're a fine guitar teacher but as a singer you're... a fine guitar teacher.

I'm getting much faster, and I'm slowly approaching the point where I can hit the previously-unattainable c-chord on the fly without enough time passing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. My finger tips are slowly coming into form as well. The pads are all rough and ready, like a longshoreman's. They're pretty numb, though whether that's due to their toughening up or catastrophic nerve damage I'm not yet sure. I should know soon. In the meantime, I'm ready for my climactic battle with Bill.

Donna is progressing too; the d chord was kicking her butt for a while but she's getting closer and closer. It's a lot of fun sitting down together to practice. MJ has had the least amount of time with it, as she is only with me half the time. I am going to be out of town next week, but last night she asked if she could take her guitar to her mother's to practice. Of course I said yes. I'll be eager to see how much practice time she actually gets in. She's starting to get a little frustrated with it, as it's getting hard as we go. I keep telling her that that's part of it; everybody would play the guitar if it was easy, etc. We'll see how it goes.

It's clear that Donna has the best musical ear among the three of us; we rely on her to get in tune before practice. I think I'm getting better, but it's hard to tell.

End of the Rec Soccer Season Ushers in the Start of the Competitive Season

2011-05-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

Recreational soccer for the Spring finished up this past weekend. MJ got a one day off to bask in the glow before practice started for her U-10 girls competitive team, the Pumas. This means I get to take off my coaching hat and put on my amateur photographer's hat for the Summer. But before that happens, I have a picture of the final incarnation of the 2010- 2011 Galaxy, the rec team I coached the past two seasons:

Not taken with an EOS 7-D.

They were a great bunch of girls. Really fun to coach and great listeners. They wanted to learn and get better throughout the year, which is always nice to see. I'm going to miss them. Hopefully I will get some of them assigned to my team in the fall as well (though some will be moving up to U-11 and so that can't happen). We'll see.

Now I get to find out how good of a choice I made in buying a DSLR. I'm expecting some great shots.

Monday Morning Awesomeness (5/23/2011)

2011-05-23T08:46:00.001-05:00

Some links to celebrate the Apocalypse being late... again.

Having fun with those moving walkways in airports.
I wish I had been at this party.
If you're reading this, I think it's safe to say this guy just wasted a ton of money.
Cool video demonstrating the resonance properties of certain frequencies.
And you thought me mad to warn of the coming zombie apocalypse. Well, if the CDC takes it seriously, then who's laughing now?
We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

Music Diaries: Getting Started

2011-05-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

So I'm learning the guitar. My first step was to find some software that would help me learn the basics. If I felt the need later to get some personal instruction, at least I wouldn't be a total newbie, right? I finally settled on something called eMedia Guitar Method. (I see it's going for $49 right now -- funny, I got it for $39 last week). I've gotten through the first three chapters and it's pretty fun. I recommend it if you're in the market for such a thing.

The more important thing is that both MJ and Donna want to learn as well. So this weekend we've been huddled around the computer learning chords and terminology and 3/4 time and 4/4 time and all that fun stuff.

But I'm getting ahead of the story. I told MJ that if she really wanted to learn and if she stuck with it, I would get her her own guitar for a birthday present. I needed to go to the local music store (Marguerite's) to get some strings for my acoustic guitar along with a couple other little things. But since Donna is interested too, it seemed we were short a guitar. So when we went into the store on Friday and I told the clerk that I was looking for a starter guitar for a nine-year-old, somebody's eyes got really wide.

So MJ has her very own guitar now. She's really into it (I hope that lasts) as the learning software starts off at a very easy pace.

Then we had another issue; Donna doesn't like either of my guitars. The electric is too heavy and the acoustic has a round back which made it hard for her to keep it in position. So on Saturday we went back to Marguerite's and Donna picked out a really nice-sounding Yamaha for herself. It's like we're starting a band.

That's MJ's starter guitar on top. My very old not-so top of the line SPS
is in the center (hecho en Mexico!). Donna's new Yamaha sounds awesome.

So far so good. I've got the dozen-plus chords I've seen so far down pat (though I can't transition to a C-chord to save my life). I'm having a lot of fun with it. My immediate goal is to be able to play some simple songs from beginning to end. My medium-term goal is to get good enough to justify buying a new electric. That's a bit off in the future though, Maybe a small practice amp for the Ibanez I have now is a little closer to reality. We'll see.

New (Not) Miserable Experience

2011-05-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

There are lots of things I want to do. Many of them I've never done. I don't know why this is. Flying a plane. Writing a book. Getting in better shape. Running a marathon. Travelling the world. These are all things I really really want to do. And yet days go by and I don't seem to make the effort. Is it because I'm lazy? It's certainly partly because of that. Because I kind of am. Not in a I'll-get-by-on-welfare kind of lazy, but my particular brand of lazy is lazy all the same.

There's also an element of fear involved as well, especially with the writing thing. I've written pieces in the past; short stories, that sort of thing. Just like most everybody who's ever shown up at a fiction writing class with a pencil, some paper, and vague dreams of writing the Great American Novel or whatever, it never amounted to much. I looked back at everything I had amassed several years ago. It was crap and I threw it all in a dumpster. Frankly, that's where it belonged.

The thing is though, I think I could write something good. I have ideas, some of which I think would be totally killer/righteous/awesome/da bomb/bitchin'. But in the few and far between moments when I sit down to put those ideas to (electronic) paper, an enormous ennui settles over me. Sometimes I actually get four or fives pages of first draft down before I sputter out. Then I save the file, shut down the netbook and never look at it again.

It's definitely a fear of some sort, but of what kind I'm not really sure. I'm not worried about people reading it and thinking it's terrible; I'm not the type to dwell on what other people think of me too much. I think it's more that I'm worried I'll think it's crap. Subconciously I remember the day I trashed all my other writings and think, "nothing's really changed since then; you're certainly not a better writer, so what's the point?"

I went through a long period in my life where I wasn't very happy with who I was or where I was going. I'm not going to hash out here why I think that was (I've done plenty of that internally), but I will say that it's only in the last year or so that I think I'm starting to pull out of it, if only a little.

That all sounds appropriately melancholy and angsty and all, but this post isn't supposed to be a downer. It started off as a kind of journal entry and meandered off the path a bit. What I really wanted to say with this was that I have an idea for a series of posts that center around a new experience I'm trying.

One of the other things on that list of "things I've always wanted to do" is to learn to play the guitar. I first picked one up when I was sixteen or so. I had some friends who were musicians and they taught me some of the basics. I bought another one a year later (this one an acoustic). Soon after that I put them away and rarely took them out again. Everytime I moved though, they came with me.

The experience with D-Frag in getting ready for my wedding has kind of reminded me how much fun it was to pick up a guitar and play. I never was any good, and I never learned to read music. I could basically just play a few riffs and everything else was pretend. That's going to change though. I'm going to learn. I got some software that teaches guitar. MJ is interested in it (though who knows if that will last) so I think we will do it together. I think Donna's curiosity is piqued too; how cool would it be if we all learned together?

Anyway, I'm going to document my progress with this experience. As of now I know next to nothing -- though I still remember the intro to Welcome Home (Sanitarium), woo! Metallica! -- but that's going to change.

Monday Morning Awesomeness (5/16/2011)

2011-05-16T08:44:00.000-05:00

Some links to start your day off right...

A Georgia Tech masters student figures out a way to make robots cooperate in ways that would make Congress blush.
The narrative is a little bass-ackward for my liking, but the execution is pretty close to flawless.
If you've never heard of a 3-d printer before, you have now.
Check out this incredible cover of Metallica's 'Orion' by a duo that goes by simply Rodrigo y Gabriella

Dinner and Drinks: Mushrooms with Italian Stuffing

2011-05-14T20:49:00.003-05:00

I do a lot of my experimenting on the weekends since I have more time. I also like to eat dinner late. Unfortunately, the others members of my household don't. Fortunately, they are easily pacified with some good finger food. One really good recipe I have is for stuffed mushrooms. It keeps the troops satisfied until I can whip up something more plate-filling after the sun goes down.

Mushrooms with Italian Stuffing

Some nice, big, stuffable mushrooms (or heck, a lot of little ones)
1/2 cup pancetta (chopped)
1 cup red onion (chopped)
2 cups bread, cut into cubes
1 cup milk
2 cloves of garlic (minced)
8 oz spinach (chiffonaded)
1/2 cup asiago cheese (grated)
salt
red pepper flakes (a pinch)
olive oil

First, the bread. Use whatever makes you happy. Tonight I used baguette bread. I used about 3/4 of the loaf, which got me to two cups. I scooped out the soft middle and then cut the harder crust into small pieces. This can soak in the milk for awhile. Make sure you mush it up real good.

For the mushrooms, use whatever kind you want as well. I had some plain old big button mushrooms. Those giant portabella caps work great. If your mushroom have stems, tear them out. I chopped them up and added them to the pan later. If your mushrooms have those ridges inside that look like the blades on a radiator, scoop those out with a spoon. Trust me.

In a skillet over medium-high heat, heat enough oil to coat the pan. Add the pancetta (if you don't want to pay for pancetta, I hear you; use bacon instead) and cook until it browns, about 5 minutes. Add the onions and cook until soft, about three minutes. If you've got mushroom stems from earlier throw them in there too. Add the garlic and pinch of red pepper. Stir and cook for another two minutes. Remove from the heat. While still hot from the stove, add the spinach and stir, wilting the leaves.

Add the pan's contents along with the cheese to the bread and milk mixture, stirring thoroughly with a fork. Add salt to taste (around a teaspoon works).

I take a cookie sheet and cover it with aluminum foil. Then I rub some margarine all over it. Stuff the mushroom caps with the stuffing and place on the cookie sheet. Cook for 30-40 minutes in a 350° oven and you're done.

I tried something called Apothic Red with these, and it worked pretty well. According to the bottle, it's a "masterful blend of rich Zinfandel, flavorful Syrah, and smooth Merlot." I don't know about all that. It was a pretty good little wine though, and it was definitely smooth. I recommend it if you want to try something new in the $11-$12 range.

As for the main course tonight, I just whipped up a little chicken fettucine and salad. I'll save that one for a future entry. Until then, spero vi piaccia i funghi.

Blogger Was Having Technical Difficulties...

2011-05-13T15:48:00.001-05:00

...but everything seems to be back in proper working order now. Sorry for the inconvenience.

If That's What a 'Softron' Is, I Don't Want Any

2011-05-12T10:38:00.000-05:00

Donna sent me this ad, which showed up on the side of her Facebook page one day. I have three theories:

It's a joke.

It's the result of a spambot gaining sentience and striking out on it's own after observing human's penchance for making up words that sound 'sciency' without actually conveying any meaning. (Exhibits: 5-loxin, bifidus regularis, awakeagens)

It's a serious ad and I should look into the type of things Donna is doing on Facebook that would cause such an ad to be selected just for her.

Blogging in the Key of Nerd: Windows Snipping Tool is Being Snippy

2011-05-12T08:52:00.000-05:00

I needed to take a screen shot from a document and was having problems. This should be easy; Alt + PrtScn always did the trick in the past, giving a capture of everything on the screen. If necessary I could paste it into Paint and crop the chaff. Today, nothing.

I decided to try the Snipping Tool (Start > Accessories > Snipping Tool) which allows a much finer control in capturing images; you can draw a box around whatever you want and you're done. That's when I got this:

Windows has prevented this snip from being captured because it contains protected information. Close all protected documents and then try again.

Yikes, that sounds serious. Was this some new level of security inside Windows 7 that could sniff out personal or confidential information and keep bad guys from taking screen captures? Sounded iffy, but hey, who knows.

Short answer, "no". Long answer, "no, it's a bug".

It turns out that there is a known issue with Outlook(!) that causes this problem. Outlook makes use of something called Information Rights Management that allows a person to send a message that can only be read by people with a specific set of credentials. It's very useful for sending out confidential documents. It apparently can also flip a bit somewhere that causes tools like the Snipping Tool to think a confidential document is open, even when it isn't.

I closed and reopened Outlook and was able to perform the screen capture. Knowledge Base is your friend.

Disclosure: I am a design engineer with Microsoft.

Yeah, I Changed the Damn Template Again

2011-05-11T13:41:00.000-05:00

Usually I make changes at the beginning of the year, but the brown-on-dark-brown template was really giving me a headache.

Lifeguard Pay a Symptom of California's Woes

2011-05-11T08:42:00.004-05:00

If I had it to do all over again I might go to lifeguard school and move to Orange County. Apparently you can make a pretty good living sitting on the beach and watching the bikinis stroll by.

According to a city report on lifeguard pay for the calendar year 2010, of the 14 full-time lifeguards, 13 collected more than $120,000 in total compensation; one lifeguard collected $98,160.65. More than half the lifeguards collected more than $150,000 for 2010 with the two highest-paid collecting $211,451 and $203,481 in total compensation respectively. Even excluding benefits like health care and pension, more than half the lifeguards receive a total salary, including overtime pay, exceeding $100,000. And they also receive an annual allowance of $400 for "Sun Protection." Many work four days a week, 10 hours a day.

I know, I know. lifeguards perform a vital service and save lives. But does anyone seriously think that this level of compensation is realistic?
But, putting that aside--it's California; this is just one item on a very large list of problems they are deealing with--what's interesting is the argument put forth by the union:

In a phone conversation, Brent Jacobsen, president of the Lifeguard Management Association, defended the lifeguard pay in Newport Beach: "We have negotiated very fair and very reasonable salaries in conjunction with comparable positions and other cities up and down the coast." "Lifeguard salaries here are well within the norm of other city employees."

Think about that for a minute. Now imagine this hypothetical conversation:

"Flip Udder, president of the Milk Producers of America, defended the current cost of a gallon of milk, which has reached $7.50 throughout the state. 'We have negotiated very fair and very reasonable prices in conjunction with comparable products in other cities up and down the coast.'"

That's called price fixing. It's illegal and it's happened before. You can argue that the collective bargaining between a union and a municipality and collusion among food producers to set coordinate commodity prices is different, but is it really? The end result is the same: the price of a good or service goes up everywhere because it went up somewhere. There's something very wrong about a system that allows a salary increase in one area to automatically roll over to all the other areas within a particular union's influence. This is a key difference between public- and private-sector unions; a collective bargaining victory for a union in one state doesn't necessarily affect the status in another in the private sector. State government unions are necessarily contained within a single state and can represent hundreds of locales. A pay increase at one of these can ripple throughout those locales and put the ~~state government~~ taxpayer on the hook for vast sums. This is at the root of California's ongoing budget problems. $400 for sunblock is just a symptom.

(H/T Rob Clayton for the OC Register link.)

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

An Immigration Presser Translated

2011-05-10T20:44:00.001-05:00

President Obama held a press conference on the U.S. Mexican border today to talk about immigration reform. It can be difficult to decipher politco-speak, so allow me to translate:

"We have gone above and beyond what was requested by the very Republicans who said they supported broader reform as long as we got serious about enforcement," Obama said. "But even though we've answered these concerns, I gotta say I suspect there are still going to be some who are trying to move the goal posts on us one more time."

Translation: We answered those concerns by fighting tooth and nail to stop individual states from enforcing the laws the federal government won't. I don't know how to make it clearer to these knuckleheads that we don't care about their concerns, and yet they continue to insist that we take them seriously. What's up with that?

"Maybe they'll need a moat," he said mockingly to laughter from the crowd. "Maybe they'll want alligators in the moat."

Translation: Ignore that huge tunnel over there.

"I want incomes for middle class families to rise again. I want prosperity in this country to be widely shared. I want everybody to be able to reach that American dream, and that’s why immigration reform is an economic imperative."

Translation: I know what you're thinking; 'shared' is just a euphemism for 'redistribution' and that the American dream is for actual Americans. Shut up.

"We need Washington to know that there is a movement for reform gathering strength from coast to coast. That's how we'll get this done."

Translation: The big labor movement failed. The 'let's get behind healthcare reform' movement failed. The 'Obama was courageous for killing bin Laden' movement failed. I'm due for one of these stupid movements to pan out.

"You make it here if you try."

Translation: It's not like there's enough border guards to cover the whole desert.

He said he would lead a "constructive and civil debate" on the issue but publicly questioned the motives of Republicans and their ability to keep their word.

Translation: Hey, no fair! You're supposed to be on my side, Associated Press!

(Cross posted at Say Anything)

A Million Random Digits

2011-05-10T08:37:00.002-05:00

I'm currently reading The Information: a History, a Theory, a Flood. It's an interesting read (though a bit long at a hefty 544 pages, which is, like, 8900 in Kindle-pages). One anecdote it contains deals with the need of various scientists, physicists; biochemists and the like for random numbers. They come in handy for tasks like studying the motion of particles and testing theories of heredity.

Anyway, back in the 1950's computers weren't so good at dealing with randomness. They were more of the give-an-instruction-get-a-result stripe. Machines that could generate a string of random numbers did exist; they were just prohibitively slow at it. To help researchers, the RAND Corporation published a book containing nothing but 1,000,000 random numbers.

A machine employed an algorithm to generate a string of random numbers, each of which was then sent to a machine that converted it from binary to decimal. This was then fed to a punch card generator. These cards could then be hand fed into another machine that would allow the output to be read. This took years to complete.

I just find it fascinating that there was a time when people (much less scientists) looked up random numbers in a book. A book, I might add, that you can still buy.

It's All Part of My Rock -n- Roll Fantasy

2011-05-06T10:37:00.001-05:00

D-Frag had its first rehearsal in preparation for the Greatest Wedding Reception Ever^TM last night. The band sounds awesome, especially considering their long layoff. I even got to bang the rust off the old pipes for a tune I will be ~~performing~~ rocking the %&@! out of in September. Band member Kevin Racer is in the process of renovating a very cool studio, which is what the band is using as a practice room. When not reliving my heavy metal youth, I took some photos.

You can view the rest of the photos at the wedding website.

Let's See the Pictures Already

2011-05-04T09:42:00.000-05:00

There is a lot of handwringing going on over whether releasing images of Osama bin Laden's corpse would be too inflammatory. Apparently, confirmation that he's dead could cause "certain elements" of the Muslim world to react negatively. One the one hand, I can see this. After all, if a cartoon can be used to incite riots and murder, certainly a picture of an actual event could be used for that same purpose.On the other hand, here are a list of things that invoked no handwringing:

Pictures of prisoners at Abu Ghraib

Pictures of the coffins of American soldiers

Reports of Korans being flushed down toilets (though this apparently never actually happened)

Allowing a government with which we were at war to censor news reports by American journalists in exchange for "access" (Bing 'Eason Jordan' if you've forgotten)

Witholding pictures of a dead bin Laden isn't going to calm anybody down.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

2011 Engineering Day

2011-05-03T20:36:00.000-05:00

Microsoft Fargo hosted an Engineering Day today. In addition to a full day of sessions on subjects like developing for Windows phones, security in the cloud, and adaptive interfaces, there was an expo in the afternoon for developers.It was a venue for all the disparate teams in Fargo (and some outside groups, like North Dakota State University's Computer Science department, among others) to show off their latest innovations. I had double duty; in addition to helping host an expo booth on my latest project, I was also asked to take pictures throughout the day. Here's a little peek:

Dinner and Drinks: Chicken Quesadillas and Spanish Rice

2011-05-01T19:22:00.000-05:00

You know what's good? Mexican food. There's nothing quite like authentic Mexican cuisine. Spicy, flavorful, filling. Mexican food is one of my favorites. I don't know how to make real Mexican food, so what I'm going to talk about here is not that. Sorry. Like most Americans, I think Mexican food consists of tacos, fajitas, and made-up words like most of what passes for the menu at Taco Bell.

That's okay though, since Americanized Mexican cuisine can still be pretty good. A quick and easy meal is the good old quesadilla. It's basically a Mexican pizza in that you can put whatever you want on it, so it's great for kids. Since it's not fast food if you get a side dish that isn't french fries, I tried to make spanish rice for the first time, and damned if it didn't turn out delicious.

Sorry, this is not the greatest picture. I blame the wine.

Chicken Quesadillas and Spanish Rice

Quesasdillas:

8 large soft tortillas
2 skinless chicken breasts
1 cup black olives, sliced
1 onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced
1/2 cup jalapenos, diced (optional)
1 cup Mexican cheese blend
3 tbsp olive oil

Rice:

2 cups rice
2 cups water
3 tbsp tomato paste
2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp cumin
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup onions, diced
1/2 cup green peppers, diced
1 large tomato, pulp removed, diced
1 tbsp olive oil

Preheat your oven to 350^o.

For the chicken, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Season the chicken as you like; I use salt, pepper, chili powder, and garlic powder. Once it's done, cut into small cubes and set aside. I have a second skillet going to cook the the peppers and onions, but do as you will. I add a little dash of cumin to the veggies, but that's optional. Sauteè those veggies until they start to turn soft.

For the tortillas, you can use them "as is" and still be regarded as awesome by your patrons. I heat a large skillet and drop a little canola oil in it, wiping the excess out with a paper towel. Heat the oil and cook the tortilla for one minute a side. You want it to firm up a little without getting crunchy.

Spread the veggies and chicken on a tortilla. Spread some shredded cheese over everything and cover with another tortilla. I heartily encourage using fresh shredded cheese whenever possible. Tonight all I had that would really work was some bagged Mexican blend cheese. Don't judge me.

Before you pop the quesadillas into the oven, start making the rice in that same large skillet you cooked the tortillas in. Add the olive oil and heat it up over medium-high heat. Add the garlic, peppers and onions and sauteè until the begin to soften, about 3-5 minutes. Add the water, spices and tomato paste and mix thoroughly. Bring to a boil and add the rice. If you're using Minute Rice, make sure it is at a boil then remove from heat. Stir continuously until the rice is soft, about 3-5 minutes. If you're using regular white rice, add it then bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20-25 minutes covered, or until rice is tender.

The quesadillas need to go into the oven for about 10-12 minutes to get the cheese nice and melty.

Once done, I quarter the quesadillas and serve with a dollop sour cream dusted with cilantro. If I had it to do over, I probably would have tried to make some salsa. Oh well. I made rice; get off my back.

For the 'drink' portion, I stayed on the malbec kick I've been on for a while now. I bought a bottle of Layer Cake malbec. I'm not one of those people who thinks you have to drink red wine with red meat and white wine with fish; the bottle was open so I drank it. It's probably not the ideal pairing, but it was pretty good. To be honest, I think it finished a little better than the Red Rock malbec I had with the chicken parmesan, but overall I think the Red Rock is a better wine, especially since it's about $4 cheaper, but to each his own. The Layer Cake had one of those little tags on it with a score from some snobby wine ranker or other, so I wanted to try it. Not bad at all. Now that I think about it, I should have a beer.

Dinner and Drinks: Chicken Parmesan

2011-04-22T21:26:00.004-05:00

I don't know anyone who doesn't like Italian food. Such people must exist, but I don't know any of them. As any Italian will tell you, the secret to a good chicken parmesan is the sauce. As an Italian myself (ed note: you are not Italian. Yes I am. My great-grandmother's nanny was Italian. That makes me 1/64 Italian. ed: I stand corrected) I took coming up with a sauce recipe seriously. Going into my first attempt I knew only one thing: it needed to be thick and hearty. Oh--two things: it needed to be unafraid of garlic three--three things: it needed to be thick and hearty; unafraid of garlic; and spicy but not hot.

I won't say I ever made a bad sauce, but I will say it took me awhile to make something I was proud of. It was mainly a matter of figuring out what spices in what amounts (ed: genius). I've got something now I think is pretty damned delicious and it forms the basis for my...

(click to enlarge)

Chicken Parmesan (serves 4)

Chicken:

4 skinless chicken breasts, trimmed of fat
flour
three eggs, beaten
bread crumbs
canola oil
fresh parmesan

Sauce:

30 oz tomato sauce
2-3 tomatoes, diced
4 tbsp tomato paste
3 cloves of garlic (finely chopped)
3 tsp oregano
2 tsp basil
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp sage
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes

I am lucky in that I have a constant supply of fresh canned tomatoes from Donna's family so my sauce starts from a really good base. Because of this, I don't actually use canned sauce and tomatoes. But if I wasn't able to mooch off someone else's garden I would. If you don't have access to the fresh stuff, I'd suggest using fresh tomatoes instead of canned, but hey, do what you want. I won't judge.

Whatever you're using, get it boiling in a large skillet along with all the spices, garlic, and tomato paste. Lower the heat and simmer the sauce. The longer it simmers, the better. Taste it occasionally to make sure the taste is what you're looking for. That's the best piece of advice I can give when making a sauce: taste it!

Give it at least a half hour, then heat some oil over medium high heat. While it's heating, get three small bowls. Fill one with flour, one with three beaten eggs, and one with your bread crumbs.

A quick aside on breadcrumbs: An easy shortcut is to use italian-style breadcrumbs. No shame there. If you want to get a little more adventurous, start with plain breadcrumbs and add your own spices. I'd suggest garlic powder, oregano, basil, paprika, and salt. Play around with the mix until you get something you like. End of aside.

You can do this next step simultaneously with the preparation of the chicken. Get a pan of water going on high to cook some pasta. I use spaghetti, but to each his own. Salt the water and boil until al dente and drain. You can declare your pasta done at this point. I won't judge, but be aware that some Italians might stab you with a sharpened pasta spoon. What I like to do it get another skillet going on medium with some olive oil, garlic, and oregano. When the oil is hot remove the pan from the heat, add the pasta, and stir it around for about 30 seconds or so. Now it's ready to plate.

Coat the chicken breasts in flour, then in the egg wash, then in the breadcrumbs. Put into the hot oil. Once all the breasts are in the pan and the oil is really popping, reduce the heat to medium. Turn when the side that is submerged in the oil is nice and brown, which should only take a few minutes. Flip them over and cook on the other side for about the same amount of time. If you need to, cut into them to make sure they're done all the way through. Nothing messes up a chicken dish like raw chicken.

It sounds like a lot to keep track of. The best way I can think to keep yourself calm in the heat of the kitchen is to open a bottle of wine. For this meal I was enjoying one of my favorite wines: a Red Rock malbec. I've been drinking a lot of malbec lately, and Red Rock is one of the best one I've found. It's really full with a ton of flavor, and at about $11-$12 a bottle I highly recommend it.

Plate the pasta, using a fork to give it a twist. Place the chicken breast on top. Cover with a healthy helping of the sauce. Grate some fresh parmesan on top so it can melt.

I have a thing for fresh garnishes, so I took a couple of roma tomatoes, removed the seeds, and diced them. I piled them in the center of the breast and covered with some fresh black pepper and parsley. Add another glass of wine and you've got yourself a meal.

Do Women Really Think This Way?

2011-04-21T12:59:00.000-05:00

I know a fair number of women. In general they're rational, intelligent, interesting people. They have jobs and families. They drink the occasional beer or glass of wine. They have hopes and dreams and all that happy crap.

None of the women I know seem like insecure idiots. Is it because I'm just lucky enough that the women I know are all above average in the brains and confidence departments? Or am I not seeing the "real" them and they are all actually like the women in this Slate article come off like bad parodies?

My friend "Portia" tends to manipulate situations to get what she wants. In the past, I've indulged this behavior because she has a good heart. The situation devolved last year, after the mutual friend who introduced me to Portia—"Melinda"—got engaged, and then so did I. Portia started playing mental games, sometimes acting as if she didn't even know me, other times trying to drive a wedge between Melinda and me. At Melinda's bridal shower, she only spoke to me when she could insult me. Then, at Melinda's wedding reception, she shoved the maid of honor to the floor because she was doing up the bustle "wrong," spent an hour crying to complete strangers, then had a fight with another bridesmaid on the dance floor. Then she ditched the party completely to hang out with bridesmaids (also strangers) from a different wedding in the same hotel..

Let's imagine this happened to me. Some "friend" of mine got all cuckoo for crazy puffs and started playing weird mind games, assaulting groomsmen and generally "acting a fool", as my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Gordon would say. Here is how I would handle it: I'd never invite him to anything again. I would advise others to do the same. If I was going to be at a function and he showed up, I would consider leaving.

How does the letter writer feel about her miserable excuse for a friend?

And yet I miss her! I wish that she'd been willing to talk, that I could get an apology, and that we could be buddies again.

The absurdity doesn't end there. The advice columnist to which this missive was penned understands complete how the writer feels; of course she wants to still be buddies with someone who assaulted a bridesmaid, kicked her around, toyed with her emotions, ditched your wedding to hang out with strangers and pissed all over your friendship. Because "[i]t can be fun, of course, to have friends who are complete nightmares." Really? Is this how women feel about people like this? I'd like to chalk it up to the two women in the entire world who think this way running into each other by accident. Ladies, please tell me this is the case.

Trump's Opinion on Kelo Decision All the Reason You Need to Dismiss Him as a Candidate

2011-04-21T11:21:00.001-05:00

I've never considered Donald Trump to be a serious candidate for President in 2012. I certainly never considered voting for him. He strikes me as less a serious candidate and more of an attention seeker, using the media's restlessness in waiting for Republicans to announce (so they can start the dirt-finding) as a platform to put on a show. Listening to him lend his wholehearted support to the infamous Kelo decision lends credence to that characterization.

"But the fact is, if you have a person living in an area that’s not even necessarily a good area, and government, whether it’s local or whatever, government wants to build a tremendous economic development, where a lot of people are going to be put to work and make area that’s not good into a good area, and move the person that’s living there into a better place -- now, I know it might not be their choice -- but move the person to a better place and yet create thousands upon thousands of jobs and beautification and lots of other things, I think it happens to be good."

The Kelo decision has been roundly criticized from all corners of the legal world, and rightly so. It gives local governments nearly unfettered power to seize property for "community development" purposes, which is a thinly-disguised way of saying it gives local governments the power to redistribute private property to land developers -- like Donald Trump -- to increase the tax base. That this is done at the expense of personal property rights does nothing to discourage these governments, which have a very powerful incentive to enact exactly these sorts of land redistribution schemes.

If Donald Trump really does consider himself a real candidate in 2012, the quote above should be more than enough justification to cast your vote for someone else.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

I Invented A Business Process And All I Got Was This Awesome Borg Cube

2011-04-18T18:39:00.002-05:00

Microsoft has an incentive for its employees to create patentable processes and applications. I recently worked on just such a process as part of something called the Microsoft Dynamics GP Business Analyzer^TM. You can read about its various incarnations here and here, but the short version is that BA is a tool that can run both within our Dynamics GP application and as a standalone desktop application that gives you access to any SQL Reporting Services report. You can also do some cool things on the fly like render the report with different dates, initiate conversations through Microsoft Communicator 2007^TM or Microsoft Lync^TM, and edit the report.

Anyway, I just received the standard Microsoft patent award, which looks suspiciously like something that used to chase the Enterprise-D around sector 001:

Competition is irrelevant. From this day forward, you will service us.

Pretty nifty. I have no idea what the blemishes on the side are; they won't come off. I can only assume they were left by the entrails of the other patent seekers that our attorneys eviscerated in the lobby of the patent office. It's nice to get recognized like this. Really cool. There's nothing that says "I'm appreciated" like -- what's that? I get cash too? YESSSS!

In related news, I got new business cards.

The process of submitting a patent was equal parts fascinating and maddening. A lot of time was spent to come up with, "Integrating report actions for a series of reports within a single user interface." You have to describe your application or process in a few short words, but those words have to both convey the full scope of what you're trying to patent and differentiate it from every other patent in the world. Did I mention that patent lawyers make a lot of money?

Anyway, it's a pretty cool program. I know it takes a fair amount of criticism; the argument goes something like, "Microsoft should give you a cut of future earnings". But I see two flaws with that. I'm an employee of Microsoft. I already receive a portion of earnings by getting paid. There's nothing out there that forces them to give me anything above and beyond a paycheck to develop the apps I do. It's my job. The other hole I see is that I am one of a large number of people at Microsoft who could have drawn this assignment. I wrote code based on a specification written by someone else. Sure, I designed the application, but it was based on someone else's initiative. I didn't hatch the original idea for this and create it singlehandedly from conception to market. Anyway, maybe I'm not being assertive enough, or maybe the naysayers are greedy. Either way, I got me a borg cube!

Dinner and Drinks: Jambalaya

2011-04-17T20:43:00.002-05:00

I've been kicking around the idea of doing a semi-regular post on cooking on this blog for a while. I'm not really interested in being a food blogger, both because I have way too many things rattling around in my head to specialize, and because there are so many others out there who can do a better job of it than me. Besides, much like I tell people that I'm not a photographer, I'm a guy that likes to take pictures, so am I a guy who likes to cook rather than a chef.

But I also suffer from ego just enough that I post a lot of what-I'm-eating-now statuses on Facebook. This leads to infrequent requests for recipes. While I'm more than happy to share, I don't see why I shouldn't use the opportunity to generate a little blog action on the side.

So, I'm going to do a little experiment I'll call Dinner and Drinks, in which I post a recipe along with whatever I happen to be drinking at the time. No, I'm not constantly drunk. But I do tend to open a bottle of something while I'm experimenting or just when I'm making something that takes a long time. Usually it's wine, but tonight's inaugural entry is beer (and not a fancy one at that).

This isn't the first time I posted a recipe for jambalaya, but with this iteration I think I've got down to a science. I made a couple of on-the-fly adjustments and it turned out so good I think I could serve it in a restaurant. Okay, maybe that's a little pretentious. How about this: it turned out so good that if I ate in a restaurant I, personally, would be pleased. So without further ado...

(Click to enlarge)

Jambalaya

2 tbsp olive oil

2 skinless chicken breasts

1 lb andouille sausage (sliced)

1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 large onion (chopped)

1 green pepper (diced)

1 red pepper (diced)

1/4 cup fresh parsley (chopped)

4 cloves of garlic (minced)
2 tsp chili powder (plus more for dusting the chicken)
1 tsp thyme (dried, double if fresh)
3/4 tsp cayenne pepper (this makes it a bit hot, but that's my excuse to drink an extra beer)
1 tsp salt (plus more for the chicken)
1 tsp black pepper (plus more for the chicken)
1 tsp white pepper
2 cups white rice
2 cups chicken broth
white wine

First you want to season the chicken breasts with salt, black pepper and chili powder. Brown them well on each side in some olive oil over medium-high heat. Remove from the heat and cut into bite-sized chunks.

In a large pot heat tbsp olive oil over medium-high heat. When the oil starts to shimmer add the onions, green and red pepper, parsley and garlic. Stir and cook until the onions start to soften, about three minutes. Add all the remaining seasonings and the sausage and stir well. Continue to cook until the seasonings are fragrant and the aromas blend, about 5 minutes.

If you're using a stainless steel pot or some other non-non-stick pot like me, you've probably got some nice crud on the bottom of your mix now. Don't worry, that's a good thing. Put a big spash of white wine in there and scrape those bits off the bottom. Think of them as flavor crystals. This is called de-glazing. It is your friend.

At this point, it's important to know if you're using regular rice or something like Minute Rice. If you're using plain old white rice, add it to the pot now and stir to coat. Otherwise, set the rice aside until you add the shrimp later.

Add the chicken broth, then the chicken, pressing it down so that it is submerged in the liquid. Bring everything to a boil. Cover and simmer (reducing the heat to low) for about 30 minutes. This should be enough time to finish cooking your chicken as well as letting all the ingredients get to know each other, like a hollywood hottub party.

Look around your counter. Do you have a big pile of rice still sitting there? If so, bring the mixture back to a boil. Add the rice and the shrimp and stir thoroughly. Remove from the heat, cover, and let stand for 5 minutes.

If you added the rice way back before the chicken joined the party, add the shrimp now and simmer for another five minutes over low heat.

That's it. For my beverage pairing I had a nice bottle (okay 2) of Dos Equis lager. That's not a particularly daring brand and beer snobs are clicking their shortcuts to something more palatable. That's okay. I cracked open a Dos Equis because I like a clean, easy beer for meals that have a ton of bold flavors and a touch of heat. Jambalaya is crammed full of flavor, and I make it hot enough that something straight up like a traditional lager works for me. Plus Dos Equis is good.

I hope you enjoy it. If not, remember...

C'est une recette libre, se plaindre d'arrêt.

Winter Trees In Spring

2011-04-16T14:27:00.000-05:00

A few pictures of the trees in my neighborhood after a dying winter's little temper tantrum...

(Click on an image to enlarge.)

How Far Is Too Far in Legislating Morality?

2011-04-14T10:11:00.000-05:00

Posts on Say Anything that involve legislating morality always get a lot of comments. Whether it's gay marriage, gay issues in general, smoking, or the drinking age, posts here that deal with the legislation of morality are magnets for debate.

I don't get to spend as much time on Say Anything as I might like (or Rob for that matter, as he probably thought I'd post more often than I do, but I digress) so I tend to not wade into these debates as I usually come very late to the party. That doesn't mean I don't have opinions on these matters. I do, and they're quite strong.

In cases where laws intersect with morality there are always going to be winners and losers. I can use the terms 'supporters' and 'opponents', but I think my original wording better expresses the real outcome of such laws.

People who lose the ability to perform an act they otherwise might enjoy, whether it's smoking a cigarette in a bar or having a beer at age 19 or marrying their homosexual partner feel like they've lost something when the law says they cannot engage in those acts. People who are morally offended by gay marriage or who stop going to bars because an excess of smoke triggers their asthma feel like they're on the losing side when the law says those actions are legal.

When a law is passed there is usually a moral driver behind it. Often these drivers can find their roots in religious tenets. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Certainly, there is not a one-to-one relationship between laws and religious edicts, but it would be folly to argue that there isn't a common basis in ideas espoused in religious texts (the above may share wording with Christian texts, but all religions have tenets that find commonality in the laws of the lands in which they are observed) and the law of the (secular) land. At what point does the government's desire to enforce behavior--or curb bad behavior-- cross the boundary into forcing a certain vision on morality onto a public that might not want it?

The easy answer is that laws reflect the morality of the people. The problem is that this is a very broad statement that doesn't shine much light on the boundary in question. In fact, that statement is so self evident (in a democracy anyway) as to be meaningless in the current conversation. This is because it is rare that a law represents the beliefs of 100% of a population. Theft? I'm sure I could find someone out there who believes stealing isn't always wrong. Murder? There are people who believe that killing abortion doctors shouldn't be illegal. So we're forced to say that laws reflect the morality of a majority of the people. What constitutes a majority? Unfortunately that isn't an easy question to answer. This is because laws don't always affect the totality of a population.

Take smoking laws. While Bismarck was in the middle of a fight between proponents of a smoking ban and its opponents, the idea of an exception for bars was bandied about. The people directly affected by the outcome of such an exemption would logically be those people who work or frequent those bars. The elements of the public that don't visit or work in those bars would be unaffected by the smoking that takes place in those establishments. In this case, the employees of a bar were among those who supported an exemption. It's highly unlikely that the bars' regulars were pushing for this ban en masse. That means the main driver for the bar ban were people who didn't work in the bars and wouldn't frequent them anyway. Sure, there are undoubtedly a few who would start patronizing non-smoking bars. But as someone who watched a similar fight unfold in Fargo, I can cite several instances before smoking was banned of non-smoking bars opening and then closing a short time later due to poor patronage. The truth is that when it comes to smoking in bars the main proponents of a smoking ban are people who rarely go into bars in the first place, and certainly aren't regulars. That would seem to me to be a clear cut case where the affected majority (as opposed to a clear majority) had a morality they did not share forced upon them.

The debate over the drinking age is another curious case. The standard argument for lowering the drinking age to 18 goes something like this: if they're old enough to fight in a war they're old enough to have a beer. I tend to agree with that view, if only because drinking a beer seems like such a small thing compared to, you know, fighting in a war. The argument for keeping the drinking age where it is goes something like this: drinking may not seem like a bad thing, but tell that to all the families of people killed by drunk drivers. This is an argument that sets up a strawman and does a fine job of chopping it off at the knees. Obviously drunk driving is bad thing. Certainly there should be laws against operating a motor vehicle while drunk. Hold on, let me check--yes, there they are. Framing the argument in such a way as to conflate driving drunk with the drinking age is a mistake. The argument can just as easily be applied to older people as well. Is there magic that happens when a person turns 21 that makes him or her less likely the drive drunk? Maybe. I don't know. Nobody does; at least I've never read any definitive studies that would prove this. If no magical line exists, then shouldn't drinking be outlawed completely? It's the only way to ensure that nobody has to break any bad news to the families, after all.

No, a better argument to make against lowering the drinking age would be that there are different levels of maturity and that, as odd as it may sound, it could be that a person can be deemed mature enough to enlist in the military and be sent off to a foreign land to fight, yet not be mature enough to drink responsibly. I don't personally believe that, and I don't think there's ever been any research to prove or disprove the thesis. But at least it is a thesis and not a blind appeal to emotion made by a strawman.

Regardless however, there is a strong moral sentiment in the debate on both sides. Where does it transition from "enforcing the morality of society" to "forcing the morals of one group on another"? For me, we reach that point when the argument for restricting the rights of another can only be supported by tangential arguments that don't hold up under scrutiny. "Murder is a crime" is on a solid moral foundation. A vast majority of people in this country believe that taking a life for reasons other than self-defense is a crime. If there are people out there who think that it should be legal to kill at a whim, their numbers are small. The reason it enjoys so much support is that the logic behind banning it is simple and sound: when you murder someone you take away a life that cannot be replaced. "Theft is a crime" likewise enjoys the support of a vast number of people. This again is because the logic behind it is irrefutable: when you take someone's property you are depriving them of something which they own and to which you have no claim.

The drinking age debate--18 or 21?--rests on much shakier ground. This is partly because we aren't talking about something that is banned outright. We are talking about setting an age limit at which point a prohibition becomes a right. If age-based restrictions were levied in a vacuum this would be easier. However, our society says children become adults at 18 in so many other areas--voting, age of consent, military enlistment--that setting the drinking age at 21 requires a strong logical basis to set it apart. That logic, from what I have heard, is shaky. I've already talked about drinking and driving being a strawman. Drunk driving is illegal regardless of age. That the military has a vested interest in restricting alcohol because soldiers can't be "drunk in a foxhole" is another strawman. No soldier is allowed to be drunk in a foxhole, any more that I'm allowed to be drunk at my job. The military's interest in alcohol restriction doesn't disappear at age 21.

You may not drink (no one will make you). You may not like being around people who drink (no one will force you). You may not want others to drink. There's no logical argument you can make that would convince a person who believes in personal freedom that your morality should trump theirs. You may want to set an arbitrary age when the right to drink materialized. If that age is different than the age when voting, defending the nation, and becoming a consenting adult, you need a sounder argument.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

You First, Jerks

2011-04-13T19:13:00.000-05:00

Aw... some rich people think their taxes aren't high enough. So naturally they think taxes should be raised for everybody in their tax bracket. Isn't that sweet.

Hey, you really want to set an example? Go to this website and make a gift of all that extra money laying around that you feel so guilty about having. Hopefully that will relieve you of the urge to tell other people what they should do with theirs. Jerks.

(h/t Instapundit)

A.K.A. Macy

2011-04-11T12:19:00.000-05:00

My daughter is a wonderful child. She loves to laugh and play games. She's a genuinely caring individual who loves animals and people. She is also entering that awkward stage where she's not quite sure what to do with herself. Her dress, her hair, her likes and dislikes all change with the seasons (it seems that way, anyway) because she's finding herself. And like most kids her age the ideas she has for what she should look like and what's cool come from her school friends.

Her issues -- and I hesitate to call them that, as she isn't in distress -- are compounded a bit by the fact that she is growing like a weed, if said weed were on growth hormones that had been injected with steroids and stretched on a rack.

She already wears size 6 1/2 women's shoes and buys her dresses in the junior's section. Did I mention that she's nine? To give you an idea check out these pictures from the 2011 Butterfly Ball. Macy is the one on the left. The girl on the right is six months older than Macy. There's a little bit of visual hyperbole going on here, as Macy's friend Bella is little on the small side for her age (though not alarmingly so).

Macy's got that gawky awkwardness her dad suffered through as a kid. I was really tall for my age, and running the bases in little league made me look like a hyperactive chicken experiencing shock therapy. This is not to say that Macy looks like that (or any other sort of comical beast) on the soccer pitch. She honestly doesn't. But I think she's old enough to know that she's a little different while at the same time being too young to really understand that everyone is different. I'm working on that.

In the meantime, I'm enouraged when I see her try something new and break out of what she knows is safe and familiar. At the Butterfly Ball I got out on the dance floor and shook my groove thing. I didn't do this because I'm a good dancer (that's entirely beside the point) or because I enjoy it (I'm more of a 'sit at the bar and laugh at the white girls' type), but because I didn't want Macy to spend the entirety of a dance wishing she understood why she was too shy to get out there.

I was able to convince her after awhile (with the much-appreciated help of young Bella who had no reservations about breaking out the Sprinkler, the Cowboy and the zombie moves from Thriller whether the situation called for it or not) that even though we were standing on a crowded dance floor, no one could see us. Nobody out there gave a damn what we were up to as long as we didn't step on them. Once she realized what I was saying was true, she opened up. She even came up with a couple moves on her own. It was fun to watch.

That brings me to another tentative step into self-determination she is taking: she wants to be called "MJ" now. Actually, she brought up to me a while back and, like an idiot I didn't take her seriously. But I'm trying to accomodate her now, even if most of my sentences start with, "Macy -- I mean MJ". It's hard to call somebody one thing for nine years and then switch, but I can see the smile she gets in her eyes when I correct myself. I think she sees it as an affirmation that she can make some decisions for herself and determine her identity. I think that's great.

Desire to End Roth IRAs Exposes Economic Misconceptions

2011-04-11T10:36:00.001-05:00

Gerald E. Scorse penned an opinion column in Sunday's LA Times that calls for the dissolution of the Roth IRA retirement vehicle. In doing so he demonstrates several wrong ideas about both how economics work and the ownership of wealth in general.

He first points out the differences between the Roth and other retirement accounts, including traditional IRAs, 401(k) plans and 403(b) plans (which are like 401(k)s for non-profits; for a more detailed explanation, go here). Basically, most retirement vehicles allow for savings to be invested tax free. Finds paid out at retirement time are subject to taxes. Roths require taxes to be paid up front (another way to look at it is, there's no initial tax break upon investing). However, future withdrawals are made with out penalty; no taxes are paid on withdrawals. So far, so good.

Next however, Scorse makes an ill-fated comparison to the healthcare law, referring to Roths as a "fiscal Frankenstein", a term an (unnamed) opponent of the healthcare reform bill used to describe the legislation. It's a false comparison. Government-controlled healthcare is an open-ended mandate for federal spending which will require ever-increasing revenue streams (i.e. taxes) to maintain. The funds paid out from a Roth IRA don't come from taxes. Most Roth IRAs, being investment vehicles that utilize stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and other "risk-based" investments, aren't federally insured. (Some Roths, those offered by banks, are FDIC insured for up to $250,000.) Scorse writes:

In return for little more than ordinary upfront taxes, Congress waived untold billions in future Treasury receipts. Then, too, Roths could be a drag on the U.S. economy. Since no withdrawals are required, assets can lie idle indefinitely.

Yes, they can lie idle indefinitely. So what? They can lie idle indefinitely in a savings account until the sun burns out. Should there be a cap on how long money can sit in such an account, accruing interest? Apparently so, as money sitting in an account and not generating revenue for the government is "a bit like toxic instruments on the nation's books".

That statement exposes another misconception: all money belongs to the government. The idea that Roth IRAs are somehow cheating the federal government out of receipts that it is somehow entitled to shows a fundamental lack of respect for how wealth is created. This misconception was on display last year when Barney Frank was heard explaining why estate taxes were such a great thing. Inherent in both Frank's explanation and Scorse argument above is that any money an individual keeps is a gift from the government, to be rescinded or expanded at its whim. It's the federal government's world and you're just living in it.

Scorse ends by quoting Howard Gleckman of the Tax Policy Center:

"In the long run, turning billions of dollars from tax-deferred to tax-free savings will be a huge loser for Treasury. My colleagues at Tax Policy Center figure that, through mid-century, allowing unlimited Roth conversions will reduce federal revenues by $100 billion."

Scorse uses the qualifier "nonpartisan", which always seems to mean "partisan but not for profit". The Tax Policy Center is a joint venture of the the Urban Institute and the Brookings Institute. Nonpartisan? Maybe. Left-leaning? Certainly. This is not an attempt to discredit Gleckman. But it does serve to put his perspective on taxes into a clearer context.
That context ignores the effect that a greater percentage of capital in the hands of private citizens has on treasury receipts. More money in the private sector means more money to spend on goods and services which generates tax revenues. More money in the private sector means more money in the hands of those who create wealth and jobs, which also generate tax revenues. That's the other misconception at play here: money in the hands of government and money in the hands of the private sector are essentially the same when it comes to wealth and job creation.

Roth IRAs encourage planning for retirement. They provide a way for everyone, regardless of income, to prepare for a future where there is money to support them without living on the dole. The logic that says this should be taken away inevitably increases the risk that people looking to retire must rely on the federal government to take care of them through entitlement programs. It creates a perpetual cycle in which more people need the government to take care of them, leading to a need for more government, which needs more tax receipts, and so on. Which illustrates another misconception: the government knows better how to spend your money than you do. That's the real "fiscal Frankenstein".

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

Two Lovely Butterflies At A Ball

2011-04-10T10:27:00.001-05:00

Last night was the 2011 Butterfly Ball, where fathers and daughters get to dress up and get down with their bad selves to music that the fathers have never heard of. This year we had an extra belle -- a Bella, actually. Our friends Kris and Sunnylet me take their daughter Bella to the ball, as Kris had a prior engagement and couldn't go. So Sunny and Bella came up from the Twin Cities for the weekend. While Donna and Sunny went to dinner at Toscana (mmm... Toscana), MJ^[*], Bella and I danced the night away at the Crystal Ballroom at the Ramada and gorged ourselves on the cheesecake bar.

Check out those heels.

^[*]Did I mention that she wants to be called "MJ" now?

Ten Years Gone

2011-04-06T16:54:00.000-05:00

It was ten years ago this month that Microsoft bought Great Plains Software, absorbing into its unsatiable but ultimately benevolent maw the only company ~~that would hire me~~ for which I have plied my Computer Information Systems degree. A lot has changed in that time; the Fargo campus has grown to three buildings with two more rumored to be on the drawing board. Several valued men and women have left to start their own businesses. Other things have stayed the same. We still have the Holiday Wine and Cheese. Our products are still industry leaders. The grass in the parking lot medians only gets cut once a summer.

There's a big celebration planned for June, but in the meantime those of us who were here when the buyout took place received our "ten years at Microsoft" awards. They kind of look like something Superman used to learn about Krypton and weigh as much as a condominium. Pretty cool thing to put on the mantle, though.

My God... It's full of stars!

New At Say Anything: Congress Lacks The Will To See Ryan's Budget Proposal Enacted

2011-04-06T09:51:00.002-05:00

You can debate the merits of Paul Ryan's budget proposal. You can applaud or deride the merits of this specific cut or that.It seems unlikely to me that a budget this ambitious and far reaching would ever make it through the Congressional meatgrinder of partisan politics, dealmaking and good old-fashioned greed. That these cuts--or cuts like them in scope if not in the specific areas outlined in the proposal--are necessary seems beyond argument. I think, however, that our Congress lacks the will (and in some cases the desire) to enact this much cutting in one swoop. This proposal would represent the largest reduction in the size of government in our lifetime. That idea alone is scary to all the wrong people. I'm afraid that the goal Ryan's proposal seeks to acheive is beyond our current Congress.

(Click to read the rest of this article at Say Anything)

Pictures of Cars (and Elvis?)

2011-04-03T11:16:00.001-05:00

Donna's parents are in town this weekend in advance of a trip to Las Vegas. The trip had a dual purpose: while Donna and her mother went shopping for wedding dresses, her dad and I went to the Topper's Car Club's spring car show. Donna found a dress for her and the bridesmaids (Amber, we'll be contacting you soon).

Meanwhile, I took pictures of some cars (click any image to enlarge).

Macy's Presentation on Christa McAuliffe

2011-03-22T19:19:00.000-05:00

Macy was tasked with giving a presentation on a famous explorer. She chose Christa McAuliffe, who was supposed to be the first teacher in space. She lost her life in the Challenger disaster in 1986. Macy had to do a four-minute presentation that contained certain elements, including facts about McAuliffe's life, artifacts from the journey (in this case a small rocket and some mission patches) and providing clues to the class so that they could guess the subject of the presentation.

She did an awesome job (of course) and got a great review from her teacher.

Some Personal Experience With Political Bias In College

2011-03-21T12:53:00.000-05:00

There's been some minor noise recently about two new studies that show colleges and universities have a pronounced leftward drift in their tenure tracks. I'm not sure why these studies keep coming out; (1) they pretty much always report the same findings and (2) those findings are always ignored by those same colleges and universities.

This isn't going to be a rant about how all colleges are overrun by Leftist thought (some are, but not all), or how students who are conservative face an uphill battle on college campuses (they sometimes do, but not always).

Instead I'm going to relate my own personal experience with political thought in college. Largely, politics was ignored at Moorhead State University (now Minnesota State University-Moorhead). It didn't creep into English 101 or Chemsitry 190 or C++ Progamming 250. But it (predictably) remained front and center in one class. It was an internalnational relations class, as I recall. I won't name the professor, though you can probably figure it out with a few minutes of internet detective work. This professor fits the stereotype of a liberal professor. He's very supportive of all the right causes. His real passion is the United Nations, however. He's a true believer in the transformative power of the U.N. and an unwavering supporter of the belief that it should be the funnel through which all state power should flow.

I took this class intentionally and of my own free will. You may wonder why. Well, the reasons are two-fold. Firstly, the class sounded like an interesting way to fulfill one of my electives, a nice break from working in a computer lab. Secondly, I already knew the professor and liked him very much. This is because, in a very important way, he didn't fit the stereotype: he was a man of great conviction who respected the convictions of others.

He knew when he saw my name on his roll that semester that he was getting a student who was far more skeptical of the U.N. and the peace movement than he was. He understood that I wasn't part of the choir. For my part, I didn't fully understand that there was a choir, but I would soon find out. The professor, however, even though we often disagreed, understood why I took the positions I did and respected it. For a short time (we've been out of contact for may years) we had the rarest of relationships; we could talk about politics from different sides of the aisle and agree to do it again sometime when the conversation was over.

But back to the choir. Early on in the class it became apparent that most of my fellow classmates believed there was a right way to think and a wrong way. Unions were great (they get the minimum wage increased, one student informed me). Republicans love war. Democrats like to help people. The military is evil. That sort of thing. It meant that I often found myself taking on the role of devil's advocate in order for any sort or real discussion to take place. Don't get me wrong: I'm not claiming that in a class of about 25 students it was 24-against-me. It was more like ten-against-me with fourteen abstensions. And really it was more like six-against-me with fourteen abstensions and four who used the cover of the six to limply pile on.

One example: the professor was talking about voting and posed a simple question: should voting be mandatory for anyone of legal voting age? I was surprised that the class was pretty solidly in favor of this idea. The reasoning went (yes, I'm simplifying) something like this: voting is good; everybody should participate in a Democracy; voting is how we participate in a Democracy; it doesn't hurt anyone to force them to vote. I raised my hand and played devil's advocate. I explained that forcing someone to vote actually does involve harm; it hurts the person you force to vote since they no longer get a choice in the matter. It hurts the process because there's no requirement that the person inform themselves about the issues; voting becomes a corrupt exercise full of people who don't know what they're voting for. To be sure, this happens now. I just didn't see a need to encourage more of it. I was called naive and a tool and all sorts of other knee-jerk names when I said this, as was pretty normal in this class.

At this point one of the four cover-seekers, as meekly as I have ever heard someone interrupt another--really, it was almost heartbreaking--informed me that in that case I shouldn't complain when an elected official does something I didn't like. In other words, voting was a freedom-to-complain card and if I didn't have one I should just shut up. I politely informed her that I had voted in every election for which I was eligible, federal, state and local. I asked her if she could say the same. She didn't respond, so I assumed that meant no.

It was really kind of fascinating to see this dynamic at work. The same general group of students would wave the flag for the Left. A few others would wait to make sure they had strength of numbers and then would join in to pile on. I wish I had been taking a psychology course at that time so I would have had a forum in which to study it with a professional.

Another time we were talking about media coverage of some event. This would have been 1997 or maybe 1998, so it could have been a lot of things. Something to do with Clinton probably. I made mention of the fact that media biases made it hard to know what was really going on anyway. It resulted in the second (and so far last) time anyone ever hissed at me (the first was in basic training, by a female drill sargeant).

This hisser let me know that I was full of excrement and that the only bias in the media was from Rush Limbaugh. Please take a moment to note more closely what I said and the response to it. You'll see that I made no mention of a liberal media bent, a left-wing conspiracy to make conservatives look bad, or a stirring defense of Rush Limbaugh as a paragon of journalistic virtue. What I did say was that media is biased. That seemed to me then (and still does today) to be an obviously true statement. Fox News is biased. So is Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. So is ABC and the Washington Post and the New York Times and TV Guide. But all the lefties in the class heard was the word 'bias' from someone they had identified as an "other" and filled in the rest of the sentence.

In a sense it was a microcosm of what happens on the internet every day. There was no anonymity, so only those with confidence (or perhaps egos) were able to unselfconsiously let fly with the vitriol. Others were quick to jump in only after they judged little risk to themselves. It makes you wonder what percentage of commenters on this forum would really have the gall to say face to face what they type in the comment box. I'm guessing the percentage is quite low.

I spoke at length about this phenomenon with the professor, His advice was simple: stick to your guns and don't let the fact that you are in the minority get you down. Unspoken but understood was an admonishment to stay respectful even when you weren't being respected. If those people thought that the professor was silently cheering them on, I'm sorry to report that he was a bit disappointed and embarrassed in them. Well, not sorry exactly. But the professor was right, and I followed his advice. I learned a lot from the experience, even if it wasn't in the syllabus.

(Crossposted at Say Anything)

3 Rings

2011-03-12T11:00:00.000-06:00

I took some pictures of our rings for all to see. For all things wedding-related, be sure to check out our website.

Blogging in the Key of Nerd: Setting Up a Debug Environment in the Dynamics GP Client With Locally Built Code Consumed from the Dex Depot

2011-03-10T16:49:00.000-06:00

I had an interesting time trying to set up a debug environment with the Business Analyzer code the other day. This code is stored in the Dexterity depot and consumed as part of the GP build. Due to the difference in the test keys between the two branches, it is not possible to just build locally and drop debug assemblies over the top of the installed components.

Instead, there are a few steps you have to perform. First, go to your project file's debug tab in Visual Studio and set up some debugging options. This involves launching your debug session by starting an external program, in this case Dynamics.exe. Don't forget to use the .set file.

(click to enlarge)

Next you need to go to the Signing tab and set the build process to build with the correct test key. For our project this is located in the \keys folder.

(click to enlarge)

Once this is done, go to the following location in the source codes' depot (in my case this is the Dex11.0 depot): \private\developer. Create a folder in this location with your alias as its name. Create a subfolder called "build". Inside of this build folder create a file called "userenv.cmd". The contents of this file should look like this:

@echo off
rem ******
rem Set type of signing
rem test -- use the test key and full signing
rem delay -- use the real key and do delay signing
rem none -- don't do signing at all
rem prs -- official delay signing
rem ******

set MY_SIGNING=delay
set PREFIX_HOME=%INETROOT%\build\tools\prefix\5.6
set PATH=%PATH%;%INETROOT%\public\ext\fxcop\1.35\x86;%INETROOT%\build\tools;%PREFIX_HOME%\bin;%_NTDEVELOPER%
if exist "%BC_PATH%" (
set SDDIFF=%BC_PATH%
set SDUDIFF=%BC_PATH%
)
if exist "%INETROOT%\build\allpreenv.cmd" (
call "%INETROOT%\build\allpreenv.cmd" %MY_SIGNING%
)
if /i "%MY_SIGNING%"=="none" (
set MY_SIGNING=no
)

for %%i in ("%INETROOT%") do title %%~ni%%~xi %MY_SIGNING% signing

set MY_SIGNING=

Then, close your enlistment command prompt and relaunch. Build your assemblies (debug, of course), drop them into their locations in the GP client install on your machine, and start debugging.

If you run into issues, you may need to disable strong name verification for your debug assemblies. You can do this from your enlistment with the following command:

sn -Vr [assembly]

If you're doing this from the depot, you aren't likely to be in the location where your assembly lives in the GP client install. Remember to provide the full path of each assembly to the sn tool.

The Wedding Diaries (Part 3): Engagement Photos!

2011-03-09T19:59:00.001-06:00

We got our engagement proofs from Milestones Photography and you can view a few selections on our wedding site. Here's a sneak peak:

New At Say Anything: U.K. Energy CEO Sees Atlas Shrugging at Reduced Availability

2011-03-09T08:51:00.001-06:00

I have a confession to make. I think Atlas Shrugged ultimately fails as a piece of literature. It's far too long and makes its central point -- that government meddling in the private sphere mucks things up to no end -- over and over, ad nauseum, like a metronome. By the third gratuitous (and long) illustration the metronome analogy fails and is replaced by one of a hammer pounding on your skull. The characters are largely caricatures, one dimensional heroes or baddies. And "the speech". You know the one I mean.

Looked at as a how-to guide for large, central-planning governments to wreck and economy and lower the standard of living for its citizens, however, the book is gold. Ayn Rand might bombard her readers with endless examples that tell the same story, but that doesn't make the point any less valid. Who knows, maybe that was the point. It's true that by the end of the book it was disheartening to see people with good ideas and a strong work ethic beaten down by inane laws and capricious regulations. The book is a testament to myopic politicians who rig the game for their own short term gain at the expense of the long term welfare of the people.

By that I mean that too many politicians succumb to the immediate; the opportunity to make money, to take up a cause, to champion a law, to elevate their standing with (who they determine to be) the right people. They pursue these goals with a tunnel vision that ensures that any stimuli that might trigger revisitation of those goals will be deflected harmlessly away. That same tunnel is padded with the adulation and support of those same "right people" who walk through tunnels of their own.

(Continue reading this article at Say Anything.)

Social Security: Perception Vs. Reality

2011-03-08T12:20:00.000-06:00

Please read this whole piece by Eric Schurenberg at the Fiscal Times, which details several reasons why Social Security is not and may never be the safety net it was meant to be, at least by the time I'm old enough to start withdrawing.

But, if that's too much book-learnin', I've taken the liberty of condensing Mr. Schurenberg's wisdom down into easily-understandable visual aids:

Perception.

Reality.

Belated Valentine's Gift

2011-03-07T19:44:00.002-06:00

Macy recently gave me a belated Valentine's Day gift, which she made herself. It took awhile for it to set up so that she could give it to me. It was worth the wait. It's a small transparent stone with a message.

...and you're the best daughter a dad could have.

Macy's Letter To The Editor

2011-03-07T09:19:00.001-06:00

So, a couple weekends ago Macy sat down in our living room and wrote a letter. She didn't have any particular reason, and it wasn't really for anyone's eyes, per se. She just felt like writing a letter.

She showed it to me and I told her she should send it to the local paper. Her eyes got wide; she had no idea such a thing was an option. I explained to her what an opinion page was (the whole paper nowadays, amirite?) and she was quite excited. She quickly wanted to know when we could do this. Since she did all the heavy lifting of coming up with the idea and writing it out longhand, I told her I would type it up for her. The condition was that I would type it exactly has she had written it; all the typos, warts and all. Actually, there were very few of those anyway.

As it turns out, her letter got printed in Saturday's Fargo Forum. You can view the electronic version here, but I'm going to reprint it in this post as the electronic version will only be available for free for seven days.

HP Reserves The Right To Screw Up Your Network Printer Even If You Have A Xerox

2011-03-03T15:20:00.000-06:00

So there I am, trying to print a Very Important Document from one of my work machines when I get a message telling me that the printer in question can't be found. "It's right there, next to the candy machine where it always is," I explain patiently. I walk over and, sure enough, there it is: a xerox document center the size of a Waffle House (my midwestern readers should click here). Fine, I think. I'll show you; I've got more than one work machine, and I'll bet that one remembers where the candy machine is. I quarter-turn my chair and go to print. Same problem. Oooookay.

I decide to delete the printer and re-add it, being a rational intelligent person. The deletion step goes exactly as planned. Re-adding proves problematic, however. No matter which printer I attempt to add, I get the following cryptic message:

"Windows cannot connect to the printer. The specified port is unknown."

Well if it's unknown to you, what makes you think I know what it is? I jump onto Bing and provide the error message to the search engine. I get back all kinds of theories including a registry key setting, a need to set up the network printer by attaching it as a local one (not an option), and turning off my firewall (also not an option -- corporate networks tend to frown upon that sort of thing). I sigh dramatically and create a service ticket.

This problem is affecting two of my machines. Both run Windows Server 2008 and have pretty much the exact same suite of development tools. Neither has been wiped recently and other than forced updates, nothing has been installed recently.

A very nice man comes to help and I explain all this to him. We decide it probably has something to do with a patch not playing nice with the printer drivers. He directs me to rename this file:

\Windows\System32\spool\drivers\w32x86\3\hpzpnp.dll

(I rename it by adding ".old" to the end.)

I reboot the machine and... everything works.

You may be wondering how that particular file, which by all accounts is an Hewlitt-Packard assembly file, could keep me from connecting to my Xerox printer. Yeah, me too.

Wanna See Something Really Scary?

2011-02-27T11:54:00.000-06:00

Macy knows I like horror movies. She knows this both because I've told her on more than one occasion and because even a nine-year-old can look at my movie collection and know that The Evil Dead trilogy, Alien, and House on Haunted Hill aren't romantic comedies.

Like any child who thinks her dad is the most awesomeist thing ever, she wants to emulate me to a degree. I know this on an intuitive level; she seeks my approval when she follows in my footsteps. It's all terribly flattering.

She's been lobbying for us to start having scary movie night for a long time now and I want to oblige. Of course, this desire to indulge my daughter is tempered with my desire not to scar her for life. Or, if I'm being honest, my desire to not have to deal with a daughter who's afraid of the dark and has constant nightmares. When I was a kid I always wanted to watch horror movies. My parents generally didn't let me, but I managed to catch a few anyway. The Nosferatu knockoff in the TV adapation of Salem's Lot scare the living crap out of me. So did the ball/scythe mash-up in Phantasm. Seeing these things was thrilling and satisfying right up until the moment my dad would say, "time for bed." Then it was all terror and dread. Luckily, I was a firm believer in the ability of a thin sheet and a thick blanket to keep me safe from all manner of bogeyman.

I want to indulge Macy, who seems to have a firm sense of what is real and what is not. So I did what any responsible father would do in 2011: I solicited the opinions of my friends on Facebook. I explained the situation and my own desire to not thrust Macy right into The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I got several good suggestions, including Poltergeist, which of course I should have thought of immediately. I've been meaning to make Macy deathly afraid of clowns. Some other good ones were ghost stories like The Sixth Sense and The Others. These made sense to me as a way of easing Macy into this sort of thing, like a gateway drug, if you will. Let her get a little taste before pushing her head first into the bowl.

As luck would have it, I got home from work on Friday and discovered that both Signs and The Sixth Sense were going to be showing on movie channels over the course of the weekend. I set the DVR and we made plans to cook up a feast and watch scary movies while we ate.

A quick aside: I don't think Signs or The Sixth Sense qualify as either horror movies or "scary". There are a couple of moments in each, like when you first see the alien in the former at the birthday party or when the kid gets locked in the closet in the latter. But neither movie would have given me reason to sleep with my head under the covers if I had seen them as a child of Macy's age. Gateway drugs, remember.

Macy's impression of Signs was generally favorable, though she thought the aliens looked way too fake (she's right) and wasn't at all scared. The smothered chicken went over much better.

The Sixth Sense was a different story, at least as far as how Macy felt about it. She absolutely loved it. She thought it was creepy without being scary, exactly (which is how I feel about it as well). When she figured out the big twist she was suitably awed. We talked about it afterward and she totally got that Bruce Willis never talked to anyone except Haley Joel Osment after being shot in the opener. She's still talking about it the next day. The funniest part of the movie occurred when the boy handed the grieving father the box which contained evidence that his wife had intentionally poisoned their daughter, causing her death. The father opens the box, which contains a videotape. Macy, confused, asked, "what's that?"

The braciole we made for dinner wasn't as big a hit; I've adjusted the recipe though and I think it'll be much better next time. The tapenade appetizer was gobbled up though (I still can't get over the fact that Macy will eat tapenade).

All in all it was a successful weekend. Macy is, I think, a little disappointed that the movies weren't scarier. She told me she thought The Sixth Sense would have some of those gotcha moments when something jumps out at you. So I'm going to turn up the scare factor a little bit for our next weekend together. I'm hitting Amazon for some classics like Poltergeist, Arachnophobia, and Something Wicked This Way Comes. If she handles those -- which I have no doubt she will -- we'll turn it up a little bit more. I have extra blankets for her bed.

The Theory Of Origin Burger

2011-02-23T22:06:00.000-06:00

After reading this column in today's Forum about burgers that don't live up to the hype, I realized something. Something fundamental and seismic. Something wonderful and terrible. Something that can't be described with mere adjectives. Uh, other than the ones I just used, I mean. It is a new theory of the culinary universe. I call it the Theory of Origin Burger. It states:

The ability of a hamburger chain to create a great burger diminishes with each new creation.

That styofoam will be your tomb.

I've tried just about every new burger the legacy chains have ever crammed into a styfoam container or wrapped in greasy wax paper. Remember the McDLT? How about the Rodeo Cheeseburger? The big legacy chains, Burger King, McDonalds, Hardees, Wendy's; they've tried everything over the years. Burgers with ranch dressing. Burgers with avocado. Burgers with pineapple. Burgers with chicken sandwiches stuck in the middle. They all come, stay for awhile, then drop a twenty dollar bill on the nightstand and say, "later, baby." I try all these johnny-leave-quickies once. Once. But Burger King should have quit after the Whopper. McDonalds has the Big Mac. Wendy's, the classic. Hardees, well okay, Hardees burgers suck everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. Bad example.

A corollary to the Theory of Origin Burger is this:

The more desperate the attempt, the longer the name.

Look at the two burgers that serve as the subject of John Lamb's -- why yes, that is the same John Lamb who will be presiding over my pending nuptials. I know an honest-to-goodness journalist.-- fine article linked above. Burger King's BK Stuffed Steakhouse is certainly a mouthful to say, but with a name like that you know it's not going to be good. How about McDonald's affront to brevity; the Angus Chipotle BBQ Bacon Burger has no choice but to be consigned to the dustbin of history. The name clearly came from the unholy union of a blindfolded dart board tosser and a peyote-addled stream-of-consciousness poet.

Neither has the simple elegance of the chains' flagship sandwiches. Whopper. Big Mac. Short, sweet, to the point. The chains got it right the first time. Further experimentation was, is, and always shall be unnecessary. These lurching forays into burger genesis may provide a brief titillation, but that twenty dollar bill is really a poor substitute for the real thing.

New At Say Anything: The Role of Government: The Purpose of Laws

2011-02-04T08:24:00.001-06:00

Is North Dakota becoming a nanny state? There's sufficient evidence that that new state Congress is working to push North Dakota in that direction. Between new rules for divorce, adding layers to the process of getting a driver's license and wanting to teach abstinence in public
schools 2011 is shaping up to be a banner year for those who believe the role of government is to protect society from every evil that might befall it.

Few would argue that the government has no role in protecting its citizens. The question is, where should that line be drawn? Is there a place it can be drawn that would satisfy all? Probably not. Let's try anyway.

To my mind the first stroke in the sand would fall between two pretty broad categories of harm: the harm that individuals can visit upon themselves and the harm that individuals can visit on others. This would mean that laws against murder, rape, robbery, and many others would fall on the "right" side of this line.
Killing or injuring another, abusing them, taking their property: all these things visit lasting harm on the other and would be the kind of actions that a citizen would expect to be outlawed in a just society.

Where this side of the line gets a little blurry is in the cases where harm is alleged but hard to prove. Discrimination is a prime example. As long as the system is set up to be fair and the burden of proof is both reasonable and on the accuser rather than the accused, I think we can say discrimination is something society would want laws against. Note that the fact that we need to worry about discrimination at all is another topic; it exists so the only question is, is it something for which the government should legislate sanctions.

What laws would be on the "wrong" side of this line? Well, if we define the wrong side as those laws that attempt to protect a citizen from himself, I can think of a few examples. Mandatory seatbelt laws (which North Dakota has enacted) would be one. A law that mandates that passengers in a vehicle wear seatbelts make sense to me; the passengers aren't in control of the car and thus are subject to the decisions of the driver. Should the driver have to wear a seatbelt? No, not if we judge the law using our bright line. The driver can harm no one but himself by not wearing a seatbelt (notwithstanding some farfetched scenario). There have been many recorded cases of an individual being injured or killed because they didn't wear a seatbelt. I am aware of no case where a person was injured because someone else wasn't wearing one. The same argument applies to motorcycle helmets. Passengers would be required to wear them in our bright line legal landscape, drivers would not.

What if we apply our bright line to the laws mentioned at the beginning of this article?

(Click here to read the rest of this article at Say Anything.)

New at Say Anything: No Sex Please, We're North Dakotans

2011-02-02T13:30:00.000-06:00

There's a bill before the North Dakota House that would mandate abstinence-only education in the state's public schools.

I imagine that most people would agree with at least some of the concepts outlined in this bill (North Dakota H.B. 1229). Others, not so much. I'm not particulary interested in hashing out which ones are good or bad, true or false, appropriate or not. That's because while I personally may agree with some of these and disagree with others, I don't think this is an area public schools should be concerning themselves with. I'm a firm believer that it is the purview of parents to take the lead in dicussing sex with their kids, in whatever form that conversation may take and whatever approach those parents may prefer. As someone whose own parents never had "the talk" I understand one major argument in favor of this sort of program. If the parents won't do it, it's up to the school. Except that it's not, anymore than a parent who doesn't buy their kid new shoes means it's up to the school to do it.

(Read the rest of this post, as well as the bill, at Say Anything.)

New At Say Anything: New Congress Revives Internet Record Rentention Initiative

2011-01-30T21:54:00.001-06:00

The new Congress has a lot on its plate. Working to reverse or at at least render less harmless the healthcare law, turning around the economy, reversing the unemployment numbers, dealing with a newly-nuclear Iran (not to mention a still-nuclear North Korea), the recent events in Egypt. Any and all of those things should take precedence over reviving Bush-era legislation to force internet service providers (ISPs) to maintain detailed records of the websites users visit.

A Judiciary committee aide provided a statement this afternoon saying "the purpose of this hearing is to examine the need for retention of certain data by Internet service providers to facilitate law enforcement investigations of Internet child pornography and other Internet crimes," but declined to elaborate.

Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin is scheduled to hold a hearing tomorrow morning to discuss forcing ISPs to store records of their users' activities for later review by police.
Thanks to the GOP takeover of the House, the odds of such legislation advancing have markedly increased. The new chairman of the House Judiciary committee is Lamar Smith of Texas, who previously introduced a data retention bill. Sensenbrenner, the new head of the Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, and Homeland Security, had similar plans but never introduced legislation. (It's not purely a partisan issue: Rep. Diana DeGette, a Colorado Democrat, was the first to announce such a proposal.)

I don't see how the goal of catching child pornographers -- a worthwhile goal to be sure -- justifies infringing the rights of millions of law abiding internet users. I note the use of the nebulous phrase "other internet crimes"; a pliable, ill-defined concept that can both be used to represent any hot topic in the world of cybercrime and serve as a handy placeholder for whatever the listener cares to envision.

The problem here is that using any single crime perpetrated by a small percentage of the population to justify sweeping legislation that trods roughshod over individual privacy rights paints everyone as a presumed criminal. This might arguably be necessary if it were the only way to procure evidence against a perpetrator. Except of course, it isn't.

(Click here to read the rest of this post at Say Anything.)